Kiss My Butt

I think it went right under the radar because of everything else that’s been going on, but we’ve started potty training Will.

And it sucks.

Today alone we went through a half dozen pairs of underwear. He pissed through five and took a huge dump in the sixth. I hate this. I’m very impatient and even though technically he’s making good progress, it’s not fast enough for me. I’ll admit, he’s fairly good about peeing in the potty. He’s gotten to the point where he tells us just before (but sometimes right as) he has to pee. So it’s not peeing that’s the problem.

We try to limit his diapers to nighttime only, so we’ve put constantly trying to force him on the potty to take a shit. So far it hasn’t gone well. In fact, he’s so rebellious and obstinate that he recently went 36 hours without dropping a deuce. During that span, as you can imagine, he was complaining about his stomach.

But today it’s like we hit the shit jackpot.

He can’t stop pooping. And worse than that, he’s pooping hard, golf ball-sized nuggets. I’m not sure how he’s physically passing these Gulliver-esque shitballs through his tiny bum, but I know it hurts him. And until today, when something has hurt him he’d always ask us to kiss it better.

Enjoy the video, and sorry about the quality.

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16 thoughts on “Kiss My Butt

  1. Oh I am sorry I feel ya. Aiden was the same way. He would wait until night time when we put a pull up on the poop. He never had pee pee accidents just poop. The only thing that worked was after trying all kinds of potty chairs, seats and the big toilet, the baby bjorn seat worked. And for the longest time he only pooped in that. And let me tell you I will take the golf balls to squisshy shit in a potty anyday!!!

  2. Oh boy…you guys are in MAJOR trouble 😉 And potty training sucks ass. I don’t even want to talk about it – I can go into a rage just telling you old stories.

  3. Use the old M&M trick. Give little Will a couple of M&Ms everytime he goes on the potty. Spend one full day with him doing this. Of course this will require a lot of effort but my guess is it will work. Try it. Let him know the reward at the start of the day. It will become a game of sorts with him and I assume he will like the M&Ms. Good Luck.

  4. if you get tummy trouble, try the trader joe’s sugar free chocolate as a “reward” for using the potty. it’s a TOTAL laxative. so he’ll poop more often, and not golfballs!

  5. Be careful he isn’t getting constipated…he may be holding it back some boys do this (doesn’t seem like the case here) but just in case, it comes back to bite him/her or you with lots of little had poos…or terrible tummy aches and then the fear of pooping because it hurts:(

    And def INCREASE fluids…sounds crazy but it’ll help him to learn fast…but remember, no hurry!

  6. LMAO! I love the responsible, dignified way you led him into repeating that over and over.

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