Forget the Hype, Revel in the Moment

I have a friend named Billy I kind of envy. He’s a lawyer with his own practice, has won our fantasy football league twice (despite possessing the most meager NFL IQ out of everyone I know) and has a beautiful red-headed wife. But that’s not why I envy him.

I envy him because he and his wife were the first ones in our group of friends to have a kid.

Think about it. When you tell people you’re having a baby the first thing they do is congratulate you. And that lasts for all of 2 minutes before the ones who are already parents start subjecting you to their own parenting experiences, unwelcome advice and even horror stories. She’s not even showing yet, but people are telling you what baby furniture you need, warning against BPA bottles and telling chilling tales of delivery room horror stories.

So what does this have to do with the price of asparagus?

I’m finally allowed to relate some good news I’ve known for awhile but couldn’t share. My brother Nate and his wife Melissa are having a baby. Which means I’M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!!!!!! An uncle to a little girl due in mid to late March. And I couldn’t be happier, both for them and for me. Spoiling a little girl is going to be so much fun. Almost as fun as watching my brother squirm when we talk about his teenage daughter dating in the future.

Back to my original point, I found myself falling into the trap of dispensing unwanted advice. “I’d go with this crib” and “I’d use Nestle formula over Similac.” I mean hell, my poor brother is already bombarded with all my bullshit since he set up this blog and has helped me with it from the beginning. And there I was spouting off even more.

It’s like when a new movie comes out and everyone is raving about it. “Have you seen it yet? No?? OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod…YOU HAVE TO SEE IT! Now. Right now! Go Go Go Go!!! It’s the BEST. MOVIE. EVER!” For days, weeks and months you hear this about the movie. There’s this massive buildup and hype surrounding it, yet you find yourself staying away. Even when you go to the theater you see something else.

The funny thing is you were actually pretty excited about seeing it before it came out, but then everyone started talking about it incessantly. And even though it might be a good movie, you can’t see it now. Because everybody’s yapping has ruined it and there’s no way it can possibly live up to all the hype. It’s why I personally haven’t seen Star Wars, It’s a Wonderful Life and Casablanca.

Pregnancy is a fun, weird, trying and wonderful time. Sure it’s worthwhile to buy a few books and read up on what to expect, but it’s also fun to experience the unexpected. To ignore all the hype and just experience things for yourself without it being ruined by the ruminations of the grizzled veterans of the parenting trenches.

Congratulations Nate and Melissa. I promise to love that little girl with every ounce of my being, raise her a Boston sports fan and shut my mouth until she’s born!

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18 thoughts on “Forget the Hype, Revel in the Moment

  1. Congratulations Nate! Don’t listen to everyone else because they have no business telling how things work regardless of their experience. Human kind has survived in caves next to open fire eating raw meat for thousands of years. If your wife wants a tuna sandwich and a glass of wine, get it for her. The baby won’t get mercury poisoning and fetal alcohol syndrome. If you really want advice, wear a seatbelt when you drive and get her ice cream every chance you get. You are in more danger than the baby my friend.

  2. You’re talking about a fetus as if it were a person. Do you believe that is a picture of your niece? Or is that just a picture of some lump of tissue that will eventually develop into your niece?

  3. GudEnuf: Really? You’d be such a wretched fuck as to turn the happy announcement of my brother’s new baby into a referendum on abortion? I’d love to see you as a rotting lump of tissue, cocksucker.

    My views on this topic are well known and have been espoused in many other places. If you’d like to talk about them there, feel free. But there’s a time and a place.
    Daddy Files recently posted..We’ve Got a BiterMy Profile

  4. “My views on this topic are well known and have been espoused in many other places.”

    Bullshit. You’ve never explained your views on when fetus becomes a person. You’ve danced around the question, called anti-abortionists a bunch of names, but never actually contradicted their main point.

    Is a fetus a person, or is a fetus not a person? You won’t answer that question because you a hypocrite. When your wife planned to have an abortion, you talked as if the fetus where a lump of flesh. When your sister in law planned to give birth, you talked as if the fetus where a person.

    And I’ll bet the moon that if your sister in law decides to have an abortion, you won’t be referring to that fetus as “my new niece”.

  5. GudEnuf: Fuck you. You obviously haven’t been listening, or your illiterate brain can’t comprehend what I say.

    No, I do not believe the fetus is a person right now. But assuming all goes to plan, it will be. So I am celebrating the anticipation of my niece. How is that hypocritical?

    In my situation, I mourned the loss of potential. Technically it was just a lump of flesh. A lump of flesh that would’ve been my baby in time had a fetal abnormality not reared its ugly head.

    But the main point is you. Because how awful does someone like you have to be to come on a thread that is in no way about abortion, and then try to destroy a beautiful moment all in the name of your faith or political beliefs? You are rotten to the core. You can knock people for getting abortions all you want, but someone who can act like you act is pure evil on the inside, and someone not worthy of oxygen.

    How’s that for an explanation? You stupid fuck.
    Daddy Files recently posted..We’ve Got a BiterMy Profile

  6. Gud, I wish I could abort you right now. Ignorant Bible thumping fascist douche.

  7. You’ll notice that my comment said nothing about abortion. All I asked was whether you considered a fetus is a person. That was relevant to the post, given that you were talking about a fetus as if it were a person.

    You labeled that picture “my new niece”. You didn’t label it “my potential new niece” or “the beginnings of what will become my new niece”. You also used the pronoun “she” and not “it”. All of this contradicts your self-professed political views.

    And by the way, you might want to stop using the word “cocksucker” as pejoratively. It’s a little insulting to gay men and straight women.

  8. Calling Gud names just gives “it” what it wants – attention. You can’t argue intelligently with ignorance or blind devotion. There’s just no room. If only “it” cared about the living as much as “it” does the unborn. I can’t get mad at “it”, I can only feel sorry for “it”.

  9. Gud: At least have the testicular fortitude to admit you were trying to stir the pot. Hiding behind semantics like “I merely asked if you thought it was a fetus, because that’s TOTALLY not about abortion” is just pathetic.

    I said niece because the doctors determined it’s a girl. They’re well past 20 weeks now. And sorry if I didn’t label the picture to your liking, but prefacing every comment to an expectant parent with “I’m so happy for you…assuming your potential son or daughter lives” is a little morbid for my taste. And totally rude and insensitive. You should be very familiar with those things.

    And the most hilarious thing is, you’re totally incorrect. I used the future tense in my post. I wrote “I’m GOING to be an uncle” and spoiling my niece is “going to be so much fun.” If you’re going to attack, at least be accurate. But I guess that’s too much to ask a simpleton such as yourself.
    Daddy Files recently posted..We’ve Got a BiterMy Profile

  10. Bringing up fetus/ person debate in this article/post is absurd. There are other articles/posts that have been written for the specific points you would like to bring attention to and would be more relevant in those articles.

    With that being said, my response to the comments portion would be: part of the fetus/person debate is subjective based on point of view. In my opinion most people generally do not think of a fetus as a person until after the 1st trimester ( 1st 3 months ). The reason for this is that there are so many things that can go wrong in the trimester you need to keep a level and grounded head about it. I say all this because as much as you want an emotional attachment, those that are leery remain detached. As has been mentioned numerous times, I’m not surprised his view is that the would be child is a fetus. You try losing a pregnancy as many times as he and his wife has then you can judge why his views are his own.

    Being that he was unable to say anything prior, I would imagine that they are out of the 1st trimester and that is a picture of his niece.

    This article/post didn’t need to be turned into a soapbox debate as their are others listed on this site that can be used. You’d do well to stir up trouble on those.

  11. Gud – Aaron and his wife DID NOT PLAN to have an abortion!!! They had no choice and they were DEVASTATED!!! Their poor baby would not have survived out of the womb… to continue the pregnancy would have been torture to ALL involved, including their baby!! I personally could not imagine having an abortion unless there was some sort of extenuating circumstance… thankfully I have never had to experience any of those circumstances – But Aaron and MJ have and they dealt with it the only way they could!! I have known Aaron for over 20 years! He is a great person… I can say that with certainty… I can also say that you are a DICKHEAD… with certainty!! Go be an ass someplace else!!!

    Nate – I haven’t seen or spoken to you in FOREVER… you probably don’t even remember me! LOL!! But congrats on your new little girl!!! Because I do believe that as soon as you/your wife are pregnant… you are a parent, doing everything you can to protect that little baby!!!

  12. As an ex-message board manager I have to point out there is only 1 hard and fast rule… Don’t feed the trolls. It’s what they want and it always devolves into chain posting videos of people pooping.

  13. Congratulations Nate! I know enough about your family to know you guys are going to raise a wonderful daughter that will grow up to be a warm, compassionate, intelligent adult with class and dignity. You know, someone whom you can just tell was raised by parents that wanted her to be the best person she could be and not just…GudEnuf.

  14. When we announced to our friends our first pregnancy, one of our best friend’s responses was, “If you take the “r” off the word “father” and add “ad” you get “fathead.”

    Really?

    Surprisingly, they are no longer a fixture in our lives.

    By the way, have you ever heard what Horton says? “A person is a person no matter how small.”

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