BabyCenter is the Devil

This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

If you’re a new parent, no doubt the first place you went was Babycenter.com.

It makes sense, everyone goes there. It’s the most well-known baby related web site out there. You can gather tons of information, but the thing people use most are the bulletin boards. You can join up with other parents who are having children at the same time and talk with them.

On paper it’s a fantastic idea. A virtual gathering place for parents, and expectant parents, to exchange ideas and information in real time. And for a while I joined in because I wanted all the information I could get concerning my wife (when she was pregnant) and my son. For awhile it went well. I was a bit of a novelty on the board because 99 percent of the users are mothers. For a while I lurked and just soaked in the information I needed. But even then I noticed a lot of posts that were just…well, crazy.

And when I finally starting posting on a regular basis, I could tell I was rubbing a few people the wrong way. But I’m used to that. I have an acerbic personality and I’m very opinionated. But this was different. I could tell a few people were simply unhappy that a man had the audacity to post his opinions about topics normally reserved for women. But thankfully I live in a free country and there’s no rule against it, so I persisted.

Let’s forget the fact that many of the site’s users are know-it-all mommies with superiority complexes. I’m married, I’m used to being talked down to. But there are a few things I just couldn’t stand anymore, and they all culminated tonight and caused me to quit the site for good. Here’s what to expect when you’re expecting on BabyCenter:

1) Acronyms. They are EVERYWHERE and they are STUPID. DH=Dear Husband. DD and DS=Dear Son & Daughter. SAHM=Stay At Home Mom. BF=BreastFed. MIL=Mother in Law. DTD=Doing the Deed. On and on they go, each one more ridiculous than the next. I got so sick and tired of some of these moronic mommies being too lazy to type out the words. Trivial? Maybe, but it’s still annoying.

2) Advice. It doesn’t matter if you ask for it or not, because you’re going to get it. They each think they have the best methods in the world for parenting and they’re not shy about sharing it with you.

3) No sense of humor. Too many of them just couldn’t identify sarcasm. And not to toot my own horn, but I’m a good writer and I said some things that just couldn’t have been taken in any other context aside from joking around. Yet the crazies continually called me on the carpet for these things despite my assurances that it was indeed sarcasm. I can’t stand unfunny people and some of these moms were just way too uptight for their own good.

4) Anti-Male Sentiment. Right from the get-go there were people on the site who just didn’t want a guy commenting on certain topics. But I’m sorry, I join in whatever discussion I want. And I think I have a right to join in the fray about J-Lo’s post-baby body. Just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean I have my opinions stripped from me. And I made a joke about all the other women posting their own bikini shots for comparison sake. A ridiculously over-the-top joke. But did they take it that way? Nope. I was called “creepy” and “ridiculous” and they thought I was some kind of stalker. Just because I collect bikini pictures of strangers, all of a sudden that makes me a stalker? Geez. See? Sarcasm. I would’ve had to explain that to them.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually met a lot of nice people on there. And maybe the Moron Mommies (I’m coining that phrase right now, it’s mine!) are the vocal minority. But it was just too much. Too much preachiness, too much prudishness and too much estrogen. Hell, even my wife refuses to go on there because she said she couldn’t stand the attitudes of lots of the people posting things. I’m going to make it my mission to start a Male BabyCenter web site where guys can feel free to talk about whatever the hell they want. But the beauty of that site would be no one would say anything except baseball talk and how big their kid’s dump was.

Because guys are simple creatures, I just didn’t realize how blissfully simple until I ran into the Moron Mommies Buzzsaw! Needless to say I’d recommend getting the information you need from BabyCenter and staying far away from the message boards.

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20 thoughts on “BabyCenter is the Devil

  1. If the site sucks so much, why waste so much time b*tching about it? By leaving you are just giving those you hate exactly what they want.

    For the record though, I enjoyed your posts.

  2. I also frequent Babycenter.com and I think you shoudl KEEP posting! So what if they don’t agree with you! You think we’re crazy anyway! ;)

    But it’s refreshing when the dads come on there and give a dad prospective! Who cares what they tell you…most of these moms posting to disagree with you are disagreeing out of total insecurity of their own parenting skills anyway…I go on there to get general averages for heights and sizes, and developmental issues such as David’s inattentive behaviors. The key is to filter out what is good advice and what is not, and the opinion of that is YOURS and thats what makes YOU the parent…YOU make the decisions!

    Also may I remind you, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus…they’re not supposed to agree with you…

  3. Nickie, I didn’t waste time bitching about them. That post took me about 8 minutes to write. But thanks for saying you liked my posts. I appreciate it.

    Meri, it’s just not worth the hassle. Besides, I left the web address for this blog so if anyone feels like reading my blathering they can. You can only bang your head against a wall so many times…

  4. “I got so sick and tired of some of these moronic mommies being too lazy to type out the words.”

    do you travel the information super highway often? you get acronyms everywhere, the net and in real life. Maybe they are just annoying because they are too far over your head? Doctors, lawyers, military, gamers, and internet folks of all kind use them. You will not escape these unless of course you stick your fingers in your ears and keep your eyes closed the rest of your life. IMHO it’s a rather pathetic thing to even whine over, the only thing that is more pathetic is me pointing it out!

  5. Aw, Jerry (and yes, I know that isn’t your real name…but I am an Apr 08 mommy, lol) I will miss you on the board. I haven’t been there today, so I missed the fray, I just frequent your blog, so I saw this. Who’s the stalker now:-)?
    Don’t let the biddies get to you, everyone thinks they know best and the annoynimity of the message boards allows them to say things that (I hope) they would never have the stones to say in real life.
    Your perspective was appreciated, and your posts enjoyed. Take care:-)

  6. awwwhhh…
    I will miss you. I always found you funny. You are amusing, like my DH (hehe). And I thought it was sweet that you were so involved. I will freqent your blog to enjoy your witty take on being a dad. Good luck to you and your precious baby!

  7. I am sorry to see you go Jerry(Well, real name Aaron right?). I always enjoyed your posts and I did think that you had some great advice coming from the male perspective. By the way, my husband LOVES your blog. I read this to him often and he has offically started calling sex – “Sandwiches”. :)

    So there are people that will miss you on babycenter! We will just have to pop over here to visit and here how you and MJ are doing!!

  8. Well, SEEEEEE! :-P I feel like saying “neener, neener, nnneeeeener!!!”

    As a writer, YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, you win some you lose some!:)

  9. To all those who have written in with supportive posts, thank you very much. I’m actually very touched and humbled, and more appreciative than you know. Thank you and you guys are the people I’ll miss. I truly hope you continue coming to this blog from time to time.

    And to Sam, I really LOL at your acronym comment. IMO ur def right. Acronyms are just WOMY (way over my head). I’m obviously TDTGI (too dumb to get it), KWIM (know what I mean)?

    Because, you know, these abbreviations are just so super complex that they boggle the mind. (Hint: this is sarcasm again. Acronyms are not complex and you sound dumb saying so).

  10. As a women I could not agree with you more on your take about some of the women who post on the “Birth Boards”.
    Too many cat fights and petty nonsense going on there.It tends to get “clickish” and some of those women think they own the board. They are quick to talk down to other moms and very judgemental.
    I honestly can not remember anything posted by you. I tend to not even look at the posters names anymore. I think you should still post there just to throw a wrench in the click they have going on. Better yet try to become a moderator that would really run off those who think they own the board.

  11. Come on Jerry! A lot of us enjoyed a different perspective on BC even if we didn’t always agree. Come back! I’m not the most loved person there either, but so what. Ignore the self-righteous uptight folks and keep posting. I do and those who hate can kiss my arse!

  12. Awww Jerry – come back to BBC and play. Not everyone is so uptight and bitchy! Join the Dramma Mommas :P

  13. Hahaha, ML you disagreed with me more than we agreed, but you were fun to argue with because you don’t take yourself so seriously. And I don’t know how you and others like you stay on there without losing your minds. But it’s a little different for me because I’m a guy. I don’t care about disagreeing with people and that’s not why I left. I just felt there was an intrinsic hatred that stems from having a guy present. As if I was some sort of spy gathering intelligence. And really it just wasn’t worth the hassle. I’ll just argue with people on here now! =)

  14. I too have an April baby. I have gone to babycenter for all three pregnancies and no matter what the board or year have found it to be the same. I am sorry you had a bad experiance, in the end it was the same reason I stopped going. good luck with your son and if you start a Daddy Baby Center, I may just go there and lurk!I did enjoy your posts by the way!

  15. You should come to the April 2008 board on whattoexpect.com, we are awesome, and there are lots of other Daddies, they have a “dad’s corner” too, but we love our Dad’s and their POV ;-).

  16. You remind me of my husband.Glad you came to the April 08 message board on What to Expect.Your blog is fantastic. Keep it up!

  17. I’m an April BBC male too. I never post though. I joined because I wanted to better understand what my wife was facing and I’m an information junkie. I do find the message board to be an insular world where no matter how outrageous a person’s anger is it’s supported and even encouraged because they’re “mommies” it’s justified :eyeroll:. I’ve seen so many posts were I damn near fell out my seat in disbelief. I’ll miss you holding up the flag of maledom. Maybe I’ll screw up the courage to post. Maybe they’ll make me mom of the day one day!

  18. Sol, glad to hear there are other guys out there who feel the same way. I joined for the same reasons you did and it really is like a high school there. They are the cool kids and we are the new kid in town. They puff out their chests and get all territorial. It’s actually kind of funny.

    Bless you if you stay there, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

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