I’m not going to go so far as to call Tommy a mistake or completely unplanned. MJ and I were considering a third but we decided to table the discussion for a few months so we could take stock of where we were and how things were going. I thought that was the smart, conservative, common sense play — especially because, well, I wasn’t exactly sure a third kid was what I wanted.
Two weeks and a couple of pink lines later, the decision had been made for me.
I was more than a little anxious at the thought of a third child. For starters, we lived in a rented duplex we had already outgrown with two kids. Second, I was unhappy in my job and looking to make a move. But lastly, I had always planned on stopping at two kids. Two seemed manageable with man-to-man defense as opposed to being outnumbered and having to resort to zone. Not to mention all the studies that show parents of three kids are the most unhappy and stressed. I just thought it would be…a lot.
But all of that evaporated the second I held Tommy.
He was so chill and alert — eyes open from the start. And somehow I was 100% certain beyond all measure of a doubt that we hadn’t been complete until that very moment. I don’t know how all this stuff works or why it happens this way, as mysteries of the universe owe us no explanation. But I do know I had been worried for no reason because five seconds after holding him, I realized I hadn’t known what I had been missing until right then.
I was right about it being a lot, though. A lot of love. A lot of cuteness. A lot of Tommy’s fundamental awesomeness and his big personality that cracks me up every single day. A lot of brotherly devotion among all three of my boys. And a lot of dope-slapping myself for ever doubting it could be any other way.
And when Tommy arrived, so too did my resolve to improve our lot.
I got a new job the exact day he was born, that allowed me to work in public relations in Boston and join a fantastic group of people where I’m truly happy. From there, I worked my butt off to save enough money to buy a new house in a picturesque town with a wonderful school system where all my kids will thrive. We went from bursting at the seams and paying someone else’s rent to each kid having his own bedroom and even a little yard in which to play.
In a way, it was Tommy who inspired me and gave me the push to be the best version of myself I could be.
So to Tommy, I say #ThanksBaby. Thanks for making me realize I don’t always know what I’m talking about and surprises can be fantastic instead of frightening. As someone who LOVES to be right more than just about anything, it’s been the pleasure of my life to have been so wrong.
Sunday is Father’s Day and I’ve partnered with Pampers on their #ThanksBaby campaign. In addition to this post and some great stuff from me and other dads on social media, we’re also hosting a Twitter chat on June 17 at 8 pm EST, where you could win a VISA gift card worth $250.
Also, please check out and share this amazing video from Pampers honoring dads.
Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Pampers for this campaign, but as always, all opinions are my own.