If you’re from the Boston area and someone says that phrase with a thick Boston accent, it either means it’s time to get wild and have a few drinks with friends, or someone has to go to the bathroom.
In this case, it’s the latter.
So I took the sage advice of the majority of my readers and went out and bought a potty for Will. It’s been set up for a few days but we didn’t get around to trying it. Until last night. MJ was in the bathroom with Will getting ready for bath time and he started to play with the potty. Even though MJ didn’t think he’d do anything, she had him sit down on it just to get him familiar with it. But when he got up, she couldn’t believe her eyes.
He peed in the potty on his very first try.
MJ was so excited she started screaming “Daddy come here and look what Will did, quick!!” I thought he broke something else in our house so I trudged over to the bathroom. When I saw that he had peed in the potty, MJ and I started to rejoice like we just won the friggin lottery. Honestly, with the level of celebration going on you would’ve thought the Red Sox and Patriots had just simultaneously won their respective championships, a cure for Cancer was discovered and the New York Yankees plane had just crashed killing everyone on board. We were clapping, high-fiving and dancing around the bathroom like a bunch of freaks. It was great.
And just to prove it wasn’t a fluke, we put him on the potty for a second time this morning and BOOM — he peed again!
No parent truly knows when it happens, but there comes a point where you unwittingly cross some sort of line where the things that used to make you truly happy go on the back burner, while the accomplishments of your kids — no matter how tiny or trivial — bring about total and complete jubilation.
After all, we’re talking about piss here. We’re talking about me being overwhelmed with joy because my son pissed in a plastic toilet. When you step back and think about it rationally, it seems kind of silly. But every parent knows that a potty trained kid is a kid who doesn’t need diapers, and when parents can stop buying diapers it means you save a BUTTLOAD of money! But it’s more than that, it’s another milestone and a sign my little boy is becoming a little man.
And if we celebrated pee this heartily, can you imagine the scene when he takes his first dump? We’re going to hire clowns, set off fireworks and throw the kid a damn parade! The euphoria will probably last right up until the point where we realize one of us has to clean a pissy and shit filled potty.
Now I just have to teach him to pee standing up, how to aim properly and come winter we’ll be writing our names in the snow.