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Faithful readers of this blog no doubt recall my repeated attempts to lose weight. Well, it’s time to add one more to that list.
Allow me to introduce you to The Fat Guy Foundation.
My buddy Alex (and possibly my friend Jim if he doesn’t wuss out) have started this as a way to kill several birds with one stone. First of all, we’re fat. And we’d like to be not so fat. But since we can’t seem to accomplish that goal on our own and we both thrive on cutthroat competition, we’ve made a little game out of it. We each set goals and whoever comes the closest to their goal by April 1 (no this isn’t an elaborate April Fool’s joke) wins.
But in addition to helping ourselves, we’re also trying to help others.
People (that means you guys if you’re so inclined) can bet on us. Kind of like race horses. Well, fat race horses who can’t make it around the track anyways. If you back the right horse (pick me, pick me!) and you pledged the most money, you will be able to choose where all the donations go. Each of us has picked three possible charities to choose from and the winner gets to choose one of them. At that point everyone who pledged money is on the honor system to send their donations.
My charities are the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America (MJ has Crohn’s and it is a BITCH), the National Multiple Sclerosis Foundation (my aunt and my grandfather had it and so does my mother-in-law) and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (because I’m a huge puss and I love dogs).
So for the next 11 weeks or so we’ll updating our progress regularly, talking a shitload of smack and trying to lose as much weight as we can while simultaneously raising as much money as possible for causes that are near and dear to us. It’s a win-win if you ask me. And, not to brag, but it’s a well known fact that fat people funnier than most, and we don’t disappoint. We are two witty motherfuckers and we will keep you entertained.
That entertainment will also include our good friend, Army Sgt. Kelly Woerdeman, putting us through drills. On video. On video that will then be posted on the site so you can laugh at us, mock us and watch us vomit profusely.
So I want to make this my official plea to all of you out there in various nether regions of the Internet. I want you to go to this site, leave a comment and bet on me. Because I will win. I started at 248 lbs and on Day 4 of the competition I had already lost 8 lbs. And that’s just by eating right, I haven’t even started working out yet. But when I do, I’m going to run my ass off. I don’t have my gym membership anymore, but I have Wii Fit and I know how to modify workouts so I can do them at home.
But if you’re not sold on me, check out the other guys. The important thing is to help a fat guy, make a contribution to a worthy cause and feel good about helping the obese and the needy. In my case, I’m needy AND obese so you’re really helping.
And if you can’t donate, that’s cool. Times are tough. But what you can do is re-post this on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and any other social media site that could help us out.
Thanks guys, and again, I hope you’ll pick me as your representative fat guy. I’m Fat Guy Daddy Files and I approve this message.