Comments on: FF: Sex Before Marriage: Is It Worth the Wait?

By: Jules

Jules — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 13:09:23 +0000

Wow, sometimes your timing on topics is just crazy! I was just talking to a friend this weekend who waited till the wedding night as did her husband and she is currently having a nervous break down and seriously considering having an affair with a man she met online. When I said that I had “sowed my oats” she responded, “my oats are still in a bag”. She feels like she was too young (married at 23) to realize that one day she would truly feel like an adult and want to experience life as an adult as a single woman. She loves her husband very much and he is a great guy and she knows that, she just really has the itch and it’s hard to ignore when you know that you are suppose to ignore it FOREVER.

I certainly respect those that make that decision, however for me there was no way I was waiting. And I am glad I didn’t, I KNOW that had my husband been my first (wedding night or not) I would constantly wonder what it would be like with someone else. And I have dated people that seemed great and then we had zero sexual chemistry, sorry marriage just wouldn’t have worked.

As far as my children, I will support what ever they choose to do, as long as they are reasonably old enough and are responsible. I was raised in a house where we were expected to wait until marriage and I feel like all that did was leave us unprepared for “the heat of the moment”. I will be completely honest and open here, I was 15 my first time and it was not planned and just totally happened, there was no condom involved because I just was not prepared. I was very luch to not get preganant or a VD, but I did not learn my lesson! The next guy was at 16 and again no condom. Again I was lucky, but my husband and I have discussed how we will broach this topic with our children and we both agree to teach them that they are special and that their body is a gift and to only give it to people who are worthy and to ALWAYS use a condom.

By: Kevin W. Grossman

Kevin W. Grossman — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:37:08 +0000

Yea…um…no. Understand that people wait, and that’s great, but no.

So, I was 14 and my wife was 14. Not with each other, but the point being is that we started early.

Now, when my daughter is a teenager, I definitely would prefer she not start having sex at 14, or 18, or 35 – but we will educate her and we won’t be naive to think she won’t experiment in high school and/or college and/or before she’s married. We just want her to be smart about her choices, which is hard to do when you want to have an orgasm.

God help me.

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:06:29 +0000

Totally agree! There is no way I could have waited and no way I would have wanted to. Personally, I’m glad DH wasnt my first and only. I’m glad that I got to have a wild and fun sex life before actually committing to one man; I think if I had not, I wouldn’t be a very good wifey.

By: BellaDaddy

BellaDaddy — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:50:57 +0000

No joke, right there with ya…gotta have the test drive…at least for me. But, no judgements against those that wait…all about choice!

By: Daddy Files

Daddy Files — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 14:42:23 +0000

@Jason: You’re right, that’s a definite clarification I should’ve made in the post. Sorry about that.

@Badass: You weren’t a virgin?? You man slut you! But definitely, it’s different for every couple.

@finding me: Thanks. Yeah, I’m not comfortable without having “experienced the goods” first. No one wants buyer’s remorse!

@Andrea: I can’t imagine dating for all that time with no sex. I imagine it probably creates some added pressure and conflict too. But I’m glad you worked everything out and did what was right for you. Thanks for sharing.