Daycare Drama

Ready kiddos? Buckle up because this is nuts…

After receiving the call from my daycare provider’s husband (because she obviously doesn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do it herself), I went over there to gather Will’s things. Frankly I was planning on making a big stink but I chose not to because there are more important things.

I parked the car with Will in it in her driveway and made my way up to the deck. Her husband was there, she was not. I said hello and asked if everything was ready. He said yes so I grabbed it and started to head out without a word. That’s when she came around the corner with another one of the daycare kids. She asked me if I got their message about the additional money they wanted me to pay. I said yes, but that I wasn’t going to pay her a cent because she’s the one kicking Will out. And frankly, what parent is going to send their kid back to a place he/she is clearly not wanted?

At that point I decided to tell them about what’s going on with our baby. And then I said if they wanted to pile onto our nightmare by taking us to court, go right ahead. Neither of them said anything about the baby. Not a “I’m sorry to hear that” between them. So I grabbed Will’s stuff and said “Thanks for nothing” as I made my way back to the car.

No voices had been raised by either side at this point, which I thought was important because her own children and her daycare kids were outside with us. But as I was making my way to the car, she decided to heat things up.

“Yeah. And thank you for having such a charming child.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, blood boiling to unrecognizable levels. I turned around and just glared at her. That kicked off a heated argument during which she called my son “awful.” She called me and MJ “spoiled brats” and part of the “spoiled generation.” Then she told me I didn’t know what I was talking about because I’ve only been a parent for two years.

Now please keep in mind, she’s engaging me in this argument WHILE I WAS ALREADY WALKING AWAY not to mention IN FRONT OF SMALL CHILDREN. As if I really need to say any more. This paragon of professionalism didn’t even stop to put the kids in the house or spare them the scene. Nope, she just launches right into it while she’s holding the kid’s hand on her porch.

Now, as I’ve already said, my son is not perfect. He started having behavioral issues after another of her daycare kids BIT HIM. But I put all my trust in my provider because I truly thought of her almost as family. Which is probably why my sadness outweighs my anger right now. We worked with her at every turn and followed almost all of her suggestions. She wanted to cut down on the sippy cups, we totally eliminated them during the day and kept him to one in the morning and one at night. I came up with a rewards-based system to help Will earn points during the day. And if you go by my provider’s daily notes home, it was working.

This was sent home to us on Tuesday, June 22:

“We saw big changes in Will today. Much less crying & more involvement in daily activities. He had a great time playing with Charlie and they were like best friends.”

When I picked him up that day she told me he was “an 8 out of 10.” She told me Will was hugging and kissing Charlie all day. And she told me it was the first day of his sticker chart, where he receives stickers for helping around the house, sharing, etc and earns special prizes at the end of the day if he gets enough points. MJ and I were thrilled and, quite honestly, relieved.

THE VERY NEXT DAY she calls MJ and tells her Will needs to find a new daycare. Tell me, when you work with children how does it make any sense to react in such a bi-polar manner? Toddlers are full of ups and downs. Will had a great day Tuesday and a shitty day Wednesday. And that was it. Over and out.

But after today’s argument, now I know what’s at the root of all this. She has been harboring ill will toward my son for two months now. She called him awful today. That didn’t just pop up this instant, she’s been feeling that way since April. And my son is very intelligent. He picks up on emotions and it’s plainly obvious he recognized he was being watched by someone who wanted to be rid of him. Now I have serious concerns as to how my son was treated these past two months by a provider who longer wanted anything to do with him.

Not to mention this is the second child she’s done this to this year. Which leads me to believe that between her out of work and injured husband, the money they don’t have to replace their failed septic system and her youngest son who might be struggling with depression, she was not able to devote the proper level of care for my son and it’s at least partially her fault this happened. And that’s fine if she just came out and said that a month or two ago. But instead she’s made a bad situation worse, blaming my son for her personal shortcomings.

And you have to understand, she told us she LOVED me and MJ. She told us we were her favorite parents. She bad-mouthed the other daycare parents to us all the time and told us she wished more first-time parents could be like us. And I put my complete and total trust in her. I took her word as gospel, which is unfortunate because my own son was trying to tell me he didn’t like it there and I kept forcing him to go.

Bottom line here is I don’t care if she yells and screams at me. But she sunk to an all-time low when she started calling my 2-year-old names. Seriously, she called him awful. A grown woman in her 40s insulting a toddler. Not to mention she’s screaming at me with her daycare kids looking on. She’s lucky I showed some restraint and ultimately walked away because that’s not something small kids should have to be around. But apparently at her daycare, it’s acceptable.

I can’t believe I was so wrong about someone. I’m usually a very good judge of character but in this case, not so much.

I’m not going to post her name, the name of her business and all that. Deep down I’d like to believe she’s a good person in a rough spot. But the fact that she couldn’t even muster up an “I’m sorry” when I told her about my baby is pretty telling. Not to mention getting into a screaming match in front of kids.

My son isn’t perfect, but he’s a good boy. A good boy in a horrible situation and I will never let something like that happen again. In the meantime let this be a lesson that you never truly know people until the shit hits the fan.

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48 thoughts on “Daycare Drama

  1. It is cliche and empty to say but you and your son are better for being rid of that toxic situation. As someone who looks after three toddlers every day as well as a number of neighbor kids that hang around you have good days and bad but if you don’t have a heart and a passion for the kids you are going to have a toxic environment. Better days are ahead and better situations for Will to thrive and grow in an environment that is nurturing and supportive. I am sorry for this fucking week, I wouldn’t get a physical or anything, you might find you have cancer of the balls and just put a nice little cherry on this shit sunday.

  2. And you have to understand, she told us she LOVED me and MJ. She told us we were her favorite parents. She bad-mouthed the other daycare parents to us all the time and told us she wished more first-time parents could be like us. And I put my complete and total trust in her.(DF)

    There is an old saying that speaks perfectly to this.

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”

    Trashing other parents should have been your first clue. Tough life lesson, hopefully you learn from it.

  3. SAHD PDX: Thank you for the laugh. And I can’t believe you actually said “cancer of the balls” because I was talking to a friend and I said “What’s next? Nut cancer?” Great minds think of testicles…er, I mean, alike.

  4. TFT: That is a very good point. And I know better. If someone is trashing one of their paid clients to another client, then she’s likely saying the same thing about you behind your back. You’re right. And that’s my own fault.

    It’s just that everything went so well for so long. Will LOVED it there. He’s been there 15 months and he used to cry when I came to pick him up. He never wanted to leave. It’s just hard to imagine things turned for the worse so quickly.

  5. WOW! Clearly she is the awful one! I can’t believe some one in that position would at like that…You and I know that there is no such thing as a perfect 2 year old…Why doesn’t she?

    It sounds like she has been having a rough time, but you can’t take that out on kids, and she should know that…Unreal!

    Our best thoughts and wishes to you and yours.

  6. I read your latest posting but i dont think that it is fair to the daycare provider to expose what she told you what was going on in her life. Obviously, she trusted you as you trusted her and she told you that in confidence. How is she supposed to defend herself while you are on here blogging about every minute of your life. Why can’t you take the high road and get over this. You don’t see her blogging and bad mouthing you. How would you feel if you were in her position and someone exposed your private life to strangers. Maybe you are the problem. Spend less time blogging about your problems and go be a dad. During this whole time you are blogging about this where was your son?

  7. Whoa.

    All you can do now is wipe your hands clean of her and muster up as much positive energy toward the new daycare. I hope for the sake of you, MJ, and Will that this place knows how to handle a 2 year old.

    (oh, and save all your daily reports/paperwork in case she decides to take you to court)

  8. Tiffany you are a fucking idiot.

    I didn’t put her name on here. Unless you know me, there is no way to connect the dots or identify her out of the hundreds of daycare in my region. And I can blog about whatever the fuck I want.

    My son is napping you clueless twit. What kind of parenting would you like me to do while he’s asleep? Want me to read him French and hope it sinks in? We’ve already been to the beach & the playground today, as well as reading 2 new books. Get your head out of your ass.

    I did take the high road. I left the premises with PLENTY unsaid because there were kids around. She, meanwhile, continued to scream things at me even after I walked away.

    Maybe the problem is you are a bitch.

  9. Tiffany, are you for real? If he wanted to expose her, he would’ve given her name or her business name. He would (or could have) posted negative comments in a variety of public forums online that would deter other parents from sending their kids there. I’m sure that he could’ve gotten into more detail about her problems if he wanted to, but kept it fairly vague just giving enough detail to get an understanding of her situation.

    If she was bad mouthing other parents before, you don’t think that she’s bad mouthing him right now??

    Spend less time blogging about your problems and go be a dad? Why don’t you spend less time commenting on the blog and go fornicate yourself with an iron stick.

  10. Anyone think Tiffany might now be or at one time was a daycare provider? Or a human being?

  11. I feel for you, love. I can’t believe that daycare woman was such a psycho. It’s surely true that you’re better off moving on, but it’s a ball punch that it had to happen right now.

    Tiffany, where are your children while you’re reading this and commenting? Don’t worry about mine, I locked them in the closet and gave them some matches and a pack of Lucky Strikes to play with. So they’re good. I have a suggestion, Tiffy Baby, and I do hope you’ll consider it. It essentially has two parts. Part 1.) Get some Vagisil. Once the burning and itching stops, you’ll be much happier and less prone to piss on someone who a.) doesn’t deserve your bullshit because he was the victim (for lack of a better word) in the situation and b.) because the worst thing I can imagine doing is kicking someone when he’s down. Do you think maybe he’s got enough going on right now, that perhaps your idiotic nonsense words are best kept to yourself?

    Shit. I forgot Part 2 because I’m so pissed off at your deliberate bitchy bullshit. I assure you, though, Part 2 was as brilliant as Part 1.

  12. Daddy Files, don’t feed the trolls. It’s not worth it. I speak from 8+ years of blogging experience. On the up side, I like to think that if trolls thinks you’re important enough to annoy, you must be doing something right. ;)

  13. Blessing in disguise Will’s out of there. It will work out for the best in the end. Dismiss the BS she spews as you know your son better than anyone and it sounds like you know exactly now what’s been going on.

    Still, sorry you’re even dealing with this.

  14. Bro, I feel for you man, But atleast he is out of there now, everything happens for a reason right?
    As for that Tiffany person, lol what a joke, you already know the 2 of you are great parents, she talks about you blogging, well where are her kids then while she reads the blogs, i mean come on. bring that bitch down here to Philly for a life leason.. The important thing is that your family keeps your heads held high and move on to the next chapter..
    And last, I am sorry about whats going on with the new baby, but if you need anything at all, You always have family to call on. You have my number.

  15. Aaron,
    My blood is BOILING on your behalf right now. In the long run, thank God he’s out of there now and not later. Shitty situation, but a blessing in disguise (a Freddy Kruger-like disguise, but you get my point).
    As for bad-mouthing, you’re smart to avoid it, obvs. But do definitely file a complaint with the BBB (no legal repercussions for this, as your complaint is legitimate and not libelous the way wall-papering area telephone poles with trash-talking signs and posters is — tempting though I’m sure it is!). Also, sites such as Angie’s List (www.angieslist.com) are a great place to warn other parents off of this place (I don’t know about the potential for that being termed “libel,” but if it’s a legitimate concern, and you are as sure about her incompetence and her overall lack of professionalism as it seems (esp. being the 2nd family to whom this has happened in recent months), I think you’re well within your rights to warn other parents of the potential pitfalls of leaving their kids with this head case).

  16. Oh, and Tiffany — do you happen to live near a large body of water, and maybe a suspension bridge or something? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that, since you seem to be so personally bothered by this blog, I just came up with a great way for you to take your mind off it.

  17. Man, it really sounds like you are better off without the daycare provider AND Tiffany. I don’t care what the child has done, you don’t call someone else’s kid awful. That’s stuff you say when you get your license from a Cracker Jack Box.

    I second everything Gucci Mama said. And I even agree with her… Part 2. It was absolutely brilliant! For so long I have been waiting to hear such poetry as was displayed in her Part 2. It left me longing for a Part 3, 4 and a 5. I will be here waiting.

  18. Chris: I won’t trash her personally on here. I’m going through the proper channels. I filed a complaint with the state department that handles licensing for childcare centers in Massachusetts. I wasn’t going to because (as far as I know) she hasn’t been abusive or anything, but her behavior of late has been so reprehensible that I felt it was necessary. I have no idea what will come of it but at least it will be on the record.

  19. Look all im saying is obviously this woman has older children and they know what you do for a living as a reporter and that you have this blog. What if one of her own children came across this and saw how nasty you ppl talk or the fact that something that was personal is out there. It doesnt matter if it doesnt say their name they just know that its out there.

  20. Tiffany, I’m so glad you came back. Help me understand something. If you’re panties are so tightly wound over this, why do you keep coming back? I’ve read plenty of blogs that I disagree with or that annoy me, but I don’t ever feel like I need to run off at the mouth and say ridiculous things that no one wants or needs to hear. I guess I just don’t understand why you feel like it’s necessary to continue to spout off when a.) you’re wrong and b.) your smug little attitude is completely indefensible.

    PS – I remembered Part 2. It goes a little something like this…
    Go fuck yourself.

  21. Actually it matters a great deal that I don’t say their names. Libel or defamation of character comes into play if I make FALSE accusations in a written medium. But I have not identified anyone here, and I certainly haven’t made any false statements. So it doesn’t apply.

    Also, they know I’m a reporter but I never told them about the blog. And as far as their kids finding out, she screamed at me and made that scene IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN. So I’d say they already have a good idea of what’s going on, and that’s her fault. The blog is not related to my job as a journalist either. The blog is done on my personal time and does not reflect anything I do at work.

    As far as people talking “nasty,” you’re the guiltiest of all. Take a look in the mirror.

  22. I would have walked right back up on the porch and swung her around by her old saggy jumblies.

  23. Oh yeah, and I just read the spewing of nonsense from this “Tiffany” broad…same goes for her.
    Gucci Mama Rules!

  24. Awful enough that you’re going through this situation. Even better that someone comes and decides to take it upon themselves to tell you that YOU are in the wrong.

    You are NOT in the wrong. ANY parent out there with ANY shred of decency would react the same way when finding out their child had been treated anything less than great. I wrote a blog about a nurse that dropped a needle on the floor and picked it up, then injected it into my son’s leg before I had a chance to say anything… I wrote about how stupid she was, and how angry I was, and how the whole thing was just fucked up. And not a single person had the gall (or idiocy) to tell me I was wrong.

    I think there’s a good chance you’ll see Will’s disposition improve now that he’s not in a toxic situation. Try not to let yourself get eaten up with guilt – be strong in the fact that you are doing what you know to be right for him, and never anything less.

    You have more support than you know.

  25. Tiffany- Really? Holy shit. Do you really read his blog? Have you read it for any length of time?????

    Then you would know he is struggling. Would you wish ANY OF THIS ON YOUR worst enemy even? Don’t you think she is telling her friends and neighbors? At least Daddy Files isn’t slamming her by name? But as I look back on the comments I see this has already been taken care of.

    Daddy Files- You are OBVIOUSLY going through a horriffic period in your life. I’m glad she doesn’t want to keep Will. HE DOESN’T NEED TO BE WITH HER. I’m glad he has a new start. Again…. I have my fingers crossed, heart heavy and prayers going. Seriously….. Southern hope coming your way. This (that happened to you ) is SO FUCKING STUPID I COULD SCREAM. Sorry….

  26. Her and her childrens’ names (and ages) are posted on your blog. Anyone that follows you would remember that post I think. I did. Can you go back and censor that post, and maybe the one the other day where you posted Will’s nickname for the provider? Also, posting her son’s name and age then and now a medical issue he might have isn’t really very nice for a kid who probably didn’t do anything to deserve a cyber world outing. I think that’s maybe what Tiffany was trying to say. Even if you posted his info out of love (6 months ago) and sympathy or something (this time), it’s not quite fair to him. You do have every right in the world to be beyond pissed at all that’s happened with that woman. You should just be sure to leave the innocent out of it.

    I’m sorry about baby #2… and appalled… but I guess not shocked… that they said nothing when you told them. :(

  27. Holy mother of God!

    This woman is bat-shit crazy! And if that was my kid she was screaming in front of like some untamed shrew you can bet I’d be breaking contracts. And on that point, who the hell breaks a contract then expects the other party to pay up? You break the contract YOU forfeit money!

    Tiffany. Dear, sweet bitchy Tiffany. While you think Aaron is in the wrong here, you clearly have issues thinking and breathing all at once so let me lay it out for you. This woman screwed HIS FAMILY OVER. She attacked his son verbally, lost her ever loving mind in front of another one of the children she is paid to protect, and care for, and then insisted that Aaron and MJ pay for the privilege. And then, when Aaron in a fit of human empathy confided in her and her husband about the tough time they are facing (which is more like HELL ON EARTH – trust me, I’ve been there!), was coldly stared at, like a freakshow in the museum.

    So. Tiffany. Dear sweet, Stupid Tiffany. You are wrong. This woman is a bitch. She should not be allowed to look after children, probably not even her own if she has mental moody swings this severe. You dear Tiffany are barking up the wrong tree if you think Aaron should not only let her treat his family this way, but then bite his tongue and keep it to himself. He knows his child is no saint – but he also knows his child is 2. T.W.O. Really, how much blame can you put on a toddler?

    If I were him – I’d be naming and shaming. Because I, like You, Am a bitch.

  28. Good lord, I dont know who is the bigger bitch. That woman who calls herself a child care provider or Tiffany. Or the idiot that posted something for someone to try and look up in your archives.

    Dude, you are RIGHT.

  29. Woah! I’m surprised you kept it together as well as you did considering the week you’ve been having.

    Anyone else think Tiffany is related to this sainted day care provider?

  30. so, does anyone think aaron is full of shit since mr “i don’t censor” took down his may 20th post, “my son the devil,” and december 13th, “best.daycare.ever.” Someone is full of shit, maybe? oooo, someone is worried? if anyone has them saved please send them to me. email lmama0909@aol.com. please. you are doing the right thing. this guy is full of shit. check for yourselves.

  31. Psycho child care provider! I should send you our letter that was sent when we pulled V from his 1st daycenter. We filed a complaint w/ the state and challenged the center director on the 2 weeks tuition. Never paid another cent and when people look into V’s old center by calling the state, the complaint will have to be disclosed.

    I cannot believe the lady! I remember how much Will loved it there. I think she needs a new line of work as she apparently cannot handle it. I do hope the new arrangements for Will work for you all!

  32. Aaron, I’m really sorry to hear about all of this! Speaking from someone who works with toddlers, I know how frustrating it can be to deal with some of the behaviors. I also tell my clients all of the time that unless you teach a child another behavior that is acceptable then they will keep going back to what they know gets results. They are only two afterall and don’t have a lot of strategies to choose from. It is your job as the adult to TEACH them those strategies. Dismissing them as being “bad kids” is just saying that you don’t have the education or patience to figure out ways to help them work through it. There are a lot of daycare teachers out there who haven’t had any real training and are just in it because they think it will be easy. I’m sorry that I live so far away from you or I’d try to help you out with some recommendations. You may want to contact your local EI and see if they have any suggestions. You can also look on sittercity.com. There are some great nannies out there who would love to work one to one with Will who can also take him to play groups to be around his peers. Let me know if I can be of any help!

  33. Hey mom,

    If you must know, I pulled those posts down temporarily because “actually…” was right. They did have my provider’s name and the names of people related to my provider, albeit in happier times. I went in, took all reference of their names out, and they’re now public again. Because as unhappy as I am with her right now, I wouldn’t want to identify her kids in all of this. That is why I took those posts down and changed them. I didn’t take them down because I’m hiding. I will tell you right now for more than a year I thought this woman was a saint. I thought I was the luckiest parent on the planet to have such a great daycare provider. I loved her and I loved her family. I wrote as much. But as her misfortune grew so did the quality of care my son received. So out of respect to CHILDREN, I took down anything that could identify them and made it all vague. How does that make me a bad person??

    And please enlighten me, how am I full of shit? What have I said that isn’t true? I defy you to name me one thing.

    Good luck collecting your “evidence” you fucking moron.

  34. The daycare provider is a horrible person to say those things about your son. I’m from the April ’08 babycenter birth board. I have a two year old and they are all little monsters at one time or other. It is a good thing that Will is out of there bad timing or not. As for charging you for two weeks notice … isn’t she also required to give you a two-weeks notice since she is the one ending the arrangement?

    You might consider looking into a daycare center (with lots of references) instead of in-home daycare. Sorry you’re dealing with this and everything else.

  35. I’m so sorry for all of the bullshit you are being put through right now. I can’t understand the people who come here and take the time to comment only to say hurtful things. You definitely did the right thing by walking away. I know that when people are going through rough times it can make EVERYTHING harder. I can understand your (former) daycare provider’s need to put her own family first but the way that she went about doing it was 100% wrong. Taking her stress out on Will and on your family is inexcusable. I don’t care what a person is dealing with, there’s no excuse for acting the way that she did. Whatever her feelings are, she should not have started shouting at you in front of children – and she definitely shouldn’t have been saying negative things about Will (at all but especially) right in front of him. After all, you are going through some serious shit right now and you managed to be an adult about the situation. I feel incredibly bad for Will, having to deal with that kind of negativity for the past couple of months.

    I can’t even find the words to say how sorry I am about what you are going through with the baby. I hope that the doctor is wrong and you get a happy ending. Life just sucks sometimes and there’s a reason “it never rains but it pours” is a saying, I guess. Life has a way of kicking the shit out of you just when you think it can’t get any worse.

    Also… for what it’s worth, I believe you have one of the most HONEST blogs on the internet. You don’t sugarcoat anything and that’s the way that it should be. Fuck ‘mom’ and anyone else who thinks you are full of shit. Whenever I dislike a blogger that much I just click the little red ‘x’ in the corner and go on my (not so) merry way. Maybe she should try it.

  36. Just an FYI for fairness sake:

    She did give me 2 weeks notice but what parent is going to send their kid back to a place where he is not wanted & the provider has called their kid awful? Not le that’s for Damn sure.

    Also, she wasn’t yelling at me in front of Will. Not quite anyway. Will was in the car a few feet away from me. But the other daycare kids were present.

  37. As someone who has beared the brunt of your temper, I can’t commend you enough for just walking away. That in itself is the hardest!

    As for the daycare situation, it may have been a blessing in disguise. Her care may have started to decline as she tended to her family. At that point it would have been hard to pull Will out as you felt she was like family. Also, Will’s world is about to be turned upside down with the introduction of a sibling. Stability is key in those first few months and a switch in daycare at that time could have been awful. By changing him now, he gets to feel comfortable in his new surroundings and feel safe when the rest of his world changes.

  38. Aaron,
    I’m truly sorry for everything your family is going through right now. I can’t imagine the heartache that must be involved as worry about your unborn baby and fear the decisions you’ll have to make. In addition, I’m shocked by your daycare provider’s behavior. It’s so disappointing when we find out people aren’t what we thought they were. “Mom” and the other trolls weighing in are morons. You did the right thing in temporarily removing/editing posts to keep the daycare provider and her kids’ names out of the public eye. That is far different from general censorship and anyone with half a brain knows that. Good luck and hang in there. I’m so glad Will has gone on to a new a daycare! ~G

  39. We went through a changing of daycare when Evan was 18 mos old. I was getting calls every day to complain about his behavior – up to that point he was an angel. I noticed a change in his behavior when I dropped him off – clinging, where in the past he jumped out of my arms and played. My normally overly friendly child was becoming withdrawn. I’ll never forget the day I removed him from their care. I went to pick him up and the ‘teacher’ was standing at the door running her mouth to another teacher. She was completely ignoring the children behind her. I stood and watched as another child hit mine with a toy. But she didn’t see that. All she saw was Evan hitting him back. My suspicions were confirmed. I asked for all of his belongings and went to the director’s office. When I told her what happened, she didn’t even look shocked. I dared her to ask for the 2 week’s notice.

    A few weeks later I ran into a former employee that let me know she quit because the director would put children in ‘time out’ in the closet in her office. Wow.

    So, all that to say, it’s for the best. You will find somewhere better and he will be happy again.

  40. Aaron – obviously this whole run of situations you and MJ have been facing recently just blows. I wish I had a magic wand.

    Tiffany – So, if you live in MA or have read any of Aaron’s other posts, you have a pretty go idea of what the whole Red Sox Nation is about. Basically you just walked on to the field at Fenway wearing a fucking Yankees jersey spouting your mouth, and actually thought you were gonna get away with it? HELLS NO.

    Glad you blogged abou this – its waht makes your blog so damn good. These are the REAL issues parents deal with.

  41. Wow. Tiffany is an unsensive douche. Unbelievable.

    Dude… you got people out here that read you that feel for you and know that this is your therapy. We’ve all had our unique moments and situations that called for us to purge ourselves on our blogs. You did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong in writing what you did and if ANYONE should have their fingers sewn together it should be Tiffany! Good grief.

    So sorry all this is happening to you man…

  42. I just think anyone who likes their child all the time is a liar. I love my child always, but he’s also about to turn two, and he has his moments where I can’t stand him.

    I’ve also work with children of multiple age groups, and your right. It gets frustrating and some days they’re saints and other days… Well, I think it would be more fun to be in hell. But I knew that’s what I would get when I chose to work with children. If she can’t handle it anymore – fine, but shut down your business.

    Like everyone else, I am so sorry about your baby. I’m also in the babycenter due in december group, and I am praying for nothing but the best for you guys.

  43. My mom was a daycare provider for over 20 years and any of the times she let kids go it was solely due to personality conflicts. She let go of great kids and kept some real rotten ones (at least in my opinion). So I would agree with you that it’s definitely the caregiver’s issue and has nothing/very little to do with your son.

    I’ve also noticed, with my nephew, that if your kid acts differently than how others think they should, teachers and caregivers tend to push harder on them. My nephew is not very social and teacher after teacher has gotten enraged by his behavior. Behavior, I might add, that is mostly just him doing his own thing, not hurting or teasing other kids, not sassing back just … drawing on a piece of paper or playing on the playground by himself. (I’ve also noticed this seems to be more prevailent on the East Coast).

    But I do have a tip for you that might help. Stop the ‘sharing’. One great thing my mom did in her daycare and I copied with my own kids, is that no one ever has to share. ‘Sharing’ becomes just another way for kids to bully or gain control of a situation. ‘He’s not sharing!’ instantly gets the kid — who’s not doing anything bad — in trouble and rewards the tattletale who wants to cause trouble.

    Plus, as adults we don’t share nor are we expected to. Your neighbor doesn’t come by and demand you share your car, right? It’s your kid’s toy and it should be their decision if they want to give it up or not. Mine are older now, but I used to tell kids who complained that mine wouldn’t give them a toy, “You can ask if s/he wants to share but if s/he says no then you need to find something else to play with or (if they aren’t my kids’ toys) wait until they are done.” I had a friend who wasn’t comfortable with being such an ass, so she would say, “My kid’s playing with it, but we’ll set the timer and in 2 minutes you can have a turn.” That way the rule was always consistent and led to less angst.

    Anyway, I would rather play by myself that have to worry every time I interact with another kid if I have to give up something I love or get in trouble. You’ve seen that your son will share with his favorite stuffed animal, so don’t worry about it.

    Also? Fuck those other kids. They’re all booger pickers who wet their pants every day, right?

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