Don’t Sweat the Big Stuff

First of all, I have a work-related plea to all of you parents on Cape Cod. The rest of you can scroll down and skip this if you’d like. I won’t be mad. I’m writing a story for later this week on the state of day care on Cape Cod and I’m trying to find some Cape parents who are struggling to find day care, are fed up with the state voucher system, can no longer afford it, etc. If you’re willing to go on the record, I’d love to ask you some questions and possibly include you in my article. You can e-mail me at agouveia@capecodonline.com if you’re interested.

Now, onto the post…

First of all, thank you to everyone who sent along comments, e-mails and notes of encouragement. It’s still amazing to me that a bunch of people I’ve never met on the Internet can be so helpful and supportive. What can I say? You guys rock.

It’s funny, but I’m really not that freaked out right now. You see I tend to sweat the small stuff. I’m very shortsighted and I can only think about today, while MJ is a big picture kind of gal. MJ is thinking about going down to one income (my measly journalist’s pay), what we have to cut out of our lives, whether or not we can keep the house, possibly selling off one of the cars, using our savings and 401k to float us, etc. She has to come up with a cohesive plan of attack while thinking years down the road. That’s why she’s successful and brilliant, but it’s also why she’s constantly tied up in knots.

I, on the other hand, am completely opposite. I can only see and think about what’s in front of my face. And I knew that MJ was unhappy with her managers and her current position. I knew that the way she was treated by management made her physically ill, and that she’s been much happier and healthier while on leave. So even though it’s a terrible time to look for a new job and the loss of her income will sting deeply, I think this is an opportunity for her to find something better.

And while I’m definitely not some laid back hippie who believes in Karma, I do believe things have a way of working out for the best. We may go through some rough times and things might seem bleak, but in the end we’ll land on our feet.

Because I will do anything to ensure that my family is taken care of. If I have to beg, borrow or steal my son will grow up in a happy home bereft of nothing. You can bet on that.

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6 thoughts on “Don’t Sweat the Big Stuff

  1. Isnt it funny how everything changes when you have a family to look out for. I used to say “oh its the end of the world, my life is ruined, i have no money” but god forbid i ever apply somewhere like a food store or a restaurant. But once you have a family, there is no time to whine, no time to self-pity, just time to be positive and know that you would swallow your pride a hundred times over to make sure your wife/husband, and kid is taken care of and never knows the reality of the situation. Having a baby (and family more so) changes everything….im sure you guys will figure everything out. all about sacrifice and compromising.

  2. If she is happier and healthier, then she is better off without that job. I’ve been in that position, and it was a dark time for me.

    Everything will work out just fine.

  3. Just don’t stress about whats going to happen next……… as stress brings negative things about just have a faith that as long as you aretogether everything will be fine.

  4. PK (pre-kids) the partner and I were what “our people” commonly referred to as “DINKS”. Dual income, no kids. You are spot on about your ability to make things work, regardless of the income stream, to make your home a happy, healthy, safe environment for your kid. My income stream certainly didn’t increase by the $1000/month we pay for daycare, or the $250/quarter mandatory wardrobe upgrades for the rapidly changing toddler bodies, or the $500/month in extra food appropriate for toddlers, or the $300 new car payment (because “(F)reddy, driving a Jeep Wrangler with kids really isn’t safe…or practical”). Which, as a side, I scream HORSE SHIT. Jeeps ARE safe AND practical! I digress. So, our household income is the same today as it was 4 years ago (thanks to the economy I haven’t had a raise in 4 years…and may be out of a job soon), but somehow we’re not struggling with the additional $2000ish/month additional expenditures. Which REALLY makes me wonder what the hell we were doing with that money PK! Y’all will figure it out, and come together where it matters most. Cuz, really, all that matters is family. Good luck man.

  5. Thanks (F)reddy. And I agree about Jeep Wranglers by the way. My wife had one until 3 years ago when she traded it in for a VW Jetta. She misses that Jeep like you read about. She gets sad every time she passes one on the highway, so I promised her that someday we’ll get another Wrangler.

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