Bed rest? Noooooo!!

This post also appeared on in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

After a false alarm Thursday night, we had ANOTHER trip to the hospital on Friday afternoon. I’m already going bald, but at this rate the hair I don’t lose will be gray in no time!

The doctors were concerned with MJ’s high blood pressure and when she went to our doctor on Friday they had her taken to Cape Cod Hospital for precautionary measures and observation. Her BP had skyrocketed to 142/93, which is very high considering she’s been around 105/60 all through her pregnancy. She’s also been retaining water, as her poor feet look like they were stung by an army of angry bees.

Although they took some blood and hooked her up to the fetal monitor again, they sent her home after awhile because there wasn’t much else they could do. However, they told her two things that absolutely pissed her off…

1) She had to stop working
2) She needed to stay off her feet

A couple of things you need to know about my wife: She is incapable of sitting around doing nothing and she HATES to miss work. I knew right away I was going to have a hard time enforcing the doctor’s rules on her. Not only that, I realized immediately that any semblance of peace and tranquility I was hoping for before the baby’s arrival was now an afterthought.

Any woman gets cranky when she’s lugging around 35 extra pounds, has to pee every 10 minutes and has swollen feet so huge they couldn’t fit in Ronald McDonald’s sneakers. But when you take away work and all activity…that’s a recipe for disaster. Not to mention she’s a stubborn Portuguese woman who refuses to listen to me. In fact, at this moment she’s attending a baby fair at Gillette Stadium, but only after she was confirmed in a Catholic church in Taunton. So much for staying off her feet and resting.

And so much for my sanity. At the hospital I offered to get her a wheelchair and as she whirled around to glare at me I saw my own death in her eyes. When I advised her in the middle of the night to sleep on her left side like the doctor ordered, I’m pretty sure she threatened me with the loss of several body parts which are near and dear to my heart. But I will gladly sacrifice those body parts if it means she, and the baby, is safe.

Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.

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