In the words of Jack Buck, I cannot believe what I just saw.
It’s Christmas time, and no one exemplifies Christmas better than the Big Guy. Huh? The birth of Jesus Christ?? Sorry, I don’t think so. Forget that fairy tale, I’m talking about someone who brings everyone great joy. Spotting him as he dashes around spreading Christmas cheer has proved impossible, but I’d like to happily announce all that has changed.
I have exclusive footage to show you. That’s right, after all these years we finally caught the 300+ pound guy doing his thing. He’s in his uniform and everything. Our video caught him bringing gifts to people in the New England area a few days ago, and I guarantee you’ll never see anything else like it ever again.
Santa? Hell no, screw Santa. I’m talking about Patriots offensive lineman Dan Connolly!
Look at that fat guy run!!!
I know some of you aren’t football fans, but this is the longest kickoff return an offensive lineman has ever had. I love that in the beginning of the run Connolly has two hands on the ball and expects to get hit…but the hit never comes. Instead, he takes off and shows remarkable speed for a big guy. Holding the ball like a loaf of bread, Connolly lumbered 71 yards down the field to set the Patriots up for a touchdown.
I’d like to take all the credit for this since I just wrote a post praising the offensive linemen of the parenting world who never get any credit. But once in a while, the Dan Connollys of the world will turn the spotlight back to where it belongs. On fat guys inexplicably making long runs.