The Daddy Files

Will was in the bathroom dropping the Cleveland Browns off at the Super Bowl. And from the sound of it, they had a pretty tough road through the playoffs to get to the big game because it sounded like Will was wrestling an elephant in there. And suddenly he called out to me. “Daddy, Daddy! Come quick. Come look at my poop!” I didn’t give it a second thought. I was up in a flash and headed to the bathroom, my curiosity thoroughly piqued. MJ—looking as horrified and disgusted as is humanly possible—stood up and firmly objected. “You can’t be serious. Why are you going in there to look at poop? What the hell is wrong with you??” “Are you kidding?” I asked incredulously. “I have to go check it out. What if it’s something awesome? You only have a handful of truly memorable poops and this could be his first one. I’m going in there. You should come too.” She walked away muttering something about disgusting men and lamenting the fact that she lives with heathens, but I stand by it. [...]