Ready kiddos? Buckle up because this is nuts…
After receiving the call from my daycare provider’s husband (because she obviously doesn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do it herself), I went over there to gather Will’s things. Frankly I was planning on making a big stink but I chose not to because there are more important things.
I parked the car with Will in it in her driveway and made my way up to the deck. Her husband was there, she was not. I said hello and asked if everything was ready. He said yes so I grabbed it and started to head out without a word. That’s when she came around the corner with another one of the daycare kids. She asked me if I got their message about the additional money they wanted me to pay. I said yes, but that I wasn’t going to pay her a cent because she’s the one kicking Will out. And frankly, what parent is going to send their kid back to a place he/she is clearly not wanted?
At that point I decided to tell them about what’s going on with our baby. And then I said if they wanted to pile onto our nightmare by taking us to court, go right ahead. Neither of them said anything about the baby. Not a “I’m sorry to hear that” between them. So I grabbed Will’s stuff and said “Thanks for nothing” as I made my way back to the car.
No voices had been raised by either side at this point, which I thought was important because her own children and her daycare kids were outside with us. But as I was making my way to the car, she decided to heat things up.
“Yeah. And thank you for having such a charming child.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, blood boiling to unrecognizable levels. I turned around and just glared at her. That kicked off a heated argument during which she called my son “awful.” She called me and MJ “spoiled brats” and part of the “spoiled generation.” Then she told me I didn’t know what I was talking about because I’ve only been a parent for two years.
Now please keep in mind, she’s engaging me in this argument WHILE I WAS ALREADY WALKING AWAY not to mention IN FRONT OF SMALL CHILDREN. As if I really need to say any more. This paragon of professionalism didn’t even stop to put the kids in the house or spare them the scene. Nope, she just launches right into it while she’s holding the kid’s hand on her porch.
Now, as I’ve already said, my son is not perfect. He started having behavioral issues after another of her daycare kids BIT HIM. But I put all my trust in my provider because I truly thought of her almost as family. Which is probably why my sadness outweighs my anger right now. We worked with her at every turn and followed almost all of her suggestions. She wanted to cut down on the sippy cups, we totally eliminated them during the day and kept him to one in the morning and one at night. I came up with a rewards-based system to help Will earn points during the day. And if you go by my provider’s daily notes home, it was working.
This was sent home to us on Tuesday, June 22:
“We saw big changes in Will today. Much less crying & more involvement in daily activities. He had a great time playing with Charlie and they were like best friends.”
When I picked him up that day she told me he was “an 8 out of 10.” She told me Will was hugging and kissing Charlie all day. And she told me it was the first day of his sticker chart, where he receives stickers for helping around the house, sharing, etc and earns special prizes at the end of the day if he gets enough points. MJ and I were thrilled and, quite honestly, relieved.
THE VERY NEXT DAY she calls MJ and tells her Will needs to find a new daycare. Tell me, when you work with children how does it make any sense to react in such a bi-polar manner? Toddlers are full of ups and downs. Will had a great day Tuesday and a shitty day Wednesday. And that was it. Over and out.
But after today’s argument, now I know what’s at the root of all this. She has been harboring ill will toward my son for two months now. She called him awful today. That didn’t just pop up this instant, she’s been feeling that way since April. And my son is very intelligent. He picks up on emotions and it’s plainly obvious he recognized he was being watched by someone who wanted to be rid of him. Now I have serious concerns as to how my son was treated these past two months by a provider who longer wanted anything to do with him.
Not to mention this is the second child she’s done this to this year. Which leads me to believe that between her out of work and injured husband, the money they don’t have to replace their failed septic system and her youngest son who might be struggling with depression, she was not able to devote the proper level of care for my son and it’s at least partially her fault this happened. And that’s fine if she just came out and said that a month or two ago. But instead she’s made a bad situation worse, blaming my son for her personal shortcomings.
And you have to understand, she told us she LOVED me and MJ. She told us we were her favorite parents. She bad-mouthed the other daycare parents to us all the time and told us she wished more first-time parents could be like us. And I put my complete and total trust in her. I took her word as gospel, which is unfortunate because my own son was trying to tell me he didn’t like it there and I kept forcing him to go.
Bottom line here is I don’t care if she yells and screams at me. But she sunk to an all-time low when she started calling my 2-year-old names. Seriously, she called him awful. A grown woman in her 40s insulting a toddler. Not to mention she’s screaming at me with her daycare kids looking on. She’s lucky I showed some restraint and ultimately walked away because that’s not something small kids should have to be around. But apparently at her daycare, it’s acceptable.
I can’t believe I was so wrong about someone. I’m usually a very good judge of character but in this case, not so much.
I’m not going to post her name, the name of her business and all that. Deep down I’d like to believe she’s a good person in a rough spot. But the fact that she couldn’t even muster up an “I’m sorry” when I told her about my baby is pretty telling. Not to mention getting into a screaming match in front of kids.
My son isn’t perfect, but he’s a good boy. A good boy in a horrible situation and I will never let something like that happen again. In the meantime let this be a lesson that you never truly know people until the shit hits the fan.