Stop Doing That!

This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

Here is the transcript of the conversation that took place with MJ while I was at work tonight:

“Hello?
“I turned away for FIVE SECONDS and he rolled over!!”
“What? What do you mean?? What happened???”
“I was changing Will, I went to get a diaper, and by the time I turned around again he was on his stomach.”
“Wait…what? Is he OK? Why are you crying?”
“Because I missed it!”
“………..”

Here I thought my wife had him on the changing table, turned her back for an instant, at which point he rolled off the table and fell on the ground! I was grabbing my car keys and getting ready to head to the hospital fearing she had dropped him. But instead, she calls me at work — in tears — simply because she missed Will’s herculean roll over feat.

Now don’t get me wrong and please don’t think I’m an asshole, because my son’s milestones are important to me. But obviously not nearly as important as they are to MJ.

First of all, don’t scare me like that. I thought something happened to my son. Second, it’s not like he isn’t going to roll over a million times in the next few months. I just don’t get the big deal of not seeing it the very first time. I know parents who have been serving in Iraq and they get upset when they miss milestone moments, but that I can understand. They are physically removed from the situation and must feel very left out. But MJ is right here and she sees him everyday. She’s going to see him roll over and — more important — she knows that he CAN roll over now.

That’s good news. I’m proud of my boy for taking an important step in his development. But I’m not a mushy mess just because I didn’t see it. I have perspective. I know that I’m around him more than anyone except for MJ, and I will see this display of sheer athleticism sooner than later.

Women are a funny bunch I tell ya. It’s a good thing they’re soft and they smell nice.