MJ on a Roll

Everyone has bad days. And yesterday, MJ had her herself a doozy of a bad one.

First of all, Route 6 was closed for hours yesterday due to a fatal accident. For those who don’t know, Route 6 is the Cape’s only major highway and it runs from one end to the other. When it closes down, everyone is fucked. Luckily I don’t usually have to deal with it, but MJ commutes on it for 40 or so miles every single day. And yesterday it took her more than two hours to get home.

When she did get home, Will was not in a good mood. He was fussy and he’s started this new thing where he HATES to have his diaper changed. Finally MJ managed to pin him down and change it, and then they started walking toward the tub because it was bath time. He was throwing a fit and MJ was holding his hand and pulling him toward the bathroom. But he had other ideas.

In a fit of rage, he hurled himself backwards and to the ground. The only problem was he was still holding onto MJ’s hand. She was walking one way, he lurched violently in the opposite direction. MJ thought he was fine at first and she put him in the tub. But then she noticed he wasn’t using his left arm at all. Usually he reaches out and plays with his toys, and also tries to pull himself up to a standing position in the tub. He tried to do that, but couldn’t because something was obviously wrong with his arm. The poor thing was keeping it close to his body, obviously in pain.

So we called the pediatrician’s office and by some miracle of God, he was still in the office. So I shut off the stove (we still hadn’t eaten dinner), left the half-cooked fish in the oven and drove off to the pediatrician’s. He was really cool and he confirmed that Will had popped his elbow out of place. He said it’s actually pretty common with kids Will’s age. Before we could get ourselves too worked up, he told us to look away if we were queasy and went to work.

He took Will’s bad arm, straightened it out palm up, and then swiftly brought Will’s hand all the way up to his shoulder, bending at the elbow. There was a slight pop and Will cried in pain for a couple of seconds, and then he was fine. Just like that, popped back in place. I was amazed and told him I’d pass that trick on to my fellow mom and dad bloggers so they wouldn’t bother their own pediatricians with something they could fix themselves.

Once we were back home and put Will to bed, MJ and I were just watching TV and playing with the dog. We decided to give Haley some treats. We make her do little tricks before we give her any treats and this time was no different. She gave us high-fives, we put the treats on her nose and made her wait until we gave her permission to eat it. That kind of stuff.

Well I had a treat in my hand and I was making her sit still and wait until I gave it to her. But all of a sudden, MJ yelled out the command “FREE!” which means Haley is allowed to take the treat. Except I wasn’t ready and the dog ended up nipping my finger pretty hard. I got PISSED at MJ because you never give a dog a command when you’re not the one dealing with her at that particular time. I couldn’t blame the dog because “Free” is her release command.

I was so mad at threw the treat at MJ and asked her what the hell she thought she was doing. She was clearly in the wrong here, yet I received no apology. Just some bizarre “logic” of hers that there was no way she could have any idea that I would end up being bitten.

For her finale, we had this gem of a conversation:

MJ: “Hey, after I come back from western Mass in a couple of weeks we need to set aside some “us” time because there are things we really need to talk about.”

(I was taken aback because that’s my 30th birthday weekend and she’s apparently going away, and also because this sounds like bad news)

ME: “Well what do you want to talk about? If it’s important let’s talk now.”

MJ: “It is important, but I don’t want to talk now. That’s why I asked you to set time aside in two weeks.”

ME: (getting flustered) “Well if it’s important I don’t want to wait two weeks. Let’s make time now.”

MJ: (downright pissed) “I don’t want to talk now! It’s already 9:30 and I don’t want to be up until midnight getting into this.”

ME: (equally as pissed) “Well you can’t just put that ominous thing out there and then expect me to wait for two weeks. I will always make time for you first, so let’s just talk now if it’s important. This stuff shouldn’t wait.”

But wait it will, because she refused to open up about it. Which leaves me kind of freaked out because I have no idea what’s going through her head. Is she mad at me? Is she miserable? Is something wrong? All day long my job is get information out of people yet I can’t persuade my wife to have a simple conversation with me about whatever is bothering her.

She gets me so pissed off when she pulls this stuff. How many guys out there are not only willing, but begging to make time to talk about things with their wives? Not to mention the fact that she’s taking off on my birthday weekend to go celebrate her friend’s birthday in the Berkshires. That’s real nice.

The only silver lining is I used all of this as fuel to run another 5 miles along the Canal yesterday. I’m psyched for upcoming road races.

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13 thoughts on “MJ on a Roll

  1. Ouch … I winced when reading about Will getting his elbow popped … likely I would have fainted …

    Re MJ … welcome to the married men’s club.

  2. I hate it when my wife says that we’ll talk about it later.

    No. I want to talk about it NOW. I don’t want to worry and stress and freak out about something that can be resolved sooner.

  3. I NEVER bring anything up if I’m not ready to talk about it. I HATE it so much when people do that. If my husband pulled that I would sit around worrying that he’s going to ask for a divorce. Or another kid. Both equally appalling at this point, haha.

    I honestly don’t have any advice. Outside of reiterating that you feel scared and also hurt that she would do that to you.

  4. As much as I love MJ (and owe her for matching me up with my husband) I CANNOT stand when people say stuff like that! My former boss used to do that to me all the time and then I’d wonder…am I getting fired? Doing something wrong? and usually by the time I would bring it up again he’s forget what he meant to talk to me about. Come on MJ! Be fair! Don’t make him sweat it- it’s not worth the stress.

  5. Um…. Daddy Files.

    First, My soon to be ex husband did the same thing to Misch when Coco was a newborn and scared us to death. He didn’t mean to but pulled her off the floor and her arm gave. She couldn’t tell us but wouldn’t use her arm so he ended up at the emergency care clinic (coco being a newborn we couldn’t take them both)…. It is scary because you think it is broken or something but the doctors fix it so easily.

    Second – and this is a big one – THERE IS NO WAY you need to wait 2 weeks to figure out what she needs to talk about. There has to be some time between now and the weekend for you two to talk. I mean hire a babysitter for 2 hours and you two get in the car, drive to the end of the street and talk about whatever it is. By doing this she won’t ever do you that way again – that is for sure.

    Obviously she needs some training. I hate to say it that way but you CAN’T do people that way. EVERYONE knows that.

    The first thing people think of is there is a major relationship problem. You can’t have that on your shoulders for 2 freakin weeks? PLEASE get her to talk to you now. And I hope she doesn’t read your blog because I sound harsh saying ‘training’ but I mean it nicely. I do. But she does not need to do you that way, that alone is bad for your relationship. It is a control issue. And trust me, I know all about control issues.

  6. yikes, yikes, and more yikes. I wish I had something more helpful to say but I don’t. I’m sorta with Glamour Girl, I don’t think I would allow it. It just isn’t fair or even right, but it is your relationship and you need to do what ever you feel comfortable with. Keep us posted…

  7. I used to have a bad habit of starting a sentence and then saying “nevermind.” It would drive my husband nuts. I didn’t do it on purpose, but he finally got through to me that if I started a thought out loud and was talking to him, I should finish it. I feel the same after what MJ did to you. She started something out loud and should finish it. If someone told me to wait two weeks, I’d be insane. I’d worry and worry and worry. What MJ did to you was totally unfair, at least in my opinion. Every relationship is different and you must do what is right for yours. I hope everything works out.

  8. I am like you. If there is a problem address it NOW. Not wait for 2 weeks. I had an ex kinda like that. He got mad and wouldn’t talk for days. But me. If I am upset – I lay it ALL out there, we talk – get passed it – and move on. Tell these people to ‘Grow Up’

  9. I agree with everyone, Glamour Girls brings up the best points. What she is doing is wrong, and mean in my opinion. I am not sure about you, but I over think things WAY to much so I know if my boyfriend said we need to talk in two weeks they would be two of the worst weeks in my life. My mind would race to every single horrible situation possible raning from is he leaving me to is he cheating on me. You need to tell her how hard this is going to be on you for two weeks and refuse to allow her to make you wait. You are a person, with feelings, and no one should do that to someone. And, on a side note, I think it is very mean of her to be leaving you on your birthday weekend to go celebrate someone else’s. You are her husband, and that should make you her best friend and she should WANT to spend it with you instead. I think you are 100% justified to feel the way you feel right now.
    And…I am glad Will is feeling better.

  10. Well, I wouldn’t want to wait two weeks after somebody said something like that but…everybody is reacting like it must be a bad thing. Maybe it is a good thing and she is waiting for more info or confirmation or something. Maybe she just wanted to annoy you:-)
    Maybe she thinks she might be pregnant but doesn’t want to say anything until she knows for sure. Maybe it is a birthday surprise. I am more bothered that she is going to be out of town on your 30th birthday. My (now ex) husband did that to me.

  11. You know Chelsea, I was just wondering if maybe she’s setting me up for a birthday surprise. And technically my birthday is Monday, 8/17 so she’d be around on my bday. Also, I’d be working on Saturday night anyways. But on Sunday we’ll probably have a family party or something and I’d like my own wife to be around for that.

  12. I hope it is a Birthday Surprise! (And I really think that is a good chance.)
    Happy Birthday a bit in advance…you will love your thirties!

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