Tag Archives: cheating

An Admission: I Cheated on My Wife

Usually it’s fun sharing personal moments with you on these pages. However, when I started this website I promised honesty. A raw, unfiltered look at parenting and marriage. So because it would be more than a little hypocritical of me not to address when I’ve made a terrible mistake, I’m owning up here.

I cheated on my wife.

I know it sounds cliche, but I didn’t set out to cheat. It just kind of happened. Marriage and parenting is a tough journey and somewhere along the line MJ and I just got…disconnected. I’m not making excuses for what I did, but let me describe the situation and you can honestly tell me if you think it looks familiar.

I’m a guy who likes certain things and let’s just say, without being too descriptive, alone time with MJ is one of them. I need it to feel close with her and to keep me sane. And when I go long periods without it, I…well, I take matters into my own hands.

I don’t want to get the gender police after me but seriously, what’s a red-blooded American male supposed to do?? I can’t sit there with overwhelming wants and needs with a wife who goes to bed at 9 pm and live like that forever. It just doesn’t work and honestly, I think it’s a little selfish of her to expect that it would.

The part that’s my fault is vowing I’d always be faithful no matter what. It’s easy to agree to that in the beginning when everything is new and you’re both super into it and you’re literally binging with one another. But eventually seasons pass and one person inevitably loses that drive, while the other wants more. Needs more. What then? What do you do when you’ve promised to only do it with one person, but then that person won’t make time for you?

It started with MJ and I getting into something a little kinky and weird. We were introduced to these women who are kind of naughty yet sexy, and they don’t get a lot of male attention because, well, they’re in prison. But even though MJ no longer wanted to make it a priority, she asked me to wait for her because she didn’t want me partaking without her. I agreed, but how is that fair???

So one night after she went to bed early and I was still up, I went ahead without her. I knew it was wrong, but if I’m being honest that kind of added to the excitement. Once I thought I heard her coming downstairs so I paused what I was doing and froze. If she had found me she would’ve KILLED me, but it turned out to be nothing so I kept going.

And I couldn’t stop.

Soon I was cheating on her with everyone and my cravings were feral and all over the map. I cheated on her with a wealthy family that had fallen on hard times, a professional football player with a checkered past, and even an undead woman with an appetite for human flesh. I was a maniac and I couldn’t stop, yet I had to fake being entertained with MJ on the rare occasions she did find herself in the mood.

Eventually the lying became too much and she smelled the guilt on me. When she confronted me and asked if I’d been unfaithful, I didn’t bother denying it. I just begged for her forgiveness and pleaded with her to give me a second chance.

I’m not sure how it will all work out and I’m trying to be better. But the urge to give in and have everything I desire all at once is so powerful. And I know for a fact I’m not alone in my infidelity, as 46% of couples fall victim as well.

So how about it, folks? Do you Netflix cheat on your significant other??

I was compensated with a free year of Netflix and an iPad for writing this post, but all opinions are my own.

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Fame, Not Gender Piques Adulterous Interest

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If you’re a married male celebrity these days, chances are you’re getting caught with your hand (among other body parts) in the proverbial cookie jar.

Infidelity perpetrated by rich, famous guys has been all the rage for quite some time now. From Tiger Woods to Mark Sanford, whenever one of the “beautiful people” steps outside his marriage it becomes HUGE news. Media from all over the country converge and the general public absorbs the gossip faster than Charlie Sheen bangs a 7-gram rock on bender. But have you ever wondered why it’s always the male cheaters who are excoriated in the press, while the litany of female adultresses goes largely unnoticed?

Tom Matlack has, and today he’s pointing out the hypocrisy of the double standard in his piece over at the Good Men Project.

In a lot of ways I agree with Tom. We’ve heard an awful lot about unfaithful men while female celebrity affairs are overlooked. Matlack highlights Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Charlie Sheen, Mark Sanford, John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer as men who have been caught, crucified and reviled for not being able to keep it in their pants when they’re not around their wives. Then he (correctly) points out the lack of fanfare following affairs by LeAnn Rimes, Tori Spelling, Ann Heche and Jennifer Lopez. Matlack then goes on to criticize Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love, for extolling the virtues of a woman leaving a stale marriage in order to go gallivanting around foreign countries indulging every sexual instinct that arises.

“Why do we have a national obsession with men’s infidelity? Is this some kind of backlash against the sex trade? A hidden gender war buried deep inside our collective subconscious? I just don’t get it, and it’s beginning to really piss me off.”

I get where Matlack is coming from. And at first glance, I agreed with just about everything he said. But then I thought about it some more and realized he’s missing a few very basic, but extremely important elements. Celebrity Cheating (a reality show in the making if ever there was one) does not become top-notch tabloid fodder based on the gender of the person who strayed. It’s totally based on the level of fame and the specific people involved.

Tiger Woods is the most obvious example.

Yes, if Tiger had simply cheated it would’ve been big news. But the reason it became OH-MY-GOD-DID-YOU-READ-THE-LATEST-ABOUT-TIGER news is because of who he was. A child prodigy golfer with a squeaky clean reputation for hard work, excellence and perfection. Both on and off the course. Tiger never said anything even remotely controversial during interviews, which is unbelievable since he is the most influential black athlete in a sport that’s known for being white as the driven snow. We grew up with Tiger. We rooted for Tiger. And we all knew about Tiger’s unbreakable bond with his father. This guy was a consummate professional in every sense of the word, and for all we knew he was just as sensational at being a husband and father as he was driving the ball at Augusta.

That’s why it was so unimaginable to hear about the first affair. Then the next woman. Then 10 more. The sudden shift from golf’s golden boy to degenerate sex addict, combined with the shady details of his car accident and alleged club to the head from his wife, made this story an unstoppable force.

Likewise with John Edwards. Here was a vice-presidential and presidential candidate with the world at his fingertips. And even though he lost, the world was sympathetic towards him because his wife, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with breast cancer. But then we find out he not only cheated on his wife, he fathered a child with another woman and then went to extreme lengths to lie about it. I repeat, the man fathered a baby with his mistress while his wife was dying of cancer.

And hell, let’s throw Brad Pitt into the mix as well. He’s married to one of the world’s hottest and most likable women in Jennifer Aniston. A woman most guys would cut off non-essential body parts just to be near. For Pitt to “upgrade,” there was really only one option. One woman hotter and sexier than Aniston. And amazingly, he went for her.

These stories were not spectacular and widely covered because all three were men. They were gargantuan deals because of the individual circumstances. The ultimate family man turned man-whore. A presidential candidate with a sick wife we were all pulling for turns into a condomless deviant with no regard for his dying wife. And the most beautiful couple in the world breaking up so he could bang the one woman hotter than she is.

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Now compare these stories to Matlack’s adulterous female counterparts.

LeAnn Rimes is a celebrity, but unless you’re a diehard fan she’s not uber-famous. Tori Spelling hasn’t been important since Donna Martin graduated from 90210. And Anne Heche? I asked my friend if he knew who that was and he said “Isn’t that the dude who married Ellen?”

My point is the general public doesn’t care enough about those women to get that upset. They’re famous, but certainly not on the level of our gentlemen philanderers. And in the end, they’re just not famous enough for people to care.

But I also have another theory.

I believe there are just as many female cheaters as men. Possibly more. But please take a look at how careless the men are. Tiger Woods actually left one of his mistresses a voicemail. WITH HIS NAME ON IT! John Edwards was so careless as to get his girlfriend pregnant. And Brad Pitt voluntarily shot a movie opposite Angelina Jolie. Of course he was going to cheat! That’s like walking into a room with a starved pit bull dressed in Lady Ga-Ga’s meat dress and not expecting to get hurt.

Women are much smarter about cheating. And a helluva lot more covert.

It’s rumored that Farrah Fawcett had an affair going for 11 years she managed to keep secret from Ryan O’Neal. Eleven years!! Now THAT’S how to have an affair. No voicemails, cell phone records or love child. Honestly I think it’s because men—whether they want to admit it or not—secretly want people to know about their conquests. Even the ones they aren’t supposed to have. But women, for the most part, are still very wary of being labeled a “slut” or “home-wrecker.” Thus the secrecy.

But whatever the explanation is, I think the level of public outrage concerning cheaters is more about fame than gender.

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