Keep Him Awake

Very few people love their jobs, and so it’s not uncommon to look forward to quittin’ time. While I genuinely enjoy my job (most of the time), there are times when it involves working a lot of nights. And that means leaving Will in the morning and not getting home until he’s already asleep.

I don’t think there’s anything I hate more than the days when that happens. He usually wakes up around 7 a.m. or so, about the time I’m getting up to take a shower. Then I have to walk the dogs, eat breakfast and I get a few minutes to play with him. Then it’s off to work. And if I’m working that night it’ll be a whole 24 hours before I can play with him again.

I hate those nights.

I really look forward to coming home. Especially now that he’s older. When I get home from work I find myself bounding up the walkway to our door instead of just walking. Then I open the door and that’s when the fun starts. He turns and looks at me, startled at first, but then his expression changes. He gets THE WIDEST grin on his face and starts flapping his arms and tries to stand up because he’s so excited. Then he races over to me and I pick him up and smother him with hugs and kisses. Then I toss him down on the couch and do the “Tickle Monster” where I tickle his belly and under his arms and he goes absolutely ballistic. He loves it. And I love that he loves it. I mean c’mon, how can you not love coming home to that?

So when I get home late, I’m always bummed. But I still sneak into his room and gently pick him up. He usually wakes up for a few seconds, then puts his head on my shoulder and falls back asleep. And I hold him for awhile, rocking back and forth and kissing his head and smelling him (hopefully MJ changed him before bed, otherwise the whole smelling him thing isn’t so endearing). Babies just have this smell I find intoxicating. It’s like mainlining pure innocence.

I can’t believe he’ll be 1 in less than two months. Time is a nasty little thief and even though I’ve been around a lot for Will, I can’t help but feel a little cheated. I just don’t want to miss a single thing, you know? And each night I have to work late I feel like I’m missing out.

Wow, I have to go now. I swear to God he just figured out how to lift the plastic cover off his highchair table and he dumped out all the Cheerios on the ground. Of course I get this first that involves cleaning instead of first steps or first words!