I don’t want to alarm any of you, but I think I may have some kind of mystical powers.
I’m not sure how this came about, but it’s definitely true. I first noticed it about a week ago during dinner. Everyone at the table had the same meal on their plates, but mine was different. I began to notice the food on my plate — although spooned from the same batch of dinner as both MJ and Will — tasted magically better. You might be doubting me, but it’s true.
I know this because Will refuses to eat food off his own plate.
Everything he eats has to be off my plate. Everything. Seemingly it’s the same food, but apparently my plate is laced with scrumptious flavorings that soak into the food and increase the overall tastiness of the food tenfold. You know those houses that have radiant heating in the floors so when you’re walking around barefoot you’re nice and toasty? Well this is the same thing, only my magic plate infuses food with such deliciousness that it is irresistible to my son.
I feel like Harry Potter when Dumbledore told him he was a wizard. Only I don’t do things like talk to snakes, play Quidditch or have uncomfortable homosexual exchanges with Ron Weasley. Nope, my magical powers involve me losing my dinner. Go figure.
I tried bestowing my magic plate upon Will so he wouldn’t keep stealing my food. But alas, it is a very specific type of magic and the spell is null and void if I attempt to pass my plate off to another. Will proved this by crying hysterically when I tried to give him my magic plate. Yup, the only way the magic plate works is if I continuously transfer my food onto his plate. Which gets messy when we’re talking about pasta.
Oh well. With great magical power comes great responsibility right? If I get to hang out with Hermione Granger it’ll all be worth it.