Santander Soccer Scholars Make Soccer Bearable

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If you’ve been following this page for any amount of time, you know I’m not exactly a soccer fan. And if you’re new here, well — I’m not a soccer fan. But you know what I am a fan of? Corporate social responsibility and my family having a great time.

My family was invited to Gillette Stadium to watch the New England Revolution play the Columbus Crew, to promote Santander Bank’s Soccer Scholars program. And my family was able to enjoy a game from the Santander luxury box as well as being on the field prior to the start of the game.

It was pretty awesome.

But despite the unbelievable views, field access, and delicious pizza while beings sheltered from the rain during the game, the best part was joining up with such a great program.

Soccer Scholars is for kids age 6-17, who strive to excel both on the field and in the classroom. Parents, friend, and family members can nominate students now through October 13 by clicking here, and possibly winning great prizes like:

  • $500 to be put toward future education
  • Four free tickets to a Revolution home game
  • A chance to meet Revs star forward Charlie Davies
  • Field access prior to the game as the Revolution takes the field
  • A chance at the grand prize – having Charlie Davies visit the student’s school

Trust me, you should enter. If my kids are evidence of anything, it’s that they had a great time watching the game in a suite, seeing the players up close, and even meeting Slyde, the Revs mascot.

Before the game, it was amazing to come out of the tunnel and have the Gillette Stadium field open up in front of you. Naturally, my kids get access to professional athletes and the opportunity to marvel at their skills from feet away, and neither of them had much interest.

Sam was impressed with the rubber pellets that make up the turf.

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Will, on the other hand, just wanted to dance.

It was a really great time, the Revolution won 3-1, and a whole bunch of area bloggers got to support a great local company actively improving the community. And that’s the real goal.

That and getting on the Gillette Stadium JumboTron.

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Disclaimer: I was compensated for this post and received free game tickets courtesy of Santander Bank

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Where Have You Done It?

It’s tough to do it after you have kids.

You know how it is, right? Before kids, MJ and I did it all the time. Constantly. We couldn’t get enough and we’d spend all night doing it. In our bed, on the couch — didn’t matter. We did it and we didn’t care who else saw.

But now that we have three boys, it’s not so simple.

First of all, we don’t do it together nearly as often. It seems there’s always a kid around who needs attention, so getting on the same page to do it is nearly impossible. Also, and this is tough to admit, but we just don’t seem to share the same preferences. MJ likes romance but I like action because I want to get right to it. I know she likes to take her time and relax, but I like to do it in short bursts. Sometimes I need a snack or a bathroom break in between doing it, but I’m usually pretty good about getting right back on the horse.

Lately though, MJ hasn’t really wanted to do it. Which means, well, I’ve started to do it alone.

I felt really bad about that at first. After all, we did it together for so long and it was great. I very much prefer doing it with her, but if I have to choose between doing it alone or not doing it at all — I’m going to choose to go solo. And if I’m being honest, sometimes that’s nice. All alone, late at night, lights off and everyone else sleeping. After a few touches it suddenly comes to life and BOOM — I’m revved up and in business.

But there’s a certain amount of shame involved, no question.

Sometimes I’ll hear MJ or the kids stirring while I’m right in the middle of doing it, and I panic. I never want to stop doing it after I’ve started, so I’ll get up and go somewhere else. Yeah, I know. Sick, right? I’ve done it in the bathroom. In the kitchen. In the closet. One time I did it outside and the neighbors were none too pleased. Hell, sometimes I find a way to do it on the train, which is tough with all those people around let me tell you. Another time, Will caught me while I was in the middle of doing it. That was a tough one to explain.

But hey, I’ll do what it takes to make sure I can do it until I reach completion. Otherwise I’ll be totally unsatisfied and grumpy.

Yup. Watching Netflix sure can be tough after you have kids.

The Netflix Sneak

Hey everyone, don’t forget the newest season of Orange is the New Black has dropped and is ready for binge-watching!

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***I received free Netflix for a year and SmartTV for joining the #StreamTeam and writing a monthly Netflix post.

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Review and Giveway: The Vectu On-demand Personal GPS Locator

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My oldest son is eight. A few months ago he asked if he could earn more money in his allowance by taking on additional tasks – specifically, walking the dog. The only problem is I’d lose sight of him if he walked our dog down the nearby dirt road, so my wife and I regrettably said no.

But after receiving the Vectu On-demand Personal GPS Locator and reviewing it for Safewise.com, we can say yes. And do one less chore in the process.

So what is this thing? In a nutshell, it’s a portable device a little smaller than my wallet which you can put in a backpack, someone’s pocket, your car, or a suitcase and know where it is when you want to check. It costs $99, has a $36 annual fee, and you can download the free myAspenta app on iOS and Android, or on the web at myAspenta.com.

But the million dollar question is does it work?

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE AND ENTER TO WIN A GPS LOCATOR!

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The Letter Brock Turner’s Parents Should Have Written

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I am disgusted by the Brock Turner case. I’m appalled that he raped an unconscious woman, I’m aghast at his lack of remorse, and I’m furious about the far too lenient 6-month jail sentence (3 months with parole) he received from a judge who seemed more concerned with the perpetrator’s future than the victim’s suffering.

But with the exception of the rape itself, it’s the letters to the court from his mom and dad that have me feeling the biggest amount of white-hot rage.

Loving and supporting your son is expected. After all, they’re parents. You can’t just stop loving your kid, but failing to even acknowledge the victim while simultaneously painting a convicted rapist as the “real” victim?

Sickening. Reprehensible. Soulless.

It also perfectly illustrates the problem, and highlights the sense of entitlement that likely led to a 19-year-old Stanford swim star thinking there’s nothing wrong with taking what you want, simply because she wasn’t awake to say she didn’t want it.

No one can undo what happened to the poor victim or take back the egregiously slimy letters sent from the parents of her rapist. But there is one thing I’d like to do, and that’s write the kind of letter Brock Turner’s parents should have sent in the first place. Maybe there’s an off chance they’ll see it, and in turn, see where they went wrong.

**********************

Your Honor,

We’re sorry. So, so sorry.

No parent wants to believe their son is capable of a crime like this. We didn’t believe it at first. Hell, we still can’t believe it most days. How do you reconcile the memories of the sweet child you nurtured and raised, with the person found guilty of penetrating an unconscious woman? It really is unthinkable for us, and completely devastating.

But we realize this isn’t about us. It’s about the victim.

No one should have to endure a sexual assault. No matter how drunk or promiscuous, no one deserves to be dragged outside and violated while they’re not even awake. We’re so sorry for the young lady who has dealt with this pain, and will always deal with it, for the rest of her life.

And we’re sorry our son is the cause of it.

I can tell you countless stories about Brock that would, under different circumstances, make you smile. Maybe even warm your heart. I’ve seen him be genuinely kind, compassionate, and empathetic. I’ve seen him work unbelievably hard to achieve goals in the classroom and the swimming pool. I can tell you with complete certainty our son is not a monster.

However, it seems he’s done a monstrous thing. Witnesses saw him at the scene and a jury has found him guilty. It hurts to even type those words, but that’s the reality of the situation.

Truth be told, earlier versions of this letter looked much different. We regaled you with stories about Brock’s past to show how wonderful of a person he was. And we focused on how depressed he is now. How he can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Never smiles. We think of his future as a registered sex offender and how he won’t even be able to coach his future kids’ sports teams. But in the end, we erased it all. Why?

Because we looked at our daughter, and imagined how we’d feel if she were the victim of a similar crime.

No matter how much Brock suffers, we understand the victim here is the young woman who was raped. That’s not easy to say when realizing it means our son — who we love with all of our hearts — might end up in jail. But even though this is the only illegal act he’s ever committed in the past, we understand the seriousness of what happened. We realize the life-altering nature of it. And we can’t help but wonder if we’re partly responsible for raising someone who could do this.

We can’t say Brock doesn’t deserve jail time for what he’s done. But, as his parents, we also can’t stand by and do nothing as you potentially sentence him behind bars, where the same crime will likely be perpetrated on him. So we’re asking for mercy. Please don’t send our son to jail. We believe through counseling, registering as a sex offender, and listening to stories of rape victims while learning firsthand the horrors of what survivors go through, he can be better. We understand how it looks asking for mercy regarding a crime so heinous, but parents look out for their kids and we’re doing that now. No one is beyond saving, and that includes Brock.

We are eternally sorry for the heartbreak this has caused the victim and her family. We’re even more sorry our son is at the heart of it. We have a daughter too and we can’t pretend to even begin to imagine what it’s like going through all this. 

Brock made an unconscionable and indefensible decision that night that will impact everyone involved forever. It might be asking too much, but we’re hoping you can find a way to muster the compassion our son couldn’t conjure up that night. If you do, he will do better. We’ll do better. We will walk hand in hand with him to do advocacy work and try to prevent this from ever happening again. Because we are genuinely and terribly sorry for the pain that’s been inflicted during this time.

We acknowledge the terrible thing he did, but we will always love our son. We can’t help it — no parent can. But as parents, we are also forever scarred by what the victim has endured and thinking about what she and her parents are going through is bone-chilling. 

Thank you for this opportunity, and please consider a merciful sentence for Brock.

Dan and Carleen Turner

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There’s a Ep(isode) for That on Netflix

vintageTVWhile I don’t use TV as a babysitter, it does help me parent from time to time.

I know, I know. Blasphemy, right? The current thinking is NO TV UNTIL 2 BECAUSE SCREEN TIME IS THE DEVIL!!!!! I just don’t buy it. Maybe it’s because I love TV and I want my kids to love it too, but I’ve found the things they watch often have life lessons that sink in better than when I try to impart them. Does that sting admitting Netflix can reach my kids better than I can at times? A little. But you know what? If it gets the job done and the message across, I’m OK with whatever works.

The truth is, Netflix has some great shows with ever better messages. I’m not saying let Netflix do all the work, but use these episodes as conversation starters that plant seeds of discussion. For example:

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Sofia from the show Sofia the First is on the left. She’s Princess Sofia now, but before her days of wearing tiaras she and her mom were just regular, common folks. With common friends. But in Season 1, Episode 2 when she invites her common friends to a sleepover in the castle, Sofia’s snotty new sister, Princess Amber, doesn’t approve of the girls who were plucked from poverty. Not wanting to rock the boat, Sofia asks her old friends to conform to her sister’s snotty ways.

I showed Will this episode when he said one of his first friends at kindergarten didn’t like new friends he had made. While it’s important to make new friends, I told Will it’s important not to forget about your old friends, and never exclude them or ask them to be who they’re not just because it’s inconvenient for you.

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In Season 1, Episode 7 of Dragons: Race to the Edge, my kids learned an even more important lesson — sometimes your friends act like idiots. When Ruffnut & Tuffnut find out they are the owners of the Dragon Riders’ island, they become — well, jerks. They’re arrogant and bossy and they treat their friends like crap. And they don’t realize how awful they were being until it’s almost too late.

I tell Will sometimes he’ll have to deal with friends like this, and sometimes HE’LL be the one doing this. That’s why it’s important to always think of how your words and actions are affecting the people around you.

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One of my new favorite shows since last year is DinoTrux. Mainly because it has a lesson in every episode for younger kids.

I’ve started showing this one to Sam, almost 3, because it stresses teamwork constantly. As a rambunctious almost-3-year-old who doesn’t exactly like to share or play nice with his brothers, I’m letting Ty the T-Trucks and Revvit the Reptool show him things always work better when you team up with friends. Like in Season 1, Episode 4 when Scraptors take Ton-Ton and the group can only save him if they work together to come up with a plan.

Don’t get me wrong, you still have to parent. But thanks to some great shows on Netflix, you don’t have to do it alone.

***I am part of the Netflix Stream Team and received free Netflix and a SmartTV for my work. As always, all opinions are my own.

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