Look, I know this might be a little harsh but it has to be said. The weight gained during pregnancy can be understood to a point, but it got out of hand toward the end. It’s been almost a year since Will was born and the fat is still there. There’s just no excuse to keep that extra weight hanging around now and quite frankly, not only is it unhealthy but it’s downright unappealing too. And I don’t want to hear the cheap excuses about how hard it is to eat right while taking care of a baby and not being able to find the time to work out. That’s all nonsense. If you want to look better you’ll always find a way. And I’m sorry to be so caustic, but it’s time to find a way because all that fat…well, it just completely turns my stomach.
That’s why I’m hell bent on deflating this spare tire around my midsection! What? You didn’t think I was talking about my wife did you? I’m crazy but I’m not suicidal.
For you loyal Daddy Files readers you might recognize that as something I wrote when Will was just one month old. And unfortunately, it’s still true for me today. But now, just as I did then, I am coming up with a solution. Except this time it will involve all of us…or at least those of us fat enough who want to participate.
I’m starting a Daddy Files weight loss challenge called Fat(loss) Tuesdays. And I’m doing it because I am fat and I want to lose weight. There are a number of reasons I should lose weight, and the most important one should be so that I live long enough to see my son grow up. However, that is not the driving force behind my sudden need to be thinner. Nope. You know what did it for me?
I have more stretch marks than my wife. My wife who housed a human being for 9 months and then pushed something the size of a watermelon out of her vag. And I think I’m officially an A-cup. Which is never good.
So onto the contest. Here’s how it’ll work…
First of all, this contest is open to moms as well as dads. We’re equal opportunity here. It was start on April 7. Second, anyone who wants to enter has to ante up a bit. I know money is tight, so I don’t want to ask for it. But I’m thinking that in you’re not comfortable putting in a certain amount (I was thinking $25 each) then you could substitute goods or services. Like if you’re an artist or a photographer you could put in a framed picture. Or, if you’re like me with no discernible skills, feel free to offer up an American Express gift certificate.
All participants will weigh themselves on April 7. The winner will be the person who loses the largest percentage of weight by July 7. Winner gets all the prizes.
But here’s the catch and the thing I hope will drive us all and keep us honest. Every Tuesday you have to update your blog and you have to include a picture of yourself. I don’t know about any of you, but knowing that I have to post a picture of myself will keep me on the treadmill for those extra 5 minutes and keep my ass at the gym. You don’t have to include your face if you don’t want to, for those of us keeping anonymous blogs.
And yes, this whole relies on all of us taking up and sticking to the honor system. Cheaters will be shot.
The best thing is this is really a win-win on all levels. First of all, we lose weight and feel better. Also, I plan to use a Mr. Linky or some such thing on the blog so that every Tuesday after you guys post on your own sites, you can post links to your updates here. And everyone will be encouraged to visit each other’s blogs with either trash talk or words of encouragement. I prefer the trash talking. So not only are we getting thinner, but we’re sending tons of hits to each other’s sites and bulking up where it counts: unique visitors!
So Internet, what do you think? Are you in? Have I missed anything? Should I add anything? I’m all ears. So eat those doughnuts now because starting in April, we’re dropping some serious lbs.