Call DSS

Yesterday was not a particularly good day.

First of all, for any potential homebuyers out there let me just give one little piece of advice: Do not move into a condo. Just don’t do it. If you have to rent for 5 more years before you can purchase a single family house, then do it. Because dealing with condo associations is the worst possible thing on Earth. They are often run by self-important, power hungry little tyrants who have a tendency to misuse their positions. And when you get on their bad side for asking too many questions and possessing too much common sense, they go after you.

Three years ago MJ and I asked if we could pay our condo fees in the middle of the month instead of the beginning. Reason being, our payment schedules are in the middle of the month. They agreed and since then we’ve been paying in the middle of the month with no problem and no late fees. Then we switched accounting firms and the new people are the biggest idiots you can imagine. About 9 or 10 months ago they started trying to hit us with late fees and I’d call them each and every time and remind them about our arrangement. They’d always apologize and erase the late fee. Well now the Board is trying to tell us that we have $60 due in late fees. And more than that, they are going to turn the matter over to their attorney.

First of all, we don’t owe shit in late fees so they stick it where the sun don’t shine. Second, they are telling us we never had an arrangement, which goes up my ass sideways because that’s basically calling me a liar. Third, they’re going to involve a lawyer for $60??? It probably costs $200 just to get their lawyer involved!! What kind of sense does threatening us with legal action make, when we’re paying them each and every month like clockwork? These people are total idiots.

So between that and some mortgage troubles, things were weighing heavy on my mind yesterday. I picked Will up from my parent’s house as my Dad had the day off and was nice enough to watch him, but trouble began immediately after I started driving home.

Will was a demon. He didn’t just start to cry, he was wailing. He was screaming. He was crying so hard he was choking and hiccuping like the world was ending. I had tried to give him a bottle before we got in the car and he wanted nothing to do with it. So now I’m driving and I try to give him a toy. Nothing. Talk to him in a soothing voice. Nothing. This kept up for 35 minutes. Screaming, wailing, whining…nonstop.

Lack of patience is my biggest fault as a parent, and it’s something I struggle with everyday. So when he cries like that, I lose my ever-lovin’ mind. For more than half an hour I drove that car and talked in that stupid, high-pitched voice saying “It’s ok Will, daddy’s here. You’re ok buddy.” And finally, after 30 minutes of crazed screaming, I lost it.

“OH MY GOD SHUT UP, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR CHRISSAKES?!?!?!?!”

I meant to scream it in my head. But it came out at the top of my lungs.

There was a stunned pause from the backseat and for a split second I thought maybe tough love had won out. But then, like a tsunami building in the middle of the ocean, a scream rose up from Will’s throat that dwarfed anything I had heard in the last 30 minutes.

I immediately felt terrible. Luckily there was a rest area coming up so I pulled over and picked him up and calmed him down for about 10 minutes. He wasn’t hungry, his diaper was clean, he doesn’t have a fever and his top teeth haven’t come in yet. I’ll never know what made him cry for that prolonged amount of time. But I do know that it shouldn’t matter. Because I’m the adult and he’s the baby. And really he’s a good baby.

But the crying…it’s a real problem. Obviously I’d never hit him or become abusive or anything like that, but it makes me want to pull a Vincent van Gogh and cut my ears off just so I’ll never have to listen to it again. I know I need to be more patient but how do you learn that? How do you completely change your personality overnight?

Oh well, I guess every parent learns how to deal at some point. I’ll forever be learning. But the good news is Will is getting a good amount of hair on his head, and he even has eyebrows now. I was worried he’d be one of those hairless babies who doesn’t grow hair until they’re 7 or something. Kind of like MJ was as a kid (sorry babe, but it still cracks me up!).

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16 thoughts on “Call DSS

  1. It’s tough not to lose it sometimes when there’s all the crying and temper tantrum time. When that happens I just put my husband in the corner and let him cry it out.

  2. Thanks for the advice on the anti-condo thing. I worked maintenance for a group of coastline condo’s in southern Maine for a summer… The people on the Board were such royal assholes.

  3. Will was a perfect angel all day for Grandpa. Must be the company he was keeping on the way home! :)

  4. Oh Aaron…it happens to me too! Don’t you feel awful!!!??? Believe me, that won’t be the last time it happens. And as for the condo thing…man, I wish I could have warned you before you bought it. we got out of ours but not before we decided the whole arrangement just sucks. Good advice you gave…hold out for the house everyone! It’s worth it!

  5. Don’t worry, I’ve snapped at my kids a few times and gotten the “what the hell mom?” look. It’s tough not to let it get to you when it keeps on like that for so long.

    Sorry about the new condo association. We finally sold our townhouse two years ago but before that we were in living hell. The board was run by a bunch of nosy retired old biddies who had nothing to do but harass the homeowners. Now we’re in a NON deed restricted community and it’s the greatest thing ever!

  6. I have been a condo owner for 2 years now and I wish someone had warned me about the board members and management company being EVIL CULT MEMBERS. It is insane the B.S. I have been dealing with involving them and thier stupid rules and I think there is a lot of lying and stealing going on which really sucks. I even tried to get on the board of directors, but what a surprise, they did not want me. I am trying to play secret agent man during my free time and do some investigating regarding their lies and i am determined to bring them down. Okay, sorry for rambling…. sore subject. BUT DONT BUY A CONDO!!!! And as far as DSS goes, no need, you did not hit, you just lost your cool for a second and all is well.

  7. There is nothing that can make someone crazier than a screaming baby. I have totally lost it too, several times. My kids look at me like “what the heck is your problem?” Gotta love the state of oblivion they live in.

  8. Don’t worry you’re not alone.

    I felt that way yesterday when Danielle was screaming in her crib when I went into David’s room to help him put away his playdough as we rushes to go somewhere (I forget where now) and he was goofing around and then phone was ringing and I was still sore from surgery and he was just not listening and I said loudly “DON’T YOU HEAR YOUR SISTER SCREAMING AND YOUR GOOFING AROUND WHILE I AM PICKING UP YOUR STUPID PLAYDOUGH!!”

    I thought for a minute, “He doesn’t know stupid…he won’t notice…” Immediately after that thought he said “Mommy don’t say stupid, that’s not a nice word.”

    Preschool. I felt like sitting in the naughty chair.

  9. That scenario right there- the screaming baby while driving – scares me more than the thought of an unmedicated birth!

  10. My kids are grown but I remember having moments like that. That’s when I would turn up the radio and sing.

    I’ve never owned a condo, but my co-worker is currently experiencing similar crap. I hope things get better.

  11. I know exactly what you mean…I don’t think parents learn to deal with it, I just think kids get older and grow out of it! Of course that doesn’t really help much because you trade senseless wailing for disobedience.

  12. Condos are the devil. We owned one and thankfully got out before the radiator (yes, radiator) went out as there was no (yes, no) money in the reserve to replace it. Utter brilliance.

    And you know what? I have pretty good patience–my big son is autistic and I haven’t killed him yet, which should illustrate my patience level–and I’ll lose it when they don’t_shut_up_for_30_minutes. Patience can only get you so far when you’re human.

    When either of mine were screaming in the car, I’d turn on loud music. Which is safer than listening to the screams and subsequently crashing my car. They’re not deaf, either. Thankfully.

  13. To Meri – “stupid” is tame. I have often found myself wanting really badly to throw an “f bomb” out there. Now I have not actually done it, but I have said freakin a few times and always feel like I need to go to confession after.

    Aaron – sorry about the woes. As for Will, it won’t be your last time losing your cool. Just try your best to keep those moments few and far between and love to pieces as soon as you calm down and all will be OK.

  14. I am a new mother of a 6 month old (who seems to have a similar temperament and development schedule as your son which freaks me out a little) so I really enjoy reading your blog because I’m in it right then and there. This week my daughter has taken to these giant screaming fits out of no where and I believe that, actually, impatience is one of my most defined qualities so I don’t do particularly well with the inconsolable screaming. She cannot be calmed down for anything. And I nearly yelled at her yesterday. So I sympathize. And I hope that for both of our sakes, it is just a phase. (I’m actually thinking its something with the top 2 teeth…. )

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