Yearly Archives: 2008

I Resolve to…

You thought this was going to be one of those contemplative New Year’s posts where I dutifully lay out my resolutions to better myself during the next 12 months right? I don’t blame you, the blog world is full of posts like that right now.

But what does that list really accomplish? After all, it isn’t it just a giant list of failures? Things you wanted to accomplish but didn’t, so now you have to try again? That’s just depressing and counterproductive if you ask me. We’re all human so none of us are perfect, and therefore we will never meet expectations all of the time. Why be sadistic? Why remind ourselves of our shortcomings? Everyone except for the most self deluded of us out there know why and how we’re lacking. Lose weight, find a new job, go to the gym everydy…blah blah blah. It’s all so repetitive and in my opinion it’s an exercise in futility.

So instead, here’s my idea…

I’m going to list all of the things I think I did well this year. I’m going to be self-congratulatory and boastful and heap a ton of praise on myself. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it people like me.

1) Continue being a good parent: I know I haven’t been perfect, but since becoming a dad in April I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job. I change diapers, I bathe him, I get up for midnight feedings, I clothe him, I play with him and I take care of him. I know I’m tooting my own horn here, but I’ve been kicking fatherhood’s ass and I’m going to continue to make that my #1 priority.

2) Continue to improve the Web site and get my name out there: I’m an Internet and online moron, but with the help of my brother I think we’re doing OK. There’s room for improvement, but a couple of novices have built up a small but loyal following and we continue to see nothing but growth. I got noticed by Parents magazine and (hopefully) will have a piece appearing some time in the near future. Hopefully the added exposure will gain me some recognition that I can continue to build on.

3) Continue to read even more blogs and meet new people: I had no idea starting this blog would lead to forming so many friendships. Some of you I’ve met, others are simply other bloggers who I feel like I’ve known for years. But talking to all of you has been the most pleasant and surprising byproduct of all this and I want more. There are so many great writers out there and I want my blog roll to be nice and fat by this time next year.

4) Continue to fight the good fight at work: As most everyone knows, this is the worst time in history to be a print journalist. Newspapers are shrinking their staff as ad revenues dry up, and people are losing their jobs as the industry changes. No one knows what the future of newspapers are, but it will most assuredly involve online and new media. Yet every reporter I know has continued to do more with less. We’re under extreme pressure and less than ideal circumstances as we watch colleagues hit the unemployment line while we wonder if our entire profession is on the verge of becoming obsolete. Yet the professionalism and dedication I’ve seen lately leads me to believe there will always be a place for true journalists.

5) Continue to take everything in stride and not freak out: Let’s face it, it’s been a tough year. Before I met MJ I would not have dealt with everything as well as I do now. Instead of going straight to the bar when things get rough, I deal with them head on now. And since my greatest fears involve harm coming not to me, but to my friends and family, it’s been hard watching MJ go through this tough stretch. But I like to think I’ve stepped up when needed and I want to continue to do so.


Alright, that’s it. Five things I liked about myself in 2008. I think with all the negativity recently, everyone should list the things they’re proud of accomplishing this year. To hell with shitty resolutions we may or may not keep. Let’s celebrate our successes and screw the failures.

So, what are you proud of?

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Look Out Ladies

First of all, thanks to everyone who sent well wishes our way. I’m happy to report after being hooked up to an IV for several hours, MJ is doing a million times better today. We still don’t know what exactly was wrong, but her Cat scan came back normal (as normal as the female mind can look, I guess) and she’s resting comfortably today. I passed on all of your notes, emails and messages and they are much appreciated.

But on a happier note, I want to show you all some Christmas pictures of Will. All I can say is he’s going to do much better in the girl department than his old man. Check it out:

The hat is my favorite part

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Happy Freaking New Year

I cannot wait for 2008 to end.

MJ is in the emergency room. We had to go there this morning after she suffered a crippling migraine and couldn’t stop throwing up. To make matters worse, it was JAM PACKED with sick people, which made for a 3-hour wait as she nearly passed out from the pain in the waiting area.

They have her hooked up to an IV, she’s on anti-nausea medication and some kind of crazy-strong headache medicine. They’ve ordered a Catscan for her noggin, but insist it’s more of a precautionary measure. I hope so.

With the exception of Will’s arrival, 2008 has been a shitfest. Problems at work, mortgage troubles, financial crisis, economic bailouts, stock market plunges, leaves of absence and health problems.

Good to see you 2009, now how about bringing some luck with you…

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Stepping Up

The reigns of the Gouveia household are firmly — albeit temporarily — in my hands.

Poor MJ has apparently been hit with the Ebola Virus flu and is so sick it’s not even funny. She was up every hour puking and I’m pretty sure her head was spinning around while projectile vomiting green ooze like The Exorcist. In fact, she was throwing up so much that she couldn’t keep any medicine down. Then, around 5 a.m., it happened…

My wife asked for my help.

That’s when I knew how sick she was, because MJ never asks for help. Ever. But here she was, admitting that she needed me to stay home from work because she just couldn’t look after Will herself. She’s currently sleeping with an ice pack on her face in a sweaty tangle of blanets, alternating between being too hot and too cold. And since my parents and her parents are busy, I’m banging in sick from work.

So, this is the marital equivalent of being called up to the majors. MJ has gone on the injured reserve list and I’m expected to fill in in her absence. I feel like Matt Cassel taking over for Tom Brady, which apparently means I’m going to do a great job, guide my team to an 11-5 record and NOT make the playoffs because Brett Favre and the motherfucking New York Jets are a bunch of incompetent ninnies who couldn’t beat the Dolphins yesterday, making the Patriots the only team to go 11-5 and not make the playoffs since the ’85 Broncos!!! Sorry…I’m a little bitter that I won’t be watching the Patriots in the playoffs for the first time in 6 seasons. Anyways…

It’s not taking care of Will I’m worried about. It’s the household stuff. The dishes, the laundry, folding the laundry, cleaning, making lunch, cooking dinner…that’s the crap I really hate. MJ isn’t out of commission often, but when she does go down I always gain a renewed appreciation for how she makes this family tick.

Today will be one of those days.

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Adventures in Idiocy

It’s been awhile since I bitched and moaned about some of the moms on my parenting message boards. So without further delay, I give you the recent debate regarding whether men, particularly gay men, should be allowed to babysit little girls and vice versa women for little boys. I shit you not…

Basically, one of the moms said she was scrambling for a sitter but thankfully one of her good friends volunteered. He’s trustworthy and nice…but gay. And her husband was OK with him watching their daughter but only because he was gay. He said he would never let a straight man watch his daughter, nor would he let a straight woman watch their son, if they had one.

The original poster herself is asking a decent question and trying to enlist some help. I don’t have any problem with her, although I think her husband is a complete idiot. But what’s worse than his bigoted stance on babysitters is some of the responses. Check it out:

“I would never let a man babysit my daughter. I would also never let a gay individual watch my children as I disagree with that lifestyle.”

“No, I would not let any man baby sit my kids aside from my husband.  I know that most men are awesome and wouldn’t do anything, but it just isn’t a risk I am willing to take. My husband loves kids, his kids, but he says “normal” men don’t like hanging ut with other people’s kids.”

“God does not hate homosexuals, fornicators, or adulters but he hates what they do. I don’t think she was out of line saying she wouldn’t let a homosexual watch her kid, I wouldn’t either. The same as I wouldn’t let a smoker, alchoholuc or anyone who’s lifestyle I don’t agree with. We all are responsible for raising our kids the way we see fit. How could you teach your child that homosexuality is wrong and yet still let them babysit your kids, it’s sending mixed messages.”

“I dont think I would let a man watch my daughter and I’m not sure about any future son’s. Even my brother or close male friends-anyone could do something and men seem to be likely culprits (I know women do too, but its less likely.) I just feel that you cant be too careful.”

“I personally only let my husband, Dad and my brother in law watches them WITH my sister once in a while. Other then that no. I am not comfortable with it. Not in this day in age. I am okay with it as long as a female is with them and it’s someone I completely trust. Other then that NO.”

“I believe that homosexuality is immoral, just as thievery.”

There’s more but it really goes downhill from there. I just couldn’t believe some of the crap I was reading.

First of all, let’s tackle the whole males babysitting girls and females babysitting boys. What the hell does gender matter? If you know the person and you trust the person enough to watch your kids, then that’s all that matters. Period. End of story. What if you have a daughter and a son? Are you going to hire a male babysitter AND a female babysitter for the same night? It’s fricking lunacy.

And then there’s the assumption that men are nothing but perverted child molesters who can’t be trusted to watch children. What the hell is that all about? As if women never have been found to abuse children. Nope, instead it’s all the men. Because that’s an intelligent line of thinking. Dads have a hard enough time overcoming all the stereotypes and prejudices that are already out there. We don’t need this too.

But nothing upsets me more than the hatred toward gays. It’s like these fundamentalist Christian wackjobs believe that homosexuality is contagious. And if the queers start babysitting, all the kids are going to catch the gayness. I wonder if these same parents discriminate in other ways as well. Do they have a problem with blacks and hispanics? What about pagans? Or redheads? Do all babysitters have to have a morality background check performed to make sure they match up with all of the parents’ values? Because God forbid these people subject their children to some diversity. That would be pretty horrible right? Imagine, people with different beliefs and points of view? The horror!

I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But the difference is their opinions discriminate against a whole segment of the population whereas mine are live and let live. And what’s really scary is how these kids are going to turn out if they’re surrounded by the same discriminatory and bigoted people all the time. They’ll probably end up being homeschooled too. Anything to ensure differing points of views are kept out.

It’s just sad.

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