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I'm a 33-year-old father and husband born and bred in Massachusetts. I have a beautiful son named Will, a gorgeous wife named MJ who is far too hot to have married me, a dog I love and two cats I put up with. I'm a smart-ass former newspaper reporter with a penchant for turning a phrase, who decided to go corporate and is now enjoying life as a content manager for a website.

This blog is not just another "daddy blog." Sure I write about my son, but these pages are a record of my life. I don't just highlight the fun milestones like first steps, I also chronicle the "other stuff." The fights, the torment and the doubt that inevitably come with being a husband and father. It's not always puppy dogs and rainbows, but it is very real. And often there is beauty in the sadness, redemption in the struggle.

Thank you for checking me out, giving me a try and sticking around for the journey. If you'd like to contact me you can email aaron_gouveia (at) yahoo (dot) com.

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Don't Vote for Anyone Who Doesn't Vote for Gay Marriage

I want you to imagine a scenario for me.

Picture a presidential candidate making his pre-election rounds. Shaking hands, kissing babies — you know the drill. He stops to talk to a few people in a diner to connect with the common folk. He’s asked a very basic question from a man having breakfast. All the man wants to know is if the candidate is going to give him the same equal rights as the rest of society. After all, this man is a taxpayer who worked his whole life. He even enlisted in the Army and fought in Vietnam. Surely this man — a hard-worker who laid his life on the line for his country — doesn’t have to worry about basic rights being afforded to others and not him, right?

Think again.

Presidents have a multitude of issues with which they have to deal, representing 314 million different people. Candidates can (and should for that matter) differ on things like economic issues, domestic policy, foreign affairs and job creation. Bringing different approaches and philosophies is all well and good. But there has to be a foundation solid enough on which to build. And if that foundation — at its most basic level — doesn’t include equal rights for every citizen, then you simply aren’t qualified to lead this nation.

I’ve heard all the excuses before.

  • “My religion says marriage is between one man and one woman.” Well, OK. But your religion (whatever that religion may be), is not universal. It is not the law of the land. In fact, there exists a pretty important document which specifically designates a separation of church and state. So while you’re absolutely free to believe in whatever you want and practice it freely, you don’t get to force-feed it to the rest of us who want no part of it.
  • “Just because I’m against gay marriage doesn’t mean I’m a bigot.” Actually, it does. By saying you’re against gay marriage, you’re saying you’re against equal rights. You’re saying a certain segment of the population should be treated as second-class citizens, based solely on their sexual orientation. It is no different — no different at all — than saying black people shouldn’t get married because of the color of their skin. All this is is substituting sexual orientation for race.
  • “If you let two men/women marry each other then people will be able to marry their dogs or cats.” If I have to explain how comparing animals to gay people is obnoxiously insulting and ridiculous, maybe you should click elsewhere now and save us all the time.

And that’s the troubling thing about that Mitt Romney video. He sat down with an undecided voter to answer a question and have a discussion. Then, without even blinking or showing a modicum of compassion or understanding, he flatly and unequivocally tells that man he’s not good enough. That he won’t be treated equally. Because Mitt Romney’s religious beliefs dictate that marriage is between one man and one woman, he’s going to take whatever steps possible to make sure his discriminatory practices become the norm for all of America. And that’s a gigantic problem.

Romney is known for his flip-flopping. So I’m sure in the lead-up to the election, he’s going out of his way not to change his mind on anything, lest he be perceived as weak or indecisive. But in my opinion, his conversation with that gay veteran was a defining moment and a missed opportunity.

Just imagine if Romney listened to what he was saying. I mean actually listened and took it to heart. Picture a presidential candidate being human enough to say even though he doesn’t personally agree with it, he’s in favor of everyone having the right to marry who they choose. I’m not saying that would’ve been enough to get me to vote for Mitt Romney. In fact, I know it wouldn’t have been. But I damn sure would’ve respected him for it.

Like everyone else, I want a president who is confident in his decisions. But I don’t want him automatically making snap decisions based on nothing but religious beliefs. I want a president who thinks for himself and doesn’t tow a party line. Because dammit, people are SUPPOSED to struggle with tough decisions and issues. The right thing to do isn’t always clear, especially when it contradicts your own background and beliefs.

But make no mistake — legalizing gay marriage in America is the right thing to do. That’s not a matter of opinion either, it’s fact. I’m not saying all churches of each religion should be forced to marry gay people. I know that’ll never happen and churches will always have the right to be as backwards and intolerant as they wish. But if two gay people want to get married at city hall, they should be able to. They deserve the same rights, privileges and pursuit of happiness as everyone else.

Because the one question opponents of gay marriage have NEVER been able to adequately answer is this — how does gay marriage negatively impact your life? Probably because the answer, of course, is that it doesn’t. You don’t like homosexuality, don’t marry someone of the same sex. No one is forcing gayness on you. Legalizing gay marriage doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly watch Queer Eye or start drooling over Channing Tatum. It’s not like hardcore GOP conservatives will suddenly flock to airport bathrooms and start soliciting gay men for — hmmm…bad example.

All it will do is level the playing field. That’s it. Mitt and Ann Romney’s heterosexual marriage will not be eroded one iota when gay people are allowed to commit to one another for life. And the only way you’ll have to suffer through witnessing gay marriage is if you have to attend one. But if you’ve spent all these years actively attempting to deny people that right, well…let’s just say you probably won’t have to worry too much about it.

Mitt Romney thinks homosexuality is wrong. That’s his right. But electing a leader in this day and age who won’t even entertain a discussion with a constituent regarding basic human rights? Big mistake. I hope America proves to be better than that in November.

7 comments to Don’t Vote for Anyone Who Doesn’t Vote for Gay Marriage

  • Mitt Romney is such a cocky asshole. I can’t wait to watch his concession speech in November.

  • Daddy by Default

    I follow politics closely, and I still can’t tell you how this guy became the front runner for the republican party. They waiver on every issue, and seem so desperate to get some traction it’s really sad. I’m not sure the two party system is helping our country right now, but that’s another story.

    Nobody is perfect, especially when you’re in front of the cameras night and day for 2 years, but with the Mitt, he sticks his foot in his mouth every time he goes off script. I don’t think he has an original thought in his awesomely angular head.

    While I don’t agree with every comment you make in your article, I can agree with you that should this man be elected president our great country will probably self destruct in less then 48 hours.
    Daddy by Default recently posted..Printable Fun for You and Your KidsMy Profile

  • Shane Curtis

    Let’s just hope for the best on the election. Do you think he’s a strong candidate?
    Shane Curtis recently posted..Brisbane The Worlds Fastest Growing Mature CityMy Profile

  • Mitt Romney? No, not at all. He was my governor for four years in Massachusetts and I don’t want that for the country. The only good thing he did was institute mandatory healthcare, but he’s doing everything possible to distance himself from that now that he’s running for President.
    Daddy Files recently posted..Don’t Vote for Anyone Who Doesn’t Vote for Gay MarriageMy Profile

  • I just don’t agree with a lot of Mitt Romney’s policies. His policies do not reflect equality at all.
    Anne Wilson recently posted..Kim Kardashian Ranks High on the Forbes ListMy Profile

  • Shaun linnane

    You guys and girls are just as blind when it comes to Obama! Which I’m sure your voting for. Since he is the only other front runner. Obama does care about individuals rights. He states time and time again that people should be equal. But what he means by that is to knock every American down to the lowest level possible. Which would make us all equal. Obama is a socialist and a communist it ain’t funny. Talk about a guy that doesn’t want to better America. Obama is first on the list ahead of you thinking of mitt Romney. Good day!

  • Oh Shaun, give it a rest. Screaming Socialist & Communist at Obama supporters doesn’t make you sound smart. In fact, just the opposite. Obama isn’t against success, he’s for equality & giving people an opportunity for success. Does he plan to tax the uber wealthy more? Yup. Because they’re the ones who can afford it. Currently they pay a lower tax rate than the squeezed middle class. If you really think that’s fair, have fun voting for Romney. Same goes for not wanting to give gay people the same rights. That’s not socialism, it’s basic equality. Learn the difference.

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