Evil Yankees

Kids are very impressionable. That’s why as parents, it is imperative we take great care and responsibility in shaping these young minds. With that, here’s a conversation I had recently with my 3-year-old son while listening to sports radio hosts discuss the upcoming series between the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees.

Will: “Dada, they said Yankees on radio.”

Me: “They did. And what do we say about the Yankees?”

Will: “Yankees stink. Boooo Yankees!”

Me: “That’s my boy.”

Will: “Dada, where the Yankees from?”

Me: “The Yankees are from New York.”

Will: “GMORK?!?!”

(The Gmork is the fictional wolf-like harbinger of The Nothing in the movie Neverending Story)

Me: “No no no, New York buddy.”

Will: “Dada, Gmork is bad?”

Me: “Yes bud, the Gmork is evil.”

Will: “Is Gmork with the Yankees Dada? Are Yankees evil?”

(Trying to decide whether to be a responsible parent or an overzealous Red Sox loving dad)

Me: “Yes Will. The Yankees are evil and Gmork belongs to them. I think Gmork is Steinbrenner’s pet. In fact, every time the Yankees win The Nothing grows stronger and we all die a little inside.”

Will: “Whoa. I don’t like Yankees Dada. BOO EVIL YANKEES AND GMORK!”

Was it the best parenting idea to tell my son that a mythical beast set on destroying all life is the team mascot of the Yankees? I don’t know. Time will tell. But I sure as hell enjoy the fact that my son now equates a sadistic, soul-sucking animal to the pinstriped devils wearing those “NY” logos on their hats.

Now if the Red Sox could only win a game so we can have something to cheer about.

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7 thoughts on “Evil Yankees

  1. My son says “boo” when he sees the dark navy & pinstripes too; though, we’re here to remind folks there’s more than 1 team in the state of New York and NY ain’t all bad. 🙂

  2. I’m typing this behind FULL catcher’s gear: as a die hard Rangers fan, I wish you better luck next time.
    But I do join in the Yankee hate (other than the ones I want to know, you know on a um personal level.)

  3. Seeing that I grew up cheering for the Expos I really have nothing to contribute to the baseball discussion in general. I do however applaud your decision.

  4. it’s been many years since I’ve even thought of The Neverending Story, gotta find it this weekend to introduce to the kids.
    I’m a Phils fan by default but being my father’s daughter I’m obligted to hate everything to do with New York so I like your explanation 🙂

  5. I do believe Jack B hit the nail right on the head. An obnoxious, overzealous fan base cheering over fake baseball played by a 200 million dollar team is downright disgusting.

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