Mother’s Day = Stress

This post also appeared on in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

Now that Will has arrived, Mother’s Day just got a whole lot more complicated for me.

OK, here’s the deal:
We live in Bourne. MJ’s parents also live in Bourne just a couple of miles away. MJ’s dad and girlfriend live in Walpole which is an hour away. My parents live in Norton which is also a 45 minute hike. So whenever there’s a major holiday or mandatory day of getting together, it’s always a challenge to appease everybody. So before Will was born we’d either have to spend the day before Mother’s Day with one set of parents and then the actual day with the other. Or we could spend half the day traveling and hit the trio of parents all in one day.

And that was before Will was born. Now MJ is  a mother fully deserving of her own celebration. And just to make matters that much more complicated, my mother’s birthday is smack dab on Mother’s Day as well.

This leaves me in a tough situation.

On one hand I want to make this Mother’s Day special for MJ because it’s her first one. I know she reads this blog sometimes so I can’t give away what I want to do for her, but I do have something special in mind. I know she hates traveling but if we don’t travel then we don’t see everybody. But we can’t just stay home on Mother’s Day because 1) I want to see her mom and my mom and 2) It’s also my mom’s birthday and that’s just unskippable (yes, I made up the word unskippable just now). But her parents are working on Saturday so it’s going to be difficult to see them the night before, which means we might have to cram all the mothers into one celebration on Sunday.

So basically I’m screwed because someone is going to be unhappy whether it’s MJ who has to travel when she doesn’t feel like it, or her parents who might feel slighted by a Saturday visit, or my mom who may have to meet us at least halfway even though it’s Mother’s Day AND her birthday.

I just asked my wife what she wants to do and I got the most dreaded answer any guy can get: “Whatever. You plan something and I’ll be there.”

Gulp. I’m not a planner and I certainly don’t want to be in the middle of multiple mothers who all deserve equal and bountiful love and adoration on their special day. But with conflicting schedules, long drives and a potentially cranky infant I’m just not sure how to make everyone happy.

Anyone else go through something similar?

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3 thoughts on “Mother’s Day = Stress

  1. Yes, this always happens to us. My Dad and my stepmom, Bobby’s Mom, my mom, and Me….

    So this is how I did it. I consider myself a rookie. Even though I deserve a special hooray in the wake of becoming a new mom three years ago, I was still the rookie and my mom and other moms are also now grandmoms…

    With the addition of your mother’s birthday, I would celebrate her birthday and get her a card. And see when other moms can meet with you on another day.

    Also, keep in mind, there IS a grandparents day in September…So don’t go nuts with the cards…spread out it out;)

  2. Why don’t you plan something at your house and invite all of them there. They will understand traveling with a newborn is hard and then you can all be together. I would suggest making MJ priority number 1 all the other Mom’s have had previous Mother’s Days and and even your mom has had previous birthdays. I am sure everyone will understand.

  3. *donning my Solomon hat*

    Offer to cut yourself into equal pieces so each of them can have a part of you for that special day. Who ever is willing to sacrifice their time with you for the sake of keeping you whole is the one who’s wishes you should cater to first 😉

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