Adventures in Idiocy

It’s been awhile since I bitched and moaned about some of the moms on my parenting message boards. So without further delay, I give you the recent debate regarding whether men, particularly gay men, should be allowed to babysit little girls and vice versa women for little boys. I shit you not…

Basically, one of the moms said she was scrambling for a sitter but thankfully one of her good friends volunteered. He’s trustworthy and nice…but gay. And her husband was OK with him watching their daughter but only because he was gay. He said he would never let a straight man watch his daughter, nor would he let a straight woman watch their son, if they had one.

The original poster herself is asking a decent question and trying to enlist some help. I don’t have any problem with her, although I think her husband is a complete idiot. But what’s worse than his bigoted stance on babysitters is some of the responses. Check it out:

“I would never let a man babysit my daughter. I would also never let a gay individual watch my children as I disagree with that lifestyle.”

“No, I would not let any man baby sit my kids aside from my husband.  I know that most men are awesome and wouldn’t do anything, but it just isn’t a risk I am willing to take. My husband loves kids, his kids, but he says “normal” men don’t like hanging ut with other people’s kids.”

“God does not hate homosexuals, fornicators, or adulters but he hates what they do. I don’t think she was out of line saying she wouldn’t let a homosexual watch her kid, I wouldn’t either. The same as I wouldn’t let a smoker, alchoholuc or anyone who’s lifestyle I don’t agree with. We all are responsible for raising our kids the way we see fit. How could you teach your child that homosexuality is wrong and yet still let them babysit your kids, it’s sending mixed messages.”

“I dont think I would let a man watch my daughter and I’m not sure about any future son’s. Even my brother or close male friends-anyone could do something and men seem to be likely culprits (I know women do too, but its less likely.) I just feel that you cant be too careful.”

“I personally only let my husband, Dad and my brother in law watches them WITH my sister once in a while. Other then that no. I am not comfortable with it. Not in this day in age. I am okay with it as long as a female is with them and it’s someone I completely trust. Other then that NO.”

“I believe that homosexuality is immoral, just as thievery.”

There’s more but it really goes downhill from there. I just couldn’t believe some of the crap I was reading.

First of all, let’s tackle the whole males babysitting girls and females babysitting boys. What the hell does gender matter? If you know the person and you trust the person enough to watch your kids, then that’s all that matters. Period. End of story. What if you have a daughter and a son? Are you going to hire a male babysitter AND a female babysitter for the same night? It’s fricking lunacy.

And then there’s the assumption that men are nothing but perverted child molesters who can’t be trusted to watch children. What the hell is that all about? As if women never have been found to abuse children. Nope, instead it’s all the men. Because that’s an intelligent line of thinking. Dads have a hard enough time overcoming all the stereotypes and prejudices that are already out there. We don’t need this too.

But nothing upsets me more than the hatred toward gays. It’s like these fundamentalist Christian wackjobs believe that homosexuality is contagious. And if the queers start babysitting, all the kids are going to catch the gayness. I wonder if these same parents discriminate in other ways as well. Do they have a problem with blacks and hispanics? What about pagans? Or redheads? Do all babysitters have to have a morality background check performed to make sure they match up with all of the parents’ values? Because God forbid these people subject their children to some diversity. That would be pretty horrible right? Imagine, people with different beliefs and points of view? The horror!

I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But the difference is their opinions discriminate against a whole segment of the population whereas mine are live and let live. And what’s really scary is how these kids are going to turn out if they’re surrounded by the same discriminatory and bigoted people all the time. They’ll probably end up being homeschooled too. Anything to ensure differing points of views are kept out.

It’s just sad.

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13 thoughts on “Adventures in Idiocy

  1. You know, I was with you 100% until you made the homeschooling comment. Isn’t that a discriminatory stereotype, too?

    I was homeschooled, and not because my parents wanted to shelter my sisters and I from alternate views and beliefs. My parents, who are not bigots, by the way, felt that they could provide a better learning environment. Choices like that are not always driven by religious or bigoted people, although most of the time you hear of kids being homeschooled, they come from an uber-religious family. And so what if they are? There is nothing wrong about parents who want to better provide for their children, even if those parents are considered by some to be “bigots”.

    I know you’re just upset about this, and you probably didn’t set out to offend people with this post. I’m not upset, I’m just giving you my point of view.

  2. Good point Badass. I generalized with the homeschooled comment. It doesn’t matter that I aimed it at a specific group of people, because not all homeschooled kids are religious. I’m very much against homeschooling for a variety of reasons, but that’s a whole separate post. And obviously it works in some cases because you’re living proof of that.

    My point was that the people in that conversation seemed to want to shelter their kids from any other point of view at all costs and I think that’s rotten. And while some may homeschool their kids because the public school system is crap and they think they can provide better, the people on the parenting board want to seclude themselves from diversity and all other points of view. And I don’t EVER think that’s a good thing.

  3. Oh, man, Aaron, here you go again! I love you so…

    Well, to fire me up, you just have to talk about such incredibly ignorant ways of thinking. First up, my gay friends are some of my son’s favorite people on the planet. Why? Because they sing crazy songs to him and act out stories better than any straight person ever could. I’d leave him with them in one second flat and know that there is nothing to worry about. Being gay DOES NOT make you a child molester. Two totally different animals, people.

    People who prey on children are usually living the “straight life” but have been molested in their past. Throw your shit at homosexuals while you hide behind your religious shield, and let me point out the “men of God” who actually did prey on children over and over and over and had it covered up by the holiest of the holy. You’d be better off to worry about the coaches and the teachers and the janitors at school that everyone seems to trust without ever a thought, than to worry about homosexuals. Preditors surround themselves with children, whether they are straight, gay, black or white. Most homosexuals aren’t hanging out at Chuck-E-Cheese, I guarantee you.

    As for the thoughts that even straight men and women shouldn’t watch a child of the opposite sex, I don’t even have words to point out the insanity of that. So, my husband shouldn’t be allowed to watch my niece for a couple hours or I shouldn’t be left alone with my neighbor’s sons or my toddler nephew? Get a grip on reality. Of course you don’t leave your kids with just any person who will watch them, and I think we all have a sense of which “uncle” or friend of a friend shouldn’t be left alone with the children.

    Thanks, Aaron. I needed to get a good rant out!

  4. I think you should check out the punkymoms.com forums. I’m having my first monster in May, so a few months ago I decided to look around for an online mom community to relate to and get involved with. This is the only forum I could find that didn’t piss me off. And holy shit, you can be crass and blunt and it offends NO ONE! Some stuff on there I don’t agree with, but people aren’t stupid or disrespectful. Plus there are dads that post on there too. You might like it, and as I’ve been reading your blog for a little while (after seeing something about it in CCT during the summer) I think you might like those ladies too.

  5. I would say something, but the last time I commented one of the Moms freaked out and chastised me openly on this blog.

    Personally, I think that kids should be subjected to all people. Gay, Straight, Black, White, Brown, Yellow, Purple, Male, Female etc.

    Was that OK? I hope so. I don’t want to be yelled at again! :) Most of those women over there are nuts!!!

  6. Ugh, some people make me so angry. I would leave a group like that asap, what a waste of mental energy. It’s so sad that so many people are raising their kids with prejudices like that.
    I will admit that I am wary of leaving my kids with ANYONE aside from my husband but that’s because my brother-in-law is a convicted pedophile and I was abused as a child. Those kinds of things tend to make you a little paranoid.

  7. Everyone should be looking for suspicious behaviors around their children, even people you “trust”. The problem isn’t gay, straight, fat, thin, purple, polka dotted, male, female…it’s the corrupt.

    I wish people would just let all judgements go…I don’t know if it’s nature or nurture that makes us that way-or if judgement is just an answer for something we don’t understand. Possibly, the worst quality or flaw, whichever you deem it to be, is someone who is judging someone’s intention by their choice in soups, partners, television shows, ways of schooling, breastfed or bottle fed, sleep separate or cosleep.

    I can’t say that I don’t judge, but I certainly try hard. If I find that I have offended someone after judging, I evaluate my thinking…and usually end up where I started. I know this is rambling but I just had to get that thought out.

    :) Hope Will is doing well!

  8. Oh. My. God.

    The teacher for Gabriel’s classroom at preschool is male, and I’m SO grateful for that. I feel like young children very often are lacking a male influence in regards to caretaking roles.

  9. Trying to protect our children from pedophiles is an effort in futility. How do you protect them from people that are released from prison on a disgustingly regular basis? All we can do is use good judgment and most importantly, make sure you educate your children about such people and make sure they feel comfortable talking to you in the event that someone touches them inappropriately. Most pedophiles push the impropriety envelope first. If no one confronts them they push it further. If your children have been taught to come to you at the first incident AND you use good sense about who is around them, you lower the chances of that ever happening.

    Some people think if they only allow family members around their kids that they’ll be ok. It is overwhelmingly family members or close friends who molest children. It’s rarely the creepy guy down the street with the crippled dog. It would actually be easier if it were always strangers. It’s soooo much harder to pull the trigger when it’s someone you know.

  10. I read your blog all the time and usually don’t comment. Now I just had to say….some people are seriously ignorant. Thats about the only way you can explain those point of views.

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