My son is acting all kinds of gay, and Frozen is to blame!
Yes, you read that correctly. I’m blaming my 5-year-old’s sudden “gayness” on Disney’s mega-hit movie, after reading a little something from a Well-Behaved Mormon Woman. No, really. That’s her blog name. And in her now-viral piece, she opened my eyes to the REAL story of Frozen — furthering the Gay Agenda!
Now, I know you’re thinking “Wait, I saw Frozen and all I saw was a story about two plucky sisters learning about love and sacrifice while singing deliriously catchy songs with a talking snowman in a frozen tundra.” Well that’s what I thought at first too, but remember — that’s just what they want you to think. I’m just a dumbass liberal, which means my tiny mind can barely comprehend the deeper meaning of things. That’s why I’m ever so thankful to religious conservatives like WBMW for showing me the light.
Now, as most of you know, I’m a politically left of center unabashed proponent of gay marriage and equal rights. But, to be fair, that was before I knew I was being indoctrinated. And more importantly, it was before I knew my children were at risk.
Case in point, I took Will to see Frozen about a month ago. He loved it. He started singing all the songs like “Let It Go,” at the top of his lungs. I thought it was adorable — until WBMW peeled back the onion to reveal it as a gay anthem (It’s time to see what I can do / To test the limits and break through / No right, no wrong, no rules for me / I’m free). Might as well throw a headdress on him and make him sing YMCA!
And that’s when I started thinking about the last month.
Will has been prancing around the house singing these gay songs. He’s also started to pay much more attention to fashion. He picks out his mother’s clothes and helped me match a tie to my shirt. I think he even threw in a “Fabulous!” Also, we had a specific conversation about kids with two moms and two dads, and he thinks there’s absolutely nothing weird about it. The words “totally normal” were invoked.
But all of that is circumstantial. The real proof that Frozen turned my son gay arrived in photo evidence form on my wife’s Facebook account today. Will…you see…he was in the kitchen and…well, just see for yourself.
Yup. That’s right. Not only is my son addicted to cooking, he’s wearing an apron. WITH PINK STRINGS! Clearly the gay agenda has not only been normalized, it’s now in the water supply. Perhaps even airborne. Either way, it’s spreading.
This plague of thoughtfulness, tolerance, equality, respect, and basic human compassion is full on contagious, and our kids are being affected. If I’m not careful, my little boy could end up being the first generation who talks about marriage without having to put the word “gay” or “same-sex” in front of it. He could also become a victim of this redefined, PC version of modern masculinity, which places an emphasis on totally homo things like feelings, communication, and not drawing arbitrary lines in the sand based on things like gender roles and sexual orientation.
I’m sorry son. I’m sorry I’ve failed you as a father. As a parent. I’m sorry you’ve bought the hype from the liberal media that everyone should be equal and enjoy equal rights. I’m sorry you can’t see the abomination that is homosexuality, and the affront gay marriage poses to traditional marriage. I’m sorry I can’t protect you from movies that erode our social values by promoting messages of inclusion.
Indeed. How sad.