This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.
I’m in somewhat of an argument with some of the women on one of my parenting Web sites.
It’s regarding women who get pregnant almost immediately after they give birth to their first child, even though they clearly aren’t ready to have another baby. Now I’m not talking about couples (or a single mom) with a good job, place to live and the means to care for children one way or another. I’m not talking about the people who planned for kids so close in age who are ready for the challenge, nor am I talking about the women on birth control who, for one reason or another, got pregnant despite taking precautionary measures.
But I’m shocked at the number of women who had just had babies in April, having more. The subject headings are “OMG can’t believe I’m pregnant again” or “How am I prego again so soon??” And then you click on some of these posts and you find that they weren’t even on birth control. Well common sense dictates that even if you’re breastfeeding that only reduces the chance of getting pregnant, it doesn’t eliminate it. So if you’re not on birth control and you’re having unprotected sex, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how it happened. And then they’ll go on to say that they’re on goverment assisted programs, don’t have any money and some of them are in less than stellar relationships or they don’t even have their own place to live.
It’s just crazy and annoying as hell that this happens. Yet I’ve personally seen these women who go out and get pregnant because they know there are taxpayer programs out there that will float them while they continue not to work and leech off the system. Again, this does not apply to the people in the categories I listed previously, but how can these women justify getting pregnant again when they’re clearly in no position to provide for more children?
My wife wouldn’t let me near her until she was able to go back on birth control, for this exact reason. While we would probably scrape by if we had another baby, it would be extremely difficult. We have no more room in our condo and we can’t sell and buy a bigger house right now. We’d both probably have to pick up another job each and that leaves no one to care for Will. And besides, we want to enjoy this time with Will before we start thinking about having another one. To have them so close together can really cheat the older child out of attention, at least in my opinion.
Some of the women said it’s none of my business, but I think it is. If they’re on welfare or other federally or state subsidized programs then it’s all of our business. Let’s just hope the women who act this way can stop popping babies out like they are human Pez dispensers!