An Admission: I Cheated on My Wife

Usually it’s fun sharing personal moments with you on these pages. However, when I started this website I promised honesty. A raw, unfiltered look at parenting and marriage. So because it would be more than a little hypocritical of me not to address when I’ve made a terrible mistake, I’m owning up here.

I cheated on my wife.

I know it sounds cliche, but I didn’t set out to cheat. It just kind of happened. Marriage and parenting is a tough journey and somewhere along the line MJ and I just got…disconnected. I’m not making excuses for what I did, but let me describe the situation and you can honestly tell me if you think it looks familiar.

I’m a guy who likes certain things and let’s just say, without being too descriptive, alone time with MJ is one of them. I need it to feel close with her and to keep me sane. And when I go long periods without it, I…well, I take matters into my own hands.

I don’t want to get the gender police after me but seriously, what’s a red-blooded American male supposed to do?? I can’t sit there with overwhelming wants and needs with a wife who goes to bed at 9 pm and live like that forever. It just doesn’t work and honestly, I think it’s a little selfish of her to expect that it would.

The part that’s my fault is vowing I’d always be faithful no matter what. It’s easy to agree to that in the beginning when everything is new and you’re both super into it and you’re literally binging with one another. But eventually seasons pass and one person inevitably loses that drive, while the other wants more. Needs more. What then? What do you do when you’ve promised to only do it with one person, but then that person won’t make time for you?

It started with MJ and I getting into something a little kinky and weird. We were introduced to these women who are kind of naughty yet sexy, and they don’t get a lot of male attention because, well, they’re in prison. But even though MJ no longer wanted to make it a priority, she asked me to wait for her because she didn’t want me partaking without her. I agreed, but how is that fair???

So one night after she went to bed early and I was still up, I went ahead without her. I knew it was wrong, but if I’m being honest that kind of added to the excitement. Once I thought I heard her coming downstairs so I paused what I was doing and froze. If she had found me she would’ve KILLED me, but it turned out to be nothing so I kept going.

And I couldn’t stop.

Soon I was cheating on her with everyone and my cravings were feral and all over the map. I cheated on her with a wealthy family that had fallen on hard times, a professional football player with a checkered past, and even an undead woman with an appetite for human flesh. I was a maniac and I couldn’t stop, yet I had to fake being entertained with MJ on the rare occasions she did find herself in the mood.

Eventually the lying became too much and she smelled the guilt on me. When she confronted me and asked if I’d been unfaithful, I didn’t bother denying it. I just begged for her forgiveness and pleaded with her to give me a second chance.

I’m not sure how it will all work out and I’m trying to be better. But the urge to give in and have everything I desire all at once is so powerful. And I know for a fact I’m not alone in my infidelity, as 46% of couples fall victim as well.

So how about it, folks? Do you Netflix cheat on your significant other??

I was compensated with a free year of Netflix and an iPad for writing this post, but all opinions are my own.

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7 thoughts on “An Admission: I Cheated on My Wife

  1. This is fucking hilarious. I was thinking what an asshole. Cheating on his wife. I only figured it out when I reached the “Soon I was cheating on her with everyone and my cravings were feral and all over the map. I cheated on her with a wealthy family that had fallen on hard times, a professional football player with a checkered past, and even an undead woman with an appetite for human flesh. I was a maniac and I couldn’t stop, yet I had to fake being entertained with MJ on the rare occasions she did find herself in the mood.”

    Well done, you have made my day.

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