The Super Bowl is all about excess. And I love it.

Unless the New England Patriots are playing, it’s not really the game I’m into. Don’t get me wrong, I love football and I’ll be pulling for the New Orleans Saints this year because the hatred I have for that hayseed Peyton Manning knows no bounds. But ultimately, the football game is not what the Super Bowl means to me anymore.

You see, I’m married. With a kid. And therefore I’ve made a conscious decision to devote 99% of my life to my family and work. I change diapers, I read Dr. Suess books and I watch The Wiggles. And when I’m not doing those things, I’m at work. And I’m happy about that. Truly happy. I love being a husband and father, and although I gripe about it sometimes, I love my job. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

But every so often, I need to be unleashed into the wild for a night of debauchery.

It’s like the show LOST when they enter the code every 108 minutes so the whole island doesn’t blow up. Except instead of every 108 minutes, I blow off steam 3-4 times a year in the form of a good old-fashioned sloppy boozefest with my friends.

So on Sunday, I’ll be headed back to my old stomping grounds in Boston to hang out with my old roommates, Jay and Stav. Simply put, they are two of the craziest/funniest/wackiest/drunkest motherfuckers I have ever met in my life. I lived with them for two years and had the most fun I’ll ever have next to college. We all love sports, beer (Busch only) and we have the same fucked up sense of humor. Well, Jay has a similar sense of humor. I’m pretty sure Stav doesn’t know what we’re laughing at, but that’s OK because no one has ever made me laugh harder than him.

Like the time I came home from work and there was a dog bowl in the kitchen, filled with dog food. I asked if we got a dog and they said no, but they thought it would be funny if we made everyone think we did. And then Stav put on the leash and ate the dog food. Or how we built bleachers to mirror Fenway Park right in our apartment, complete with the famed red seat out in right field to honor Ted Williams. We opened a beer and left it there for Ted’s frozen head before every game. Hell, the first weekend after I moved in nearly featured a full blown gang fight that took place between us and a former roommate’s posse right in our kitchen. No party was ever official until Stav was wearing just his Starbucks apron and Jay took a dump with the door open. Truthfully, I think I’ve seen the two of them naked more times than my own wife.

But I digress.

The point is, the Super Bowl is so important because it allows me to remember — however briefly — what it was like before my life revolved around others. Some may think that sounds incredibly selfish, but it’s not. I’m totally devoted to my family and I’m a damn good dad and husband. But every once in a while I need a day that reminds me of what it was like to go crazy and get a little out of control.

So tomorrow, my buddy Alex (TheBear) and I will check into a Boston hotel room, grab a cab and drink copious amount of alcohol. In short, we will be shitfaced beyond belief. It will be the latest in a series of Super Bowls held at their house, dating back to 2003 when the Patriots beat the Panthers and I ended up putting my arm through a plate glass window while bleeding all over the walls and declaring myself a Super Bowl champion in the middle of a drunken hook-up. We will tell old stories like the time Jay and I convinced two girls at a bar we were contract killers. Or when Stav drunkenly challenged an Asian kid to a dance-off at the bar…and won.

And sure the night may end with me vomiting profusely and wishing for death the next morning. But make no mistake, it’ll be well worth it. Not to mention it’ll make me thankful I’m now so much calmer, rational and mature.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare myself for the ice luge and bone up on my Beer Pong skills.

GO SAINTS!

But this year will feature something much more offensive.

Tim Tebow — Mr. Super Christian Homeschooled Heisman winner and soon to be NFL flop — will appear in a 30-second ad with his mother, during which time they are expected to deliver an antiabortion message. The $2.5 million spot is being paid for by the ultra right wing group Focus on the Family, and represents a marked departure from the long held CBS policy that did not allow advocacy ads of any kind. Tebow’s mother is expected to talk about how doctors told her to have an abortion due to a medical condition that could have killed her and the baby prior to birth, and how she ignored their advice and ended up giving birth to a quarterback.

Look, let’s get a few things straight right off the bat.

I am pro choice. Very much so. I don’t agree with Tim Tebow’s views on pretty much anything. However, this is America and everyone has a right to voice their own opinions. I’m glad things worked out for Mrs. Tebow and I admire the courage it took to go forward with the pregnancy, even at the risk of dying. So I have no issues with Tebow expressing a different viewpoint.

My problem is with CBS and their disgusting hypocrisy.

For as long as anyone can remember, commercials aired during the Super Bowl have been rhetoric-free. Sure they included over the top fictitious linebackers, annoying frogs, “Mean” soda pitchmen and — worst of all — the “Wassssup” douchebags, but the great thing about it was the absence of political ads and commercials that advocated for ANY particular cause.

Now, largely because of the floundering economy, CBS has suddenly and completely sold out reversed course and changed it’s policy on advocacy ads. But if only it were that simple.

You see, their policy revision is hardly all-encompassing. Because while they’re allowing Focus on the Family — a religious organization that is unabashedly pro life and against gays — they’ve rejected an ad from a business that runs a gay dating site called ManCrunch. Apparently the ad was of two male football fans watching a game together. Their hands touch in the potato chip bowl and they then proceed to comically make out. But despite the decision by CBS to allow the antiabortion Tebow ad, they refused to air the commercial for a gay dating site.

And by doing that, CBS has sent a clear message to the world. By aligning themselves with a fundamentalist conservative religious group they’ve made it clear they have one set of rules for the religious right, and a much different set for the various left-leaning organizations who they have repeatedly shut out of the biggest advertising opportunity of the year.

How about in 2004 when the United Church of Christ came to the network with an ad that showed a gay couple being turned away from a church, only to come to the UCC and be accepted? The tagline was “Jesus didn’t turn people away. Neither do we.” This message of inclusion, acceptance and love for all was turned down. A commercial that promoted respect for all people, regardless of things like sexual orientation, was disallowed because it didn’t fit the standards of CBS.

Meanwhile Tim Tebow’s mother is guilting women everywhere in an attempt to convince them that a perfectly legal medical procedure that could save a mother’s life under certain circumstances, is really a shameful endeavor. Also some people are now questioning the veracity of Mrs. Tebow’s story.

The Tebows were in the Philippines at the time of Tim Tebow’s birth. And abortion is illegal there under ALL circumstances. Even when the mother’s life is at stake. Doctors who advocate or perform abortions, as well as the offending mother, are subject to criminal prosecution and a hefty six years in prison. Would a doctor advise an abortion at the risk of spending the next six years in jail? Notorious attorney Gloria Allred doesn’t think so, and is threatening to file complaints with the FTC and FCC is the ad airs without mentioning that abortions in the Philippines were illegal at the time.

But getting back to the main point, Focus on the Family’s slogan is “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.” Yet, as Michael Rowe of the Huffington Post points out, the group contributed $727,000 to help pass Proposition 8 in California, which effectively robs gay people of their legal right to become a family. Sorry, but that’s not celebrating family. It’s discrimination and an attempt to destroy them.

CBS made a bad decision by allowing Tebow and his homophobic moneymen a spot on the air during the Super Bowl, while simultaneously turning down a perfectly acceptable ad from a gay dating site. Besides, the Super Bowl should remain a place where we drink beer, watch scantily clad people parade around and enjoy the last NFL action for seven months.

And to think I now long for the days of erectile dysfunction and talking frogs.

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]]> http://www.daddyfiles.com/2010/02/04/abort-tim-tebows-ad/feed/ 15 http://www.daddyfiles.com/2009/09/15/pondering-the-pats/ http://www.daddyfiles.com/2009/09/15/pondering-the-pats/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:57:00 +0000 DaddyFiles1 http://www.daddyfiles.com/?p=1763

Photo from Boston.com

This is a blog about being a first-time dad. I know this. But since it’s my blog and I can do whatever I damn well please, I’m starting a weekly segment where I can dissect the most recent Patriots game and get my sports fix. And since I know many of you out there are sports fans as well, you can join me if you’d like.

Yesterday was great. We got back from PA around noon so I had time to psych myself up for the game with my dad, who had the day off. Three generations of Gouveia men sat down and watched the Patriots 2001 Super Bowl dvd and it was great. The Snow Game, the ass whooping we put on the Steelers in the AFC Championship game and finally the Silence of the Rams and Vinatieri’s 48-yard game-winning field goal. I know I’ve said this before, but I CANNOT WAIT until Will is old enough to go to games. It’s going to be great.

Also, as many of you know, I’m lucky in that my dad has had season tickets to the Patriots for more than 30 years. That means I got to go last night! It was special because it was Tom Brady’s first game back from an injury in the season-opener last year, and they were honoring the best Patriots from the team’s last 50 years.

But once the game started I grew concerned. I was sure — and I mean POSITIVE — that the Pats would come out throwing. I’d thought they’d unleash Tom Brady and pummel the Bills secondary. I was wrong. Instead, we came out running the ball and throwing lots of underneath passes and screens. I thought the play calling was suspect to begin with, but then they ran Maroney left on 4th and inches and were predictably stuffed. The Patriots NEVER fail on 4th down. I was worried.

Actually, worried is an understatement. I was screaming obscenities, lamenting the fact that we were losing to a 2nd tier QB, a back-up running back and a slew of Bills who had never even played a professional regular season game before. The thought of being 0-1 and heading to the Meadowlands next week was making me physically ill, as was the coaching and play calling up to that point.

That worry continued all the way to the 4th quarter, when victory looked impossible because the Patriots were trailing 24-13 with 5:32 left in the game. But they still had three timeouts and Brady began leading them down the field in the cool, calm and collected manner we’ve all come to expect. And finally — FINALLY — the offense started hitting on all cylinders. With 2:06 left Brady found TE Ben Watson down the middle on a post route for a touchdown. And there was life.

Now the question was go for an onside kick or kick it away. With three timeouts remaining, Belichick opted to kick away. A wise decision. The Buffalo returner inexplicably took the kick out of the end zone and Brandon Meriweather/Pierre Woods made him pay. He fumbled and kicker Stephen Gostkowski — THE KICKER!!!!! — recovered the football.

From there, it was vintage Brady. He hit Watson for another touchdown on the VERY SAME PLAY as before, but this time it was even more impressive because Watson was covered and Brady had to throw it to his back shoulder where Watson made a FANTASTIC catch.

Although we pulled this game out of our asses and a win surely is a win, I’m concerned.

First of all Jerod Mayo was hurt and we don’t know how bad. He’s the captain of the defense now and to lose him is huge. Gargantuan! Mammoth even. And let’s face it, the defense wasn’t great. They let Edwards throw for two TDs. They let backup RB Fred Jackson be very effective running the ball and as a receiver. They did a good job of minimizing Terrell Owen and Lee Evans, but what’s going to happen when the Pats face a real offense?

Also, I heard a lot of Pats fans bitching about the costly penalty on Adalius Thomas for roughing the QB but that was the right call. The whistle had clearly blown and Thomas then slammed Edwards to the ground. It was a dumb play by Thomas who should know better.

Now I have to add a non-game related tidbit that only the people at the game could see.

Apparently Kraft Sports Productions has an in-house broadcasting team and they had this woman Kristina Akra doing live, in-game announcements during breaks. She was AWFUL!!! First of all she was talking way too fast and because of the PA system no one could understand what the hell she was saying. Second, her voice is obnoxious. She sounds like a chipmunk being tortured. Why the Krafts would pay this woman to torture fans of one of the most expensive tickets in the NFL is beyond me.

But by the third quarter, fans had enough. When she popped on the jumbo tron for the final time the entire stadium started to boo her. It was actually kind of amazing to see 68,000 fans become collectively irritated and irate at the exact same time and turn on someone in unison. You could see Akra smiling nervously as she tried to continue through the boos but they ended up cutting the segment short before the fans in the front row tarred and feathered her.

The Krafts better realize that the real fans don’t care about the fact that our football stadium is now a friggin mall. We don’t want to see movie times scrolling across the scoreboard during games. We don’t care about Bass Pro Shop and all the places we can shop when the last whistle is blown. We want football and that’s it! No annoying and screechy blonde bimbos unless they’re carrying pom poms and bending over. No “Fan Cams” showing idiots cheering when the Patriots are down by 11 with 5 minutes left in the game. It’s football for God’s sake!!!! You want to show something on the screen, how about more replays of big plays instead of the Papa Gino’s Delivery of the Game!?!

This is an organization that charges upwards of $5,000 just for a season ticket holder to transfer the name on the season tickets. You heard me. Just to change the friggin name on the account costs $5,000 per ticket. Parking costs $40. Beers cost $8. Our tickets are around $100 per seat, and we have the cheap ones in the end zone. Is it too much to ask that for three hours you keep annoying chicks off the big screen and focus on all things football??

Next week I travel to New Jersey to watch the Patriots take part in an annual tradition that consists of my team tearing apart the J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! from limb to limb.

GO PATS!