I Want Another

The Daddy Files condo saw a population increase last weekend.

Our good friends Vic and Alicia had a wedding to go to in Virginia. So they asked us if we could look after their 3-year-old son Victor (who is also our godson), as well as their dog Muggles. So if you’re counting, that’s me, MJ, two 3-year-olds, two cats and two dogs. All in our 1,100-square-foot condo.

I have to admit, I was frazzled.

Sometimes I have all I can handle just with Will. Now here was Vic, a sweet and gentle giant of a kid (his dad is 6’4″), who is thrust in a strange place without his parents and on Will’s turf. I quickly discovered a few things that promptly drove me to drink:

  • You can give toddlers the exact same toys, yet they will STILL find a way to fight
  • Whining is contagious. If one starts, the other is sure to follow
  • Never—and I mean NEVER—buy/adopt a puggle

Will is an only child and as such we can’t help but lavish attention on him. So when I took some of that attention and paid it towards Vic, Will was not happy. He cried and he whined and he was just acting like an awful spoiled brat. I sent him to his room and put him in timeout more times this weekend than in the previous three months combined. There was hitting, biting, complaining, spilling, refusal to eat meals…all the while punctuated by a miniature hound of Satan who does nothing but bark in a crazed howling manner for prolonged periods of time.

My freak-out moment came when they couldn’t agree on a movie to watch. It was not my finest moment:

ME: “OK. Vic, what do you wanna watch?”

VIC: “How to Train Your Dragon.”

ME: “Will, do you wanna watch that movie?”

WILL (in hysterics): “NOOOO! I WANNA WATCH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!!”

ME: “Calm down Will. Alright. So Vic, can you watch Beauty and the Beast?”

VIC (also now in hysterics): “I WANNNNNT DRAGGGGOOOOOONNNN!”

ME: “OK, OK…how about we compromise and watch Cars instead?”

VIC & WILL (simultaneously whiny): “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

ME: “That’s it! No more. I’ve had it! You’re watching A Bug’s Life. And the first person who whines or leaves this bed is going to be fed to a dragon!”

I was DONE! But after I turned on the movie and spent a couple of minutes outside the room calming down, I poked my head back in and what I saw melted my heart.

Both kids were laying in our bed watching the movie. Will was trying to get comfortable but when he laid down he couldn’t see the TV. Vic noticed and, without saying a word, took one of his pillows and put it under Will’s head so he could prop himself up and watch the movie. Will responded with a sweet “Thanks Victor” and gave him a quick hug. Then they both went back to silently watching A Bug’s Life.

Having another kid in our house was frustrating, and I truly believe having just one kid is so much easier. All of the whining, fighting and battling really frayed my nerves and at times I felt like I was careening towards a mental breakdown. The whole experience really convinced me of one important thing:

I want another kid. Badly.

If there was any kind of fairness in the universe, Will would already have a brother or sister. Alexandra would be more than four months old today. Will would be used to feeding her bottles and telling her stories.

In a few months she’d get to crawling, then walking and soon we wouldn’t have to worry about Will sharing because she would’ve just started taking shit from him. Like all younger siblings, she would’ve started the fight, tricked him into getting in trouble and gotten off lightly. That’s how it was with my little brother Nate, and it would’ve really been something to watch Will transform from a self-centered toddler into a slightly less self-centered older brother.

So it was a tough weekend. Not only because I learned what life is like with another kid in the house, but also because we were reminded of what life is like without one.

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9 thoughts on “I Want Another

  1. This is such a great post and it brought tears to my eyes reading it. First off, don’t ever give up. I know a girl who has tried for probably the last 10 years to get pregnant and just found out recently that she’s expecting her first baby. I’ve heard so many good stories about couples who have tried and just never could get pregnant when out of the blue it happens and it all works out great. I know the road getting there is tough but I’m really certain it’ll work you for you and your wife as well.

    I desperately want another baby as well. Me and my man have been together 10 years and are just now having the baby talk on a serious note. It seems crazy since we each have a child from previous relationships (his is 13 and mine is 11) but I’d like for us to have a child of our own, even if it meant our youngest now would probably be in his last year of school or even first year of college by the time our baby would be starting kindergarten. We just both had our first kids at very young ages and now that we are grown up and settled, we realize our kids are growing up so fast and will be on their own before we know and we’ll miss all the little things about having kids at home. It seems scary in a way but we are both still young and I’m very excited to see what our future brings!

    Wishing you nothing but luck!

  2. You’d go crazy at my house. We have 10 people in 1150 sq feet. Yet this is probably the biggest place we’ve ever been in, so it seems roomy to us. :) Factor in kids’ ages from 4 to 20… Yes, it is blessed pandemonium. Oh, and add two dogs, an aged parakeet and about 20 cats trying to get in the door… You’d have to experience it to believe it. Did I mention we homeschool, I work from home and my only respite is going to the grocery store? LOL Hmmm… I guess you’d have to wonder if I’m still sane.

    That said, what a sweet moment you witnessed. Yes, kids can be annoying, whiny and even manipulative, but they can also be sweet, caring and adorable. Many blessings to you and your family; may you be joined by another little one soon.

  3. Puggles are the worst. My Boyfriends puggle craped on me once, like literally was sitting on my lap, farted and leaked shit on to my clothing.
    As for another kid, i would love to see you and MJ add another little one to the family. But speaking as an only child, it’s not so bad to just have one, and Will will appreciate that once he’s older(and see’s how much cool shit he gets to do by being an only child!).

    Good luck to you guys!!

  4. It’s the beagle in the puggle that makes them so horrible. I have a pug, and she’s the most mellow thing ever. GAH, beagles, GAH.

    Of course you want another one. Of course you do. I do, too. But as we’ve discussed, we’ll get there. I have faith that you’ll get there, too.

  5. I often baby sit for a friend who has a son 6 months younger than my son. I really don’t mind it at all. If they fight over a toy it leaves the environment. They entertain each other for the most part and I can accomplish more around the house. But I don’t not want another one as I have little patience and being a sometimes single parent of two vs. one when hubby is deployed doesn’t appeal to me. Neither does the whining, fighting, and whining. At the end of the day, he goes home. One thing I like about baby looking after Billy is that I can enjoy things with him that my son doesn’t like to do. (Like play at parks) But appreciate my son more and his quiet demeanor.

  6. Sometimes you have to just leave them with each other and let them work themselves out. I now “have” 2 boys and it takes some getting used to (my boyfriend’s kids). Yes, they are brothers, so they’re more used to each other, but the fights still happen. Glad you made it through. haha

  7. The good news is that in a few days the despicable celtics will be eliminated making you even more bitter like some Laker fans you know. ;)

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