M.I.L.F.

This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

MILF.

This term has been around for a long time now, but really came into prominence with the movie “American Pie” in the late 90′s. You should all already know what it means, but there’s probably a few people reading this who are thinking to themselves “What the hell is a MILF??” So for those living in a cave or trapped under a large boulder, MILF stands for Mom I’d Like to….well, if you can’t get the “F” word yourself then you’re hopeless. Another acceptable phrase is “Yummy Mummy.” I’m going on the assumption you get the picture.

This word made an appearance on yet another one of my parenting Web sites, and I was shocked to see that some women have a problem with it.

Why would any mother take offense to being called a MILF?? If anything, I see this as nothing but a ringing compliment from guys. In fact, I was thrilled when MJ got pregnant because that meant in 9 months I’d be married to a MILF! That means a woman recently put on weight, had a baby and after all of that she’s STILL hot. For those reasons and more, there is not much I can think of in terms of higher praise from the male sex than being labeled a MILF. So if you moms out there see guys leering at you while you’re pushing the stroller around, chances are you’re probably in the club. Don’t shy away from it, embrace it. Embrace the MILFness that is you!

And while I think the MILF label is fitting, I want to know why isn’t there an equivalent for dads? Fathers are always left out of this kind of stuff as if we don’t matter. I know I’ve written about this before but Father’s Day is nothing but an afterthought to Mother’s Day. Moms have “Mother’s Intuition” but do dads have something similar? Nope. In fact we are told more often than not that we don’t know what the hell we’re talking about. But back to the matter at hand…

I’m proposing an official name for fathers that lets us embrace our good looks, which of course only get better with age! While we don’t give birth, we do go through the whole ordeal with you and maybe we’d like some women drooling over us and giving us catchy nicknames. So without further ado, here are my suggestions for the male equivalent to MILF:

– DILF (Dad I’d Like to F–k):
This is, obviously, similar to the MILF and carries with it the same insinuations.

– DD (Doable Daddy)
I like this one because it also refers to breasts as well. For instance a woman checking out a hot dad could say “Mmmmmm…I’d let that DD play with these DDs anytime!”

– FILTH (Father I’d Like to Hump)
Self explanatory I think.

– DIDDO (Dad I’d Do)
Again, could be fun to use in a sentence such as a woman saying “Hey girlfriend, would you diddle that DIDDO over there?”

– PHAT (Papa’s Hot And Tempting)

So that’s all I could think of during my day off yesterday. But all you MILFs, Yummy Mummys, DDs and everyone else should feel free to suggest your own. C’mon people, get creative and wow me so I can steal it, claim it as my own and take all the credit.

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13 thoughts on “M.I.L.F.

  1. I LOVE DIDDO! That is the best… I cannot wait to show this article to my husband. And as far as the MILF comment, I think it is a huge compliment. My 13 year old told me a few months ago that a couple of her guy friends thought I was a MILF. She was mortified but I was jumping up and down with Joy. Just like Rudolph did when Clarice called him cute on that Christmas Special. My husband came home and I was still on cloud nine. “Honey I was called a MILF!” It is a nice compliment when you are 37 years old and feeling old……

  2. I’m DYIN!!! I’ve had this exact convo with my guy. We even came up with FILTH too, lol.

    The first time he called me a MILF I did feel like I should be offended (even though I wasn’t) so I told him that’s fine because if I’m a MILF that just makes him a Mothaf……. yea. See how that goes both ways?

    I’ve decided it’s one of those things that can’t be determined as an insult or a compliment without first considering the source,lol.

  3. @ Native

    Wasn’t it just a little odd coming from your 13 year old daughter in reference to 13 year old boys?? LOL That would skeeve me just a little.

  4. I think I should be called a HILF. H- for husband, ’cause I don’t have a kid yet.

  5. LOL.. those are some pretty good ones. I like the DD one the best. I am now calling my husband that. Love this blog

  6. For such a goofy looking bastard, you sure are spending a lot of time thinking up nicknames for attractive dads. Stick to titles you have an outside shot at having thrown your way. I’d say you’re more of a FILMS. Father I’d Lower My Standards for.

    Don’t like the plural thing? Call it having a case of the FILMS. You know, like the mumps. It’s not like it’d be the first time your looks have been compared to a painful disease. I should know. We can smell our own.

  7. I thought this was funny and then I read Bear’s comment- now it’s hilarious!

  8. Alright Bear, I liked it. But I’ll take it one step further.

    DIDUI (pronounced DID-WE) for Dad I’d Do Under the Influence. That way it sounds a little criminal, as in any woman who slept with a DIDUI would be committing some sort of crime.

  9. I love that. It works on a so many levels. You could use it as ‘dad I DID under the influence.’ The whole past tense thing- “Did we?” adds some of that just-woke-up-the-morning-after sort of flavor.

  10. Oh my hubby is so a Diddo… or any of the other ones… Never puts on weight standing at a 6’1 and 175pds. Its shame really he thinks I am a MILF and I wnat to be but with my third baby and his first i feel like a sack of potatoes. But on girls night out I get the occasionally MILF comment./ I think its because my face is pretty but they have no clue whats underneath ..LOL but hey I love the comments not offended at all. I actually go out with the girls to see if I get any.. Its a boost self esteem issue. My Hubby has to think I am a milf or he sleeps on the couch LOL

  11. I think if the MILK comment is over used then it becomes less meaningful.

    I hear that a lot…it’s the way it’s delivered that makes me feel like it’s true…

    I have only met one guy who is a Diddo…and he doesn’t even know my name…some soccer Dad with three kids…his wife is not a MILK as far as I am concerned, but I wonder if he tells her that? She’s a sweetheart and a good mom, makes me feel guilty what I think about her husband LOL…

    I am sure people think that about my hubby and I as well. I used to feel like his equal, after two kids, oh man…I look in the mirror now and feel like I traded my body in for a frumpy old maid…yuck!

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