There was an…incident, on Monday.
Will was watching Handy Manny on TV, happily enjoying his morning milk when Nature called to me. So I walked to the bathroom and I started to pee. And since we’re slowly trying to get Will used to the idea of going in the potty, I’ve been instructed to leave the door open when I’m peeing so Will can watch (and hopefully emulate) me.
Truthfully, it’s somewhat difficult to “perform” when someone is watching you intently and chronicling your every move. Sort of like prison, I imagine.
So I’m in the habit of leaving the door open when I pee, and Will usually follows me in there. But seeing as it was so early in the morning, I really wasn’t paying attention. And because he was in his ultra soft and comfy feety pajamas, I didn’t hear him walk over to me.
Suddenly, in my sleepy haze and right in the middle of peeing, I hear a cute little voice chirp “Dada, pee pee?” It caught me off guard. But not nearly as much as when Will decided to prove to me that he knew exactly what a pee pee was, by pointing at it.
Except…well…he got a little too close when he pointed.
Yup. He put his hand in the stream. All of a sudden piss was spraying everywhere. I didn’t help matters by momentarily freaking out and shifting my position. Just in case you ladies haven’t heard, stopping in mid-stream is painful and quite honestly it takes a few seconds to turn the hose off. That means when I turned, I got more piss on my son, myself and my surroundings.
You can read all you want about potty training, but there is no section about what to do when you accidentally urinate on your own son. I checked.
Maybe I’m the one who needs to be potty trained.
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Poor Will … stained for life.
So, was he pissed?
When will you teach him the phrase “Piss off” doesn’t mean washing up after watching Daddy?
I’ll bet the incident put you in a pissy mood for a while…
They have these little things that float in the toilet called “Piddlers”. They might improve your aim; you should check them out.
Jimbo, we have those. I didn’t know what they were and MJ put them on top of the fridge. I almost ate one because they look like candy.
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Jimbo was making fun of you considering you wrote a post about the Piddlers… maybe you’re more traumatized about this whole incident than you realized!
You did take a long time to potty train…I think you were 14.
ah…i could make the obvious joke here about marking your territory.
but i’ll be nice.
You need to put bells on that kid.
LOL. He’ll only do that once.
They do say it is better to be pissed off than pissed on…
You R. Kelly’d your own son? Bad form.
Dammit JEE! How could I author a post about peeing on my kid and NOT include an R. Kelly joke?? This is why I should run all my drafts past you first!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-vpdETMjb8
LMAO!!! You have no good sense!!!
love it – great post.
I’m finally catching up on blogs and I’m so glad I started with yours. I needed the laugh today, thanks!