Me, Ancient???

On Thursday night I attended a dinner for work. Every year the company has a night out at a local restaurant to welcome all the interns. We’re supposed to talk and get to know each other and all that happy horseshit. So I went and I had MJ and Will meet me there. I really liked most of them and they seem like a great group. I had fun…right up until one of the little bastards made me feel old.

We were going around the table and they were all telling us how old they are. Most of them are seniors in college, somewhere around the age of 21. Then a few of them started asking the staff reporters how old they were. Except none of them were asking me. Feeling a little left out, I said “Doesn’t anyone want to guess how old I am?” At which point our news intern, who I will refer to as Satan from here on out, crippled me with a verbal parry that might as well have been a kick to the genitals.

“You’re married and you have a baby. You’re ancient.”

Ancient? ANCIENT?!??! Why you little…

I’d like to say I calmly replied with an appropriate verbal retort, gently reminding him that not all people with children are “ancient.” But instead, I think I said something like “Ancient?!!? I’m only 29 you little motherf*cker!!!”

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to prove I am anything but ancient. That night I stayed out and drank with all the interns to the point that I had to stay overnight at my buddy’s house in Hyannis. Unfortunately, that meant I spent my day off on Friday laying on the couch unable to move. But Saturday night I was back at it, and I attended a party until 2 a.m. after I got out of work. And not suprisingly, I was fighting off sleep all day yesterday.

In about five weeks I turn 30. And that never bothered me, until Thursday night when some smart ass 20-year-old intern turned my world upside down. Now I’m petrified of no longer being able to say I’m a 20-something and I feel like time is slipping away through my fingers.

After all, I feel like I was just in high school. Oh wait, that was 12 years ago. But college wasn’t so long ago, that’s where all my stories are from. Huh? I graduated from college eight years ago? Can someone check that math, it doesn’t seem right. I mean seriously, I”m a newlywed for God’s sake. Hmmmm…what’s that you say? I’ve been married more than 3 years now? Well shit.

How the hell did all this happen?

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13 thoughts on “Me, Ancient???

  1. Don’t worry. 30 is not the end, just the beginning of the end Pops. Your best defense against the feeling of being old is to hang out and make friends with people older than you. That way you are always the baby in the group and you can laugh when they get their AARP cards in the mail.

  2. I’m with WM. My wife is older, all our friends are older, and that makes me the baby of the group. Of course it doesn’t help since I work with 22 year olds and 28 year olds in NYC, and both view being married with a kid as old. Doh!

  3. The shoe fits old boy and the signs of aging are all there … better suck it up and get used to it ;p

  4. Yeah… So I’m turning 25 this year, hardly old. But I got the same thing from a girl at work the other day, who is 21. “I can’t believe all of you are so old… married and with kids and all that…” Shit, girl, I’m 24! That’s not old!!!!!

  5. Wait until you get the invitation to your 20th high school reunion! That just about sent me over the edge. I wasn’t bothered by turning 30 but I’ll be 40 next year and oh-my-freaking-god it’s killing me. I mean, 40 year olds are ADULTS!! I feel your pain. Just remember, denial can be your friend :)

  6. I thought only chicks worried about turning 30 ;) Guys aren’t supposed to care until 50. Ahh, it just gets worse when you have a kid, because time flies. I’m 43 and could care less. 50 will probably bug me, but maybe not. Our family ages really well and never stops acting like children, so it’s all good.

  7. I came to terms with my age when I realized how very little I like the “younger” generation. Much better a wise hag than a young moron.

  8. I still feel like college was just last month. I graduated 10 years ago in December. I thought 30 would bother me, but once it got here I didn’t care. I decided to take the view that I was lucky to make it to 30 with all the crap I pulled. That is something to be happy about.

  9. This blog was recomended to me a few days ago and I have spent every spare moment since catching up. Aaron you my dear friend, are too funny. Can’t wait to read more!

  10. The little shit! A lot of early 20-somethings think they know all and will never get older. Ha! the joke’s on them! I hardly think 30 is ancient, especially since 30 and I parted company awhile ago. It’s funny, but I don’t feel the age my years indicate. I’ve worked with people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. I enjoy each person for what they are, not how old or young they are. People can be interesting at any age because their experiences are different than mine. Enjoy your 30s and beyond. You’ve got some great years coming up!

  11. What do you care about what some wet behind the ears brat who probably doesn’t know who OJ Simpson is thinks? Life BEGINS after 30. I am 35 and I am happier and more fulfilled now then I ever was in my twenties.
    Screw ‘em!

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