Since it’s Valentine’s Day, let me break down our love story “How I Met Your Mother” style…
Will, Sam, I’m gonna be honest with you. The very first memory I have of your mother involves her sticking her tongue down Jason Pierce’s throat. She was 12, it was a middle school dance, and it was hard to miss her because she was so damn tall. And skinny — all elbows and knees. But she and I weren’t friends and we didn’t talk because we were in different social circles.
And then she left and moved to Pennsylvania (and then eventually Cape Cod) for high school. I’m pretty sure neither one of us gave the other a second thought.
Fast forward to my first day of college orientation. I picked a tiny little mountain school in the Berkshires, in part because I wanted a fresh start with a whole group of people I didn’t know. So imagine my surprise when one of the first faces I saw was your mother’s. Except I barely recognized her. The girl who was all elbows and knees had grown up and into herself, and she was stunning. I tried chatting her up but she was quick to remind me that I had ignored her in middle school, and therefore I was banished to the friend zone.
And so it was for the next six years.
Not only didn’t your mother and I date, this time we did hang out in the same circles. That means she saw every bad dating decision and questionable hook-up I had in college. I gave up any and all hope of dating her, although I always wanted to.
In May 2004, your mom and I ended up at the same house party. Again, because I thought I had no shot with your mom, I had my eye on another girl. But a friend torpedoed me, which turned out to be the best thing that ever happened. Your mom (over the course of a few adult beverages) told me she always had a little crush on me. And I (over the course of even more adult beverages), responded with the romantic and immortal words that went on to forge the foundation of our relationship: “You’re a f*#@ing liar!”
Then we made out in back of a woodshed, and were engaged 8 months later. Well, 13 years and 8 months later.
I had no idea that at 11 years old I had just met my future wife. But just remember, sometimes the long and windy roads are the most rewarding.
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