Tag Archives: parenting

My Son Is Reunited With His Long Lost Lovey

Monkey has been Will’s friend, constant companion, confidant, and protector since before his first birthday. With soft “fur” on the top and a red, satin material on the bottom, Monkey was the perfect lovey for cuddling. And Will had a deep bond with it.

I didn’t realize how deep until a few months ago when Monkey went missing.

I knew telling him Monkey was gone would be bad, but I didn’t realize just how much it would affect him. He was crushed. Beyond that, really. The repercussions from losing Monkey got so bad it started to negatively impact his school work and his social behavior. At first I was worried we weren’t doing a good enough job providing that to him ourselves as parents, but in talking with other moms and dads they reported similar stories of deep and very real bonds with stuffed animals, security blankets, etc.

I thought we had turned a corner and moved on, but a recent show & tell for Will’s kindergarten class brought back a flood of loss and grieving. Stuffed Animal Day was pretty traumatic in this household, and it led to lots of tears and tapping right back into that reservoir of sadness.

In my head the solution was easy. It was time for Dad’s Dose of Tough Love. Move on, kid. There are plenty of other stuffed animals. Monkey isn’t real. You’re too big for loveys anyways. MJ did not think it was advisable, but I didn’t see any other alternative. Plus, I kind of thought losing Monkey was a blessing in disguise since I would’ve had to take it away at some point anyway.

But then Will caught me off guard and, once again, showed me what an idiot I am.

“Dad, can I ask people on Facebook if they’ve seen Monkey? Like with missing kids?”

This was the result. It broke my heart.

My wife (who is so much smarter than I am) tried to tell me losing Monkey was like losing a friend, but I just couldn’t see it. Until that video. His pleas devastated me and his words were daggers into my cold heart, as I realized I had been downplaying my son’s very real emotional trauma.

But then came the phone call from my parents, and the realization that the universe tends to work shit out on its own whilst dispensing lessons that should be obvious but often aren’t.

But instead of telling you about it, have a look at the moment two good friends were reunited. I dare you not to cry.

His look of joy and relief made my Grinch heart grow multiple sizes that day. Because I realized anything that makes my son that happy and secure can’t be a bad thing. Hell, my wife brought her favorite stuffed animals to college. I brought my sports collectibles too. Really, it’s no different.

So long lost friends are once again reunited, and a peace has settled over the Daddy Files estate. And one stubborn dad in southeastern Massachusetts has been shown his way isn’t the only way, and he has lots to learn when it comes to parenting.

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My Son Hates Baseball

willbaseball

“Dad, I don’t think I like baseball and I don’t want to play anymore.”

Except for Will saying he doesn’t love me or that he’s become a New York sports fan, nothing uttered from my 6-year-old’s lips stings as much as my boy — my oldest son — telling me he doesn’t want to partake in America’s pastime. My father’s pastime. My pastime.

And the first thing that ran through my head was “How can I raise a kid who doesn’t like baseball?”

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The Chair: How I Learned to Love My Second Child

samchair

Enough time has passed that I can share something about which I felt a metric ton of shame — I struggled to bond with Sam after he was born.

And nothing epitomized my struggle more than that goddamned chair.

Like Sam, the chair arrived in our lives last summer after a ton of turmoil. But unlike our little bundle of joy, bringing the chair into our home was not a mutual decision. You see, MJ wanted a comfortable rocking chair to go in the nursery. Nothing crazy, just a rocker made of soft yet durable material next to the crib for those late and sleepless nights. I, on the other hand, thought the room was too small, a chair unnecessary, and spending extra money we didn’t have on a chair we didn’t need was a bad idea.

So naturally we bought the chair.

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Do What You Love, Kid

willdance

One of my greatest fears is passing down my laundry list of insecurities to my children.

Will, who turns 6 next week and is in the throes of kindergarten, loves music and loves to dance. Well, he used to love to dance. I’m still not sure what happened, but at some point in the not-too-distant past, he became extremely self-conscious about it. Now he’s convinced he’s a terrible dancer and — even though he admits he loves it — thinks any attempt to dance will just end with him embarrassing himself.

I was heartbroken. And just like that, I was transported back to the panicked fragility that constituted my youth.

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19 Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

fingerscrossedI’m a good parent. And I lie to my kids.

The lying isn’t what makes me a good parent, but it doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bad one either. Because you lie to your kids too. I know you do. And if you say you don’t, you’re a dirty goddamned liar.

We lie to our children for a multitude of reasons. Because we want to protect them. Because we don’t always know the right answer. And yes, because sometimes we’re lazy.

There’s a difference between lying to kids specifically to hurt them, and little white lies. The latter is the result of taking care of tiny humans who inevitably drive you to your breaking point and threaten to send you careening over the edge.

So with that mind, here are 19 common lies parents tell their kids.

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