First of all, I want to take this opportunity to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. Especially MJ and my mom. You do so much for all of us and I hope you’re being appreciated today.
I know I made MJ breakfast in bed. A three-egg omelet with pepper jack cheese and green peppers, half a bagel, strawberry yogurt and a big ass cup of coffee. Then Will gave MJ a card he signed himself, and we presented her with three Pandora beads (thanks to my brother Nate on that one!). After I cleaned up the kitchen, I got her the Sunday newspaper and let her relax. It’s not much, but it’s all I can muster with an extra kid and an additional dog living with us this weekend.
But now, onto the Pillsbury contest. I know you’ve all been waiting with breathless anticipation for me to announce the winner, and now’s the time. It was a tough decisions based on the 11 thousands of entries that flooded this website, but I have it narrowed down. Let me start with the runner-ups, who unfortunately win nothing except my respect.
Rivka’s entry was definitely the longest and I liked it. But it felt like she was reaching slightly. And she seemed hesitant to incorporate fellatio into her haiku. Next time go right for the jugular Rivka.
Sarah’s entry nearly won simply because it was sexy. Seriously, I got a little worked up and had to take a cold shower. If it’s any consolation Sarah, MJ chose yours as the winner. But I just couldn’t, because…
Kate won with this gem:
Dough boy at nude beach
lays in sun for far too long
burned his wee doughnuts!!!
While it’s never a mistake to appeal to my horny side, nothing trumps funny and clever. And the combination of the Pillsbury Doughboy at a nude beach burning his little “doughnuts” cracked me up. Great stuff. So congratulations Kate. You’ve won unending fame, wealth beyond your wildest dreams and overwhelming prestige a cool collection of swag from a great company and I really appreciate you reading.
That goes for everyone out there. Thank you and have a great Mother’s Day!