Bad Grandma

My mother was hoping I wouldn’t write about this, but it’s too good to pass up.

Last week my parents were nice enough to take me and Will out to lunch, and then drive us all the way back to the Cape. After a splendid meal at the Picadilly Pub, we packed Will and ourselves into the car and began the trek back home.

Now I know some of you won’t believe this, but I give my mom a lot of shit in the form of teasing and joking around. Or, as MJ terms it, I torture the hell out of her. But in a good way. Anyway, I was sitting in the passenger seat and I honestly can’t remember what I said to my mom, but I was being a wise-ass. And so, as is customary, she gave me a backhanded slap to the chest.

But as soon as she whacked me, a volcano of anger erupted from the backseat.


It was Will. And he was PISSED! I’m not kidding, he was furious at my mother for hitting me. Not only did he yell at her, he was staring daggers at her. If looks could kill she would’ve keeled over instantly and we all would’ve careened right off the highway.

Now you have to realize, Will is a total grandma’s boy. He is my mom’s little angel and they have this very strong and extremely tangible connection between them. Maybe that’s why she was so taken aback when he freaked out on her. Backpedaling furiously, she told him it was OK and that she was sorry for hitting me. And then she patted my head and said “See Will, it’s OK. I’m being gentle with Dadda.”

And then Will growled at her.

I shit you not, the boy was growling. A low, deep guttural growl like my dog when she senses danger. And every time my mother even looked at me, he would sneer at her and tell her “NO!” in no uncertain terms. It didn’t help that at that point I was flinching and saying “Owww” every time she got near me for effect.

It was friggin great!

Not for my mom, of course, who was in tears because she had fallen off her pedestal. But I was thoroughly enjoying the moment. And the best part was she couldn’t rough me up because my midget bodyguard in the carseat would’ve gone medieval on her ass.

I have to admit, I was proud of Will for sticking up for his old man. My boy might not even be 2 years old yet, but he’s already got my back.


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8 thoughts on “Bad Grandma

  1. Those are the things in life you cherish. Now if I can just get my girls to see what their mom does to me instead of always catching what I do to her… it would be GREAT! I’m still waiting for this moment. It must feel AWESOME!

  2. That is horrible and you are a wretched son for laughing while your mom was in tears. Promise me you’ll blog about whatever form of retaliation karma takes for this incident.

  3. Dang, Bella needs lessons…when we horse around and I get kicked, pinched or back-handed…she giggles and tells them to do it again…”Hit Daddy, Hit Daddy again!”

    Happy FF Friday!


  4. Tell your mom not to worry. It seems like your mom has with Will the same sort of relationship that my mom has with my oldest nephew. When he was little, she managed to close his foot in door of her minivan (gently – no permanent damage!) and now 6 years later, she is still his absolute favorite.

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