Stupid Parents

Although we had a blast at the aquarium on Sunday, it was almost ruined by our train ride home.

In Boston, our subway is referred to as the “T” and it is a people watcher’s dream. Or, as is sometimes the case, a nightmare. I hate driving into the city because parking is so expensive. So we usually end up driving south of Boston and taking the Red line in. It’s cheaper, often quicker and almost always an educational experience.

On our way back, four people got on the train in South Boston (or “Southie” for those of you who only know Boston through the movie Good Will Hunting). Two men, two women and a ginormous baby in a stroller. Now when I say “men and women” it’s a little misleading because they couldn’t have been more than 19 or 20 years old. And as I listened to their conversations for the next 20 minutes, I had to fight the urge to steal their baby from them, throw them under the train and raise the kid myself.

First of all, before stepping onto the train the mom flicked her cigarette away. That’s strike one. Smoking when you have a kid is just something I won’t put up with. And I’m a former smoker! But when they got on the train, they began talking — loudly — about some things that I wish I had never heard.

First of all, the baby was no more than 7-8 months but she probably weighed as much as Will. To that end, the mom began discussing her recent conversation with the pediatrician. Apparently the doctor told her the baby was obese. However, in her infinite wisdom and no doubt tapping her years of medical experience, she boldly proclaimed she was going to ignore his remarks.

Actually what she said was “I’m like fuck that, the kid’s just big. Whateva. That guy’s a fuckin’ retahd anyway.”

Then, one of the girls asks one of the guys if he’s still dating his girlfriend. This esteemed gentleman was oh-so-charming in his reply as well. And just so you know I’m not being racist or anything, these kids were all lily white as driven snow. Ignorance is colorblind.

“Nah. I dumped her afta she got the abortion. Yo that was the best day eva dog. Thank God.”

First of all, you’re on a train. In public. With people around. Maybe the abortion conversation is best saved for later. Second, I understand mistakes happen and that’s why I’m pro choice. But to be happy about it?? I don’t care if you’re the man or the woman in that situation, an abortion is never something to be thrilled about. Unless you’re a deadbeat apparently.

But the saddest thing during this ignorant conversation was staring at the cute baby in the stroller and knowing she has no chance. I know that sounds horrible, but judging by her moronic wannabe gangsta parents the odds are stacked against her.

And I realized just how important upbringing is for a child. These idiotic people on the train are her parents. They are who this little girl is going to look up to and try to emulate. They will be her world until she’s older. They are responsible for educating her, teaching her morals and making sure she’s OK. And yes, they’re young and they probably weren’t planning on having a baby. I get that. I can only imagine how I would have acted trying to raise a baby at the age of 19. But you know what? I would’ve done it and I would’ve adjusted accordingly. I wouldn’t have been perfect, but I wouldn’t have smoked in front of her and I’d listen to my doctor when he tells me she’s obese.

It kills me because unless that little girl has saintly grandparents, other relatives or a teacher takes a special interest in her, she’s screwed. And then what will happen? That little girl will grow up to be just like her brain dead parents and the cycle will continue.

I was seriously depressed for hours following that train ride. Right now that little girl has all the potential in the world, but without a decent support network in place it will be moot. And there’s nothing sadder than wasted potential. That’s why it’s nice to come back here, to my Internet world of parent bloggers, who genuinely care about their children and work hard to make sure they have a good life.

Maybe next time I’ll drive in to Boston.

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14 thoughts on “Stupid Parents

  1. It always depresses me, too, when I see kids with parents like that. If you’re going to have a kid then you should at least TRY to grow up and be responsible. Hopefully someone will intervene, I know if a kid gets too obese now he/she can actually be taken away from his/her parents now.

  2. I think about bad parents a lot too. You see them everywhere and like you said the poor kids don’t have a chance. It is really sad.

    Don’t forget that \southie\ made an appearance in The Departed too.

    I too am a reformed smoker. I smoked for about 7 years and have been sans cigarettes now for almost 7 years. It is one of my proudest achievements.

  3. Sadly there are no qualifications for becoming a parent, and ignorance abounds. The child will have it rough, but miracles can happen. Like you said, responsible family or possibly a teacher may be her ray of hope.

  4. And we wonder why school budgets are so high, and why there are so many more social programs than there used to be…

    There is no substitute for responsible and good parenting. But we still have to try to help those who screw it – and the kids – all up.

  5. When I first opened this I was sitting here stunned, wondering how you found out, and so quickly, lol. My 5 year old was put in a cast from the fingers to the elbow today. Turns out that when he sprained his thumb a couple weeks ago, yea, he actually broke his little thumb and mom of the year over here has been letting him walk around like that. Right now I’m between castigating myself and choking the Dr who told us it was just a mild sprain.

    I’m, unfortunately, deeply aware of the cycle and the products of such. It’s much harder to break or to overcome than most people realize. We’ve had clients in shelter that actually had to be taught how to bathe properly. Some people do make it to adulthood without even the basic life skills. It’s sad. People that like to rake my agency over the coals for the services we provide never understand the cycle we’re up against or our desire to stop it.

  6. And look at the headline at Cape Cod Online: “Baby dies after attack, thrown from car.” Dirtbag throws his 17 year old girlfriends 3 month old out a window after fighting with her…… I read that right after your post. How sad.

  7. This makes me think of the times when I am out shopping or standing in line at the grocery store or DMV and it is feels like its about 90 degrees while you are waiting in line and you notice this poor little beet-red faced child buttoned up to the chin in a heavy winter coat strapped into a stroller and then you notice the parent is standing there in a t-shirt! Oh, and the kicker is the parent’s coat is usually hung over the stroller. Argh… mom always told me dress them as you dress yourself. If you’re comfy in a t-shirt chances are they will be too.

    BTW ~ I quit smoking 16 years ago and I fully admit that I am the WORST reformed smoker EVER! If you smoke and come near me, I will tell you that you stink! Kudos to all that have quit!!

  8. This is why I am such an advocate for becoming a foster parent if at all possible and better yet adopting out of the foster care system. It is a huge undertaking, yes, but if you have the heart and some of the means, then what a gift. You could donate money through your life to this charity or that, but do you feel like you really have made a difference? If you instead take a child under you wind and show them true love and caring, you will not only completely alter their future (how rewarding) but all those who that child’s life will touch.

  9. Yikes. That is just crazy. Although your post did make me miss my rides on the T. There is some crazy stuff you can overhear on there.

  10. It’s very sad. Kids don’t realize that their priorities, attitudes, and lifestyles need to change when they have a child. It’s now been over three years since I quit smoking cigarettes for the final time. I quit smoking after I had been dating my husband for a few months seeing that the relationship could lead to marriage and children down the road. There’ll always be times when I miss it but would never start again since I have a child who’ll be looking up to me whose health and welfare comes first.

    Wow, nativecapegirl reading what you wrote just about made me cry. I was never a very emotional person before I became a mother. It started when I was pregnant when those harmones made me an emotional wreck over anything or nothing at all and continues now with anything to do with kids. It’s pathetic now how easily I cry watching tv shows, lol. But I guess as a parent who loves their kid to death I can’t help but to relate anthing I see or read about kids to the proverbial “what-if” with mine and then we’re talking emotional wreckage.

  11. Yup…it’s parents like that that make all of us young parents deal with judging out in public. So annoying.

    It does make me sad to think about how that baby will grow up but I try to keep my thoughts hopeful. There are people who turn out normal even with the odds stacked against them. I don’t know if thinking this way is me being in denial of the truth, but it helps me get through the day.

  12. Oh, when I see parents smoking in front of their kids, my blood boils! My blood also boils when I see pathetic excuses for parents. I just want to grab the kid and run; that is, after I knock the loser parent out, but all you can do is hope that they have one decent role model in their life. Some survive despite all the odds.

    Yeah, drive in. It’s worth the 30 bucks.

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