I made a deal with myself and the universe this morning. If the pro life protesters didn’t negatively affect MJ today, then I wouldn’t let them affect me. After all, she’s the only one who matters right now. It’s not time to be selfish, it’s time to do whatever it takes to make MJ happy.
When we drove up this morning, my blood boiled immediately. There were more of them today, on each side of the street. And this time they had an increased number of signs and banners. One said “99 Babies Saved Since 2009.” Another said “God is Pro-Life.” One guy had a picture of a fetus that said “Is This a Child or a Choice?” I took deep breaths and put my arm around MJ. When they spotted us walking toward the door, they started yelling.
“YOU’RE KILLING YOUR UNBORN BABY!” was the most offensive of the remarks I heard.
I turned toward them ready to unleash every ounce of fury, but I remembered MJ. So I glared at them for one more second and reluctantly walked inside. We were searched (because some anti-abortion protesters have been known to go postal and shoot up a place or just bomb it) and finally seated. I took a deep breath and felt my blood pressure and heart rate return to normal.
But when I looked at MJ she was in tears.
Those self-righteous assholes had gotten to her. Without knowing one solitary thing about her or why we were there, they inserted themselves directly into our nightmare and made it that much worse. So now my wife, who was already nervous as hell prior to surgery, is near hysterics. Me not being allowed in there with her only made it that much more painful.
I was seething and glaring out the window at a woman holding a picture of Jesus across the street. Then MJ asked me what I was going to do for the next couple of hours. I looked at her, then looked out the window, then back at her. I asked permission with my eyes, never uttering a word. And as they called her name she nodded and gave me a kiss.
Here’s the result:
Hands down, my favorite part of that video is when the lady on the right asks me if I’m recording and then turns away. This is a woman who stands out in public all day long yelling awful things at complete strangers, holding offensive signs that are seen not only by the women at the clinic, but also the countless people (and kids) who pass by. Yet when I’m recording her she turns away to hide her face and calls it “ridiculous.”
I was on a public sidewalk, same as her. I was shouting things at her, just like she does to others all day long. But even though she’s in plain view of everyone, she balks at someone recording her (which is perfectly legal by the way). And that showed me something very important. It showed me these people are, at least a little bit, ashamed of themselves and ashamed of what they’re doing. Why else wouldn’t you want to be recorded? You’re already making a public spectacle of yourself, but all of a sudden you’re upset when someone else turns the tables?
And then she threatens to call the cops on me (more on this later). And for what? For standing on a public sidewalk and verbalizing an opposing viewpoint. I was never threatening and I never used foul language. I did nothing wrong and I was well within my rights to be there. She thinks her First Amendment rights should be upheld because she is on “God’s side,” but mine should be squashed because I’m of a different opinion.
Look, I’m not pigeonholing all pro life people. I know plenty of people and have dear friends and family who are pro life. Ardent pro lifers actually. And while I disagree with them wholeheartedly, I respect their opinions.
But I do not respect any person who stands outside a clinic and harasses women when they are at their most vulnerable and frightened. This is a perfectly legal medical procedure. It’s unfortunate, but necessary. And furthermore, none of these religious nutjobs have the right to control what another woman does with her body. And because they lack that power, they turn into bullies who pick on the weak and try to guilt them in despicable fashion.
And I realized today that no one really stands up to these people. When I approached them today they had no idea how to react. I’m sure they’ve had some run-ins before, but for the most part people are afraid of the protesters. And they capitalize on that fear.
Not yesterday.
Yesterday I discovered just how cowardly these people really are. They didn’t respond to a single one of my arguments. They had no salient points and could only fall back on their rehearsed rhetoric. They could be volunteering in the schools or youth programs to try to fix the problem of teenage pregnancy at it’s core. But they aren’t. Instead they take the coward’s way out, picketing and putting on a shameful public display that, in the end, accomplishes nothing.
That woman held a sign that said “99 babies saved.” But I wonder, how does she know that? I assume she’s saying 99 women have changed their minds or been scared away by protesters. But these protesters have no idea what happened to those babies. Maybe they went back to the clinic on another day. Or maybe they were born. Born into families that didn’t want them, and only had them because some woman called her a “baby killer” after she had finally worked up the nerve to make the right decision for her.
I know the protesters are very religious because they were holding pictures of Jesus and they had a sign that said “God is Pro-Life.” First of all, I don’t know about any of you but I won’t even put words in my wife’s mouth. Yet these people picketing on street corners are speaking for God??? Even if I believed in God I certainly don’t buy the fact that a supreme being would pick such lousy representatives to spread his word.
So in making the educated guess these religious protesters lean right politically, that means they are probably fiscally conservative. Mention the welfare program to these guys and they nearly have a heart attack. Which is hilarious because the only way some of these moms-to-be can make it with a kid is to sign up for taxpayer-subsidized social assistance programs. So that means the same people who protest to bring these children into the world are the first ones to cut them off at the knees in terms of care.
Or in other words, these protesters don’t give a shit about these babies once they’re born.
I’m not sure if nutjob lady protester actually called the cops after I left, but there was a squad car there later in the afternoon. They never questioned me or anything, but the protesters all packed up and left shortly after the cop’s arrival. But the fact remains I had every right in the world (as do they) for being there and there was nothing they could’ve done to shut me up. I can’t prove they called the cops because of me and I don’t know why they decided to leave. But MJ (who is doing well and recovering now) told me she was proud of me for standing up to them. And for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely happy.
So if you’re against abortion, that’s cool. Don’t have one. But when you decide to protest and scare people and make total strangers feel horrible, then you become trash. Human garbage. Excrement. And it’s my sincere hope that more people will stand up to these bullies in a non-violent manner and let them know what they’re doing is not OK.
Brilliant. I wish more people do what you did.
I work at one of these health centers and not only do they harass women entering for basic preventive health (“Pap Smears are the gateway to abortion” — I kid you not), but they harass the workers. We’ve had acid thrown at our clinic, nails in the parking lot to pop tires, trespassing, bomb threats, you name it.
They can’t answer your question about volunteering, etc, because *saving babies isn’t the reason they’re there*. They’re there to control women. Pure and simple. They think that women have a narrow role in the world and women who are in control of their own reproduction are not having babies for god and are not serving men the way they’re ‘supposed to.’ So once everyone realizes it isn’t about babies at all, we’ll all be better off.
So thanks so much for putting this out there. They definitely hate being recorded, even though recording and editing is their current tool of choice of for their misinformation campaign.
Incidentally, the pictures of dead fetuses that were ‘abortions’ they hold up? They’re not. They’re late term miscarriages. Ask yourself where those pictures came from. Do you think doctors photograph their abortions and then put them on the Internet? Obviously no. It’s fun with Photoshop and taking a few…liberties…with medical journals.
I want to say well done for standing up to these people, but it’s a shame that anyone would have to congratulate a person for doing what should be the norm. These people, and I don’t for a second means all Christians, these…Scum, make it so that it becomes the norm to think in such a closed mind, hypocritical way. That the word of “God” is law, and anyone else is evil, that aborting would be murder, but walking into a clinic and shooting up the place would be a holy act. They take books written by men, Interpreted by other men and judge all others by them. They will ignore the same rules they will judge us by, for them such rules are simply for thoughts not in the right hand of the almighty.
I Won’t call them retards, even if the word these days has shed most of its links with references to mental handicaps, it is simply not a strong enough word to describe these people.
Monsters seems more apt.
I’m sorry you had to experience this, I’m sorry anyone has too, to have to experience loss mixed with thoughts of “what if…” must be the darkest of darknesses. I’m some what happy we don’t get this as much in the UK, such people are considered (rightfully so) to be aberrations from the norms of both religion and humanity and are (most of the time I hope) cast aside and mocked accordingly.
Mind, here is a useful tip, ask them, where exactly in the good book (yes I have read it, Catholic up bringing and such) does it say, In the word of God or the Christ, That an abortion is Murder?
It doesn’t, any reference to it is that of “wise” men. People who use the Word of god as if it was a weapon, to beat there sheep into line.
As I said. Monsters.
Sir, you are one of the bravest, most awesome fellows I have ever had the pleasure of coming across on the net. Abortion is a terribly sad and hard thing to go through, and NOBODY WANTS to do it. I have NO respect for these disgusting, oppressive, anti-woman, anti-family slimeballs like the ones you confronted. They don’t care about women, children, or even fetuses in the slightest or they wouldn’t do stuff like that. No, it’s only about feeling elite and better than you. Your wife is a super lucky woman to have you.
My deepest sympathy for you and your wife in this difficult time. I am relieved to know that she was allowed to have the care she needed for her, you, and your little ones. I will keep fighting to make sure she continues to get that care. Best of luck and well wishes to you and yours.
Would it be murder to kill a person who is dying of cancer, who will die in a month? In a week? If some gunman broke in your house and your mother has a month to live if she has cancer, and the gunman shoots her in the head and kills her, would that be murder or wouldn’t it be? She was going to die in less than a month anyway, so why punish the gunman?
It doesn’t matter if the person being killed will die anyway. It’s MURDER any way you look at it.
Also, there is NO 10000% proof that child would have died after birth! Have you EVER heard of miracles???!!!
No-name
October 27, 2010 at 1:54 pm
A coward and an idiot to boot.
No Name have you heard of stupidity? You are a prime example! I had to go through this sort of thing with my daughter a couple of years ago and I must say I didn’t handle it nearly as well. Unfortunately the sign was flimsier than it looked. Sorry for your loss!
I don’t feel one bit sorry for those breeders. Had they have used birth control & other precautions, they wouldn’t have had to face anti-abortion crowds. Poor me…pour me a drink!
We need less abortion clinics & more special education classes for retarded breeders who can’t stop getting knocked-up!
Your wife is an incredibly lucky woman to have a husband like you.
abstinence is the only 100% way to make sure this does not happen. The left wingers love population control so much I am not sure of their reason for not adopting absitience. Oh, wait. I know. sex outside of marriage is a sin. That’s right. They love evil more than anything. Anything that’s considered bad, they love it.
Canada is a beautiful country, but is a country filled with arrogant communists and ditatorial fascists. There is plenty of extremism in canada – inside the government! There is no way in hell I could live in canada. I could not tolerate being around that many marxists. I would rather die free in America than live in your Karl marx hell. The worst thing Canada ever done was allow radical leftists marxists take over the country. That is happening in America but thanks to very few people in the media, American, through the tea party is waking up and throwing these sick perverts out. It would be even better if socialism could be made a felony in America and those cought trying it could be stripped of their citizenship and deported to the south pole. Maybe the tea party members can make it happen. I hope so. America has been on the decline since the late 1800s when that pesky freakshow nutjob Karl marx was born. They should have aborted him.
Captain patriot demonstrates his wealth of ignorance.
Learning from Satan: If killing children is learned from Satan, I guess this means this person was Satan’s student, too.
Abstinence: The pesky fact is that when Abstinence Only sex education is taught, the rates of teen pregnancy and STDs increase.
I would just like to say that I wish I could come to MA and buy you a beer!!!
I am very sorry to hear about your loss; no couple should ever have to go thru what the two of you went thru!!
Having said that…I don’t think I could have kept my cool with those ignorant women the way you did!!! And you made so many valid points on the video and in your blog. I wanna give you a round of applause and buy you that beer!!! Unfortunately, I’m in KC, so that’s not possible!!! But I had to send you my well wishes and let you know that I admire you for this!!!
GO PATS!!! Jen
Sorry to hear about your loss my man….you guys had a hard decision.
It’s a choice. That’s what the story is all about – the choice.
However, with 4 children of my own – I completely understand where you’re coming from…
That’s the beauty of the little story…not severed heads….not bloody fetuses….
C-H-O-I-C-E…
Take care and blessings…hope all is well with the family!
HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT CHOICES!
Also, why are you all saying “sorry for your loss”? It wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a human being, it was just a choice. You can’t be sorry for the loss of something that isn’t a human being or a life.
I’m so sorry you two had to go through that, but thank you for standing up to the bullies.
Captain Patriot, we Canadians are thrilled to hear that you will never live here.
You Wish: I love America, but Canada is straight up cool as hell. And might I add, Canadian women are just hot. Not sure if it’s the accent or what, but all the Canadian women I’ve met have just been so cute and awesome.
Canada: America’s hat!
As one Canadian woman who is married to another (and you’re right, she’s both cute and awesome), I thank you and welcome you to visit our country anytime.
I’m very sorry you and MJ had to go through that torment and I hope things will get better for you soon.
People like this need to be killed. Extreme? Perhaps, but doing something like this shows a lot about a person. It’s insolent and ignorant. You could even say people who do something like this are simpletons and incapable of learning. Those that only harm society like that should just be eliminated.I don’t mean elderly, sick,ect people but people who do stuff like this. But that’s another issue…. On a somewhat related note,I don’t understand why abortion is such a controversial issue. I mean, just don’t tell, don’t ask. Maybe that last part was just me voicing my opinion…..
Omega: Calling for the death of the protesters is way out of line and ridiculous. While agree yelling horrible things at strangers is despicable and reveals a lot about the (lack of) character one possesses, it is not enough to call for violence.
And your DADT policy about abortion is something else I disagree with. Abortions are not fun and no one is proud of them, but it is a perfectly legal medical procedure and nothing to be ashamed of. DADT implies there is some dirty little secret that must be covered up, and I don’t think that’s the case.
“Love thy brother.” Do these people honestly think they’re following a creed like that when they’re shaming people on what could be the worst day of their life? Really? Talk about multiple levels of hypocrisy. People like this make me sick (not all pro-lifers, just people like these). I wouldn’t try to tell them what to do with their bodies; what makes them think they have the right to do that to any other woman? Especially using such an underhanded method like guilting them into doing exactly what they want. It’s shameful.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Daddy Files. This whole story is just incredible, and your courage (as well as your wife’s) is really inspiring.
Sorry for your loss. It has to be tough to have no other real options and then have people misjudge you and bully you. They need to mind their own business. It’s not fair to bring a bunch of sick or unwanted children into the world, it’s much worse than abortion. I always want to ask them how many unwanted babies they all adopted.
I served in a clinic escort group of older professional women for 4 years. I did everything possible to educate the picketers who were largely the same persons, with some others added and subtracted every day. Some were gang members who had recently been released from prison. At one point a picketer threatened one of the escorts with a handgun. The city police were there often and the press even came sometimes to gawk and get a line or two for the evening news.
I even went to one particular church that was sending picketers out to the clinic and spoke to the available priest about it.
From the few sentences he uttered, I was able to see that he was the one who provided the exact wording the picketers used in their arguments.
We wrote letters to the police department of the city and attended meetings they held about their crowd control challenges the picketers raised. None of that effort stopped or discouraged the picketers.
I assume that all of you have heard and seen news about the murders of abortion providers and horrible injuries of some of their staff members over the many years that this slander against pregnant women has prospered among persons who are actually mentally disordered.
A nation that crosses oceans with modern weapons of mass destruction to murder the innocent adults and children of other nations is not going to worry about a few local women and physicians being shot, burned and killed at the command of insane persons in their own country.
As for the crazy picketers, they seem to be getting away with their hateful lies.
You sir, are brave, and awesome.
That is all I can say.
You sir – are my hero.
I wish more people would realize that abortion is just as valid a loss as a miscarriage, still birth or death of a birthed child. It’s a loss and it’s horrible, gut wrenching and guilt provoking.
I now understand why Planned Parenthood moved in my city. It’s now in a secure building with screens so no one can see the people going in and out.
I’m going to look into what I can do to help, either the people going through this or the root cause. No one should be harassed. Period. The fact that they did this to your family at such a vulnerable time makes it even more despicable.
My views on the subject are summed up at the end of this post. I don’t know if I could ever have an abortion but there is no way I would ever stand in someone’s way. Heck, if I were confronted with your family’s situation I don’t know what I would do. I’ve never been there.
I don’t know where I could best contribute but you’ve inspired me to action. Thank you.
Thank you for telling these people that what they are doing is abominable. I wish you and your wife never had to go through such a terrible experience, and I commend you both for being so strong. I am a student at the University of Washington, and last spring there was an enormous display at Red Square of aborted fetuses, various fetus body parts, and all sorts of awful pictures, out in public sight, about 20 feet tall and 75 feet long. It is awful having to see such things, and though I do not know anyone who has had an abortion, I can imagine that it is one of the last things you would want to see. Thank you for taking a stand against people who spew out rehearsed opinions, and who make those in difficult situations feel ashamed and guilty for trying to make the best choice for their child and themselves.
Along with the previous post, I’ve seen the same display at the University of Louisville. Unfortunately, the signs are carried around the country in a semi as an ongoing display. The anti-choice movement funds this, as well as several other nasty attempts to prevent legal medical services for women. In my town, they have started an ironically named “Woman’s Choice Clinic” directly across the street from the only legit clinic for hundreds of miles. With large signage and coaxing from protesters, women (esp for non-English speakers)are fooled into going into this place thinking that is where their appt. is. It’s only through intense force of will that they can eventually leave. Thankfully, a group of clinic escorts is typically present to help people get through this nonsense. Thank you, author, for publishing this. You are not the only person I’ve heard give the protesters a piece of your mind, but it certainly was one of the most cogent, calm responses. At our clinic, most people are not willing to come outside once they enter, but then again, there are typically a dozen or more protesters as well. Thanks again for highlighting this persistent problem for women in our country.
-Andrea, if you’re wondering, escorting is perhaps the most satisfying and most direct way to get involved.
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To add to Dave’s comment from 11-11-10 (I just found this site!) I am an RN who worked for several years at the clinic in Louisville. The ‘Women’s Choice Clinic’ across the street has so many tactics to make women miss their appointments at the real clinic. They tell them they are part of the clinic and they are to have their ultrasoun with them. The women are escorted over there where they project the ultrasound on the wall with sound and have told some of them that they are further along in gestation and therefore cost more and the woman doesnt have the increased fee. Some women have been told they were too far along to have the procedure when they really arent that far along. Our clinic uses general anesthetic. The ‘fake’ clinic also feed the women knowing that feeding them would delay her having her procedure that day in many cases. Many of these women come from hours away as we are the only licesened clinic in the state and surrounding border states. The stories are endless. The escorts are great in helping to tell the women the ‘fake’ clinic is NOT associated with the ‘real’ clinic. Thank you escorts!!!!
I am sorry that your family had to go through this experience, but as a clinic escort and as a child of a mother who had a similar experience, I can only say:
Thank you, sir.
Your strength and determination are a wonderful thing, and your wife must be the luckiest woman in the world to have such a caring husband. More than that, a caring husband who so obviously believes she is still a free individual. Thank you so much for being so courageous and so understanding!
Your post is incredible, can’t wait for more posts
busy do niemczech
Thank you for standing up to these “protesters”.
They are really doing that so that they can take babies away from their mothers “for adoption” but they know that what they are doing is wrong and they are stealing. Plus they are pushy, aggressive, and violent. I’ve been learning to be nonviolent all of my life and the only thing I get for that is stepped on. And I KNOW this is all a scheme so that they can take babies away – two of my Aunts are of them and I’m ashamed of those Aunts. And just so you know that their alterior motive is their personal gain – think of the evidence. They all oppose contraception(the pill, the condom, ect.), they oppose sex education, they oppose forms of birth control like viasectomy and hysterectomy and sterilization, they voted to allow rape and incest, they don’t allow abortion for girls under certain ages without parental consent(and by the way, at the ages those girls are the abortions are far safer than the pregnancies are), they solicit every young pregnant girl to “give” her baby for “adoption”, their church is a place for child molesters, and I bet you didn’t know they also plan on allowing child abuse. Many pastors and so-called adoptive “parents” are child abusers. And on top of that they murder caring abortion providers.
I’m deeply sorry for you two that you had a difficult pregnancy, but then I’m touched that you both made the right decision and that you stood up against those aggressive harrassers for your wife. Most men are busy beating up their wives and yelling at their wives but you are standing up for your wife against selfish aggressors. Thank you:)
I’ve never been much of a political person, but protesters really do amaze me sometimes with there methods. My university was over run with people protesting all sorts of things this previous fall semester, but I have to say that the WORST batch of them was a group of pro-lifers who set up a giant billboard in the busiest part of campus which was compared abortion to the holocaust. They basically said that fetuses being aborted had no choice just like the jews had no choice. The pictures on that billboard were quite graphic as well, and all I could think about was the fact that my school often hosts scholastic events for children of all ages who would be subjected to these images…