Father-Son Farting

My dad and I went to the Boston Garden last night to watch the Celtics kick the holy hell out of the Miami Heat, while Will stayed with my mom and fell asleep at their house. I didn’t get back to pick him up until 12:30 a.m., at which point I had to wake the poor kid up and put him in the carseat for our ride home. He was really good about it, and fell back asleep for the majority of the 45-minute ride back to the Cape.

When we got home I grabbed him out of the carseat once again, at which point he got a little fussy. I don’t blame him, I woke him up out of a dead sleep twice and brought him out in the chilly weather. So as I’m carrying him up the walk to our front door through the early morning darkness, Will turns to face me suddenly and says “DADA!!”

And then he ripped not one, not two, but three extremely intense farts.

These were LOUD. Maybe they were just amplified by the stillness and dead quiet of the wee morning, but all I know is he farted right on my arm and the vibrations carried all the way to my feet. If any seismologists want to know what that slight tremor was at 1:10 a.m. in the area of Bourne, Massachusetts, fear not. It was merely my son displaying his staggering gastrointestinal capabilities.

But the best part was the aftermath.

After he farted, I was flat out impressed. Seriously, it was that good. So he farts, and then there’s this three second pause where I look at him incredulously and he looks at me as if to say “Whoa…did I just do that?” So we’re staring at each other, and then at the exact same time we both start laughing hysterically. Giggling like little kids, which is cool for him and possibly pathetic for me that I still find farts this funny at 30 years old. Then we high-fived.

I excitedly told MJ about this because I thought it was damned hilarious, but she just thought we were disgusting and ridiculous. Whatever, she just doesn’t get it. Some things are solely meant to be between a father and a son.

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16 thoughts on “Father-Son Farting

  1. That is too funny! And if it’s pathetic to still like farts, then I guess I join the pathetic group. My son and I have a blast laughing at each other’s flatulence on a regular basis. True mail bonding!

  2. @DaddyYo: We’re not pathetic, we’re appreciative of a youthful sense of humor!

    @gooliegirlie: God bless you and those women like you. May your ranks increase mightily.

    @OutNumbered: If I fart in bed (even if it’s aimed courteously away from her), she considers it an offense of the most egregious order. Needless to say that just increases my flatulence between the sheets.

  3. Ok my daughter and I still laugh about farts….maybe it is a mommy, daughter thing too!

  4. @jamie: Sorry, didn’t mean to imply some moms don’t find farts funny. But in my family, farting hilarity is definitely a father-son thing. My wife does not find passing gas to be the comic gold I do.

  5. My daughters find it incredibly funny as well. My Son at 6 months I think is begining to develop a sens of humor about it b/c my middle child a girl goes over and farts right on him and then falls over laughing. I wonder if I need to put a stop to this behavior. hmmmmm I wonder if she learned it from me. My sisters would say she did.

  6. My husband is flatuently repressed. Sure be polite when dating but after you’re married it shouldn’t matter. He goes in the bathroom to fart in his own house whereas at home if I’ve got to fart I’m going to fart which he thinks is just awful. And I’ll laugh about it with my toddler too.

  7. It’s not even the passing gas that makes that funny, it’s the progression of events. Your presentation is on point, lol.

  8. Farts are always funny, and I think it’s that type of bathroom humor that only guys will find funny.

    Like whenever my Dad and I stay over in Foxboro after a Pats game, he jokes about “making furniture” in the morning. Because after all the junk you eat while tailgating, you feel like you’re crapping table legs when you use the bathroom the next morning.

    Hilarious, if you ask me, but my wife thinks otherwise.

  9. farting is AWESOME. Just wondering though if it is physically possible for my husband NOT to fart whilst taking a leak.

  10. When someone is proud of being a semi-illiterate moron and can’t stand it becsuae someone else is not. Even worse is when they are too cowardly to use their own name.

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