Tag Archives: husband

I Don’t Love My Kids More Than My Wife

morelessI love my wife. I love my kids. But which one do I love more?

Strangely enough, that’s a question people are actually tackling because of a recent study that found 75% of mothers openly admit they love their kids more than their spouses. But if you ask me, I think the entire conversation is a load of crap.

I do not love my kids more than my wife. I don’t love my wife more than my kids either. I love them each in very different ways, but I love them all completely and equally. And I think even attempting to quantify or rank that love is pointless, hurtful, and potentially harmful.

My family is my world. My wife is the most beautiful, caring, sexy, sensational person on the planet and I’m madly in love with her. My kids are a source of unimaginable joy and my life is enriched in countless ways with them in it. But they are a package deal, and asking me to choose which one I love more borders on the ridiculous.

Which begs the question, what are these moms in the survey thinking?

Click here to read the rest on iVillage!

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5 Things My Sons Need to Know to Avoid Bad Marriages

badmarriage“Dad, when should you get married?”

The question stopped me in tracks — mainly because Will is only 5 years old. As it turns out, Will has an adorable and sweet classmate who has informed him (not asked him mind you, but TOLD him) they’ll be getting married one day. So naturally he wants to know at what point that day will come. But more than that, he is curious about how you know when you’re supposed to marry someone.

My marriage to MJ isn’t perfect, mainly because I’m not perfect and neither is she. And we’re not even 100% perfect for each other because no one is. But while you don’t have to love EVERYTHING about the person you marry, I’m going to tell my son there are some basic requirements — some building blocks that create a foundation for a successful marriage.

I’m no marriage expert, but it is critically important to me that my sons not only look for what makes them happy, but to be able to identify some common red flags of what NOT to look for so they can avoid a bad marriage.

Continue reading 5 Things My Sons Need to Know to Avoid Bad Marriages

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Don’t Let Anyone Tell You “Marriage Isn’t For You”

our-weddingA writer named Seth Adam Smith recently penned an article called “Marriage Isn’t for You.” It has since gone viral and you can’t swing a divorce lawyer without stumbling upon it somewhere.

Seth, who has been married for a whopping 18 months to his high school sweetheart, basically says marriage is all about making the other person happy. He talks about selflessness as the key to a successful marriage, writing things like “No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love,” and “Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.”

He even had a talk with his dad — which served as a turning point for Seth — in which his father dished out these gems.

“Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

Judging from the sheer number of you who gushed about this article on Facebook, I can see it struck a chord with many of you. Me? I thought it was an absolute crock. And a dangerous one at that.

Continue reading Don’t Let Anyone Tell You “Marriage Isn’t For You”

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If I Die, Give My Wife Some Breadsticks

breadsticks“If I died, would you get remarried?”

I’m sure that’s a question all married couples have tackled at some point. The “What would happen if…” game can be an interesting peek into the mind of your soul mate, but when you have kids it takes on added importance. Mainly because you want to know that if something happens to you, your partner will be able to carry on and take care of him/herself as well as the kids.

So when MJ asked me this question out of the blue, it was actually pretty timely. Our wedding anniversary is coming up soon, and I was thinking a lot about her and how much I care about her. And yes, I admit, the macabre side of me had begun to think about what would happen if I lost her. So I took a deep breath and answered her with what was genuinely in my heart.

“Would I get remarried if I lost you? Honestly, no. I wouldn’t. And I don’t say that to score points with you now or kiss your ass — I mean it. There are a whole bunch of reasons I married you, but first and foremost it’s because I’ve never loved someone like I love you. I’ve never loved so hard, so much, so completely, so passionately that sometimes the line between loving you and wanting to throw you off a balcony is blurred. I’ve never been so fulfilled by another human being in my whole life. I’ll never be as comfortable with anyone else as I am with you. No other woman could imprint herself onto my soul like you have. Besides, trying to find someone as gorgeous as you — someone who I see day in and day out yet still gets me worked up like a horny teenager just looking in your direction — would be absolutely impossible. 

You’ve ruined me forever. I’m no good to any other woman except for you. Trying to get remarried would be fruitless because it’d be like getting to have the Mona Lisa in my living room and then having to settle for dogs playing poker. Like driving a Ferrari and then being forced behind the wheel of an ’84 Buick Skylark. Like eating at the Olive Garden after traveling to Italy and feasting on the best Italian food in the world.

You are my world. And if my world is gone I’ll carry on for Will, but my heart will be closed off to any future romance because no matter how great she is, she’ll never be you.”

I know, right? Quite a soliloquy if I do say so myself. I looked at her with a smile, confident I had just bowled her over with my passion. And then, thinking I knew the answer already and that it mirrored mine, I asked her if she’d remarry if something ever happened to me. Her response?

“Oh hell yes. Sorry, but I love Olive Garden and I’ll be needing some breadsticks.”

Happy freaking anniversary.

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A ConTEXTual Misunderstanding

My wife and I are different in almost every single way.

Seriously. I’m not just blowing smoke or trotting out tired cliches for the hell of it. We’re polar opposites. I’m a hard news guy, she gets her news from Inside Edition and Entertainment Tonight. I like country music and Irish tunes, she’d rather listen to Nickelback and Creed. We take separate vacations because she needs to go someplace sunny, warm and near the ocean, but I melt and become miserable after 5 minutes on the sand.

But the biggest difference between us is the general, fundamental way our minds operate. In short, I’m a sane person with a logical thought process while I can only imagine MJ’s head contains juggling bears on unicycles with circus music blaring.

Which brings us to the latest drama in the Daddy Files household. I was having a shitty day and MJ and I were trading texts. Well, instead of influencing your opinion one way or the other, I’ll let you see the texts for yourself and then you can pick a side.

 

OK, there it is. Exactly as it happened. One minute we’re talking about having a bad day, and the next thing you know I have a completely random text that says “We have another one coming.” Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, if you were me and had received that text, what would you think that meant?

I thought we were having another baby!!!!

I called MJ up all excited — albeit slightly annoyed she chose to tell me such monumental news via text message — and ready to celebrate as this is something we’ve been trying for for a long time. So imagine my surprise when MJ seemed not to have any idea what the hell I was talking about. Incredulous, I read her back the text she had sent to me. And that’s when she uttered the most nonsensical thing I’ve ever heard.

“I’m not pregnant. I was talking about Will’s birthday party. Another one of his friends RSVPed and we have one more coming.”

I love MJ. To death. But HOW THE HELL WOULD ANY SANE PERSON FIGURE THAT OUT?!?! My wife doesn’t seem to comprehend the fact that thinking something in her own head does not give others the ability to telepathically see what she’s thinking. So when she up and changes the subject in mid-conversation (thanks ADD!), she believes that everyone else has jumped ship with her. I, on the other hand, engage in normal, human conversations that proceed logically from one point to the next.

Needless to say, our marital conversations are a real treat for anyone witnessing them.

Later that night I learned this phenomenon isn’t just relegated to me and MJ. I related the story to my parents expecting both of them to understand and commiserate with me. So I told the story, but when I got to the “We have one more coming” comment, something interesting happened.

My father’s eyes immediately went wide and he said “ARE YOU PREGNANT???” But that was followed by my mother who inexplicably said “No you idiot, obviously she meant someone else is coming to Will’s birthday party!”

My dad and I looked at our wives, bewildered. Despite the fact that MJ’s text to me contained no context clues at all, they both believe it was perfectly clear what she was talking about. My dad and I went point by logical point through the argument of why nothing they were saying made a bit of sense, but it didn’t matter. Apparently women speak a dialect of crazy in which men like myself will never be fluent.

Which is probably a good thing, because if I ever operated on that plane of illogical lunacy, my head would explode.

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