From time to time I like to empty my brain of all the little odds and ends floating around in there. Separately they don’t constitute a post, but together…well, it’s probably still not a great post but they can’t all be winners you know. Here’s what’s been kicking around in my head lately:
–> I don’t think I’ve ever been excited about anything in my life as much as Will nowadays when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on TV. As soon as he sees Mickey he lets out a ridiculously high-pitched scream, then runs in circles for 10-15 seconds around the room with a huge smile on his face. This morning he got so excited he ran into the wall.
–> A friend of mine from high school is a TV reporter at Fox news in Boston, and he and I were working on the same story Saturday night about a shoplifting ring run by a mother and daughter. My buddy told me when he tried to talk to the daughter, her boyfriend told him to get the hell out of there and then yelled “Suck my left nut!” Which begs the question, why, when people say that, is it always the left nut they want you to suck? Why not the right one? And for that matter, how is that an insult? You’re a heterosexual who’s mad at another man, so you tell the person at whom you’re angry to put one of your testicles in his mouth? Something is very off there.
–> I know I was a little hard on MJ last week with the whole farting thing, but yesterday I was reminded why she is the coolest chick on the planet. She told me how appreciative she was that I’ve picked up the majority of household chores and the responsibility of caring for Will almost by myself everyday, so she surprised me by signing us up for the HBO and Starz channel. Hello True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Big Love, and movies with swears and no commercials!!! For a couch potato like myself, it’s a dream come true.
–> Even though Will’s birthday isn’t for another week, we had a family party yesterday. It was great and once again, friends and family were way too generous with the gifts. And they also paid no mind to me and MJ when we said go easy on the gifts and avoid the big ones that make a lot of noise. EVERYTHING he received is loud. A remote controlled forklift that plays rock n roll music? A Chuck the Truck that responds to voice commands and also talks? Books that speak to you and make weird sounds? I swear to God, I’m pretty sure even the clothes he received have buttons that make noise. This is Karma’s way of getting even for all those years I was such a prick.
–> Went to a Boston Celtics game last night, and watched as the 20-something guy in front of me nearly got in a fist fight with an old guy there with his 3 kids. The father was mad because the younger guy swore at Rasheed Wallace for being lazy. So the dad, still in front of his kids, turns around and yells “If you don’t stop swearing I’m gonna turn around and punch you in the fucking face!” Hello pot, this is the kettle calling…
–> My son looks like me, but he’s got MJ’s personality. When he plays with his trucks, they all need to be lined up neatly in a row. When he eats, all of his food needs to remain separate on his plate. God help us all if the food touches. I, on the other hand, would be perfectly content eating my mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, corn and gravy all mixed together in one delicious lump, and my play time is decidedly more unorganized. Living with these OCD nutballs is going to be interesting.
–> What’s up with cell phones these days? If someone calls me and I don’t get it right away, my phone alerts me. Perhaps too much. First of all it flashes. Then when I get to it there are a plethora of icons to deal with. One shows me that I have a missed call. The other tells me what number it was that called. Then there’s an icon to let me know I have a voicemail. My only real incentive to answer my phone is so I don’t have to spend 10 minutes making sure all the annoying icons aren’t cluttering up my screen afterward.
–> I always hear people say they don’t trust the media, and some even accusers reporters of making things up. Yet I fielded a half dozen angry calls from readers this week concerning a picture we took of a memorial at a crash site set up by teenagers because one of their friends died. And included in the memorial was a full can of Budweiser. The angry callers wanted us to either Photoshop the beer can out, not include it in the picture or not run the picture at all. I repeat, they wanted me or the photographer to alter reality by taking it upon ourselves to change the scene. Do these people really want their local news media screwing around and doctoring photos?? Yet they accused me and the paper of promoting underage drinking and I was lambasted for days. Yet if someone found out we interfered, we’d be accused of doctoring the news. We can’t win.
–> And finally, my son reached a milestone of which I’m very proud. If you ask him about the New York Yankees, know what he says? “BOOOOOO Yankees!” I admit, I shed a tear when he mastered that phrase. He is now part of a family history that goes back many decades and generations, and from this point on he will proudly wear the badge of being a pinstriped Yankees hater.
Happy Monday guys, and remember it’s only six days to Opening Day at Fenway!