The “Oh Boy Doughboy” Giveaway

Yes, that's a Pillsbury snuggie that says "This is How I Roll!"

Cheap imitations and forgeries are prevalent in our society. Happiness, moon landings, orgasms…all of these things can be convincingly replicated. Except the orgasms of MJ and every other woman I’ve been with of course. How many of us have bought knock-off designer handbags, watches or clothing? And I’ll be that number increases if we’re talking about buying generic stuff, like buying the soda that just says “COLA” instead of Coke.

But dear readers, there are some things that cannot be faked. Items for which there simply aren’t any substitutes. When only the real thing will do.

In our house, it’s Pillsbury products.

MJ is very, very frugal. When she can cut corners, she always does. Yet when it comes to Pillsbury and their mouth-watering breads and cinnamon rolls, Pillsbury is the only option. She won’t buy the cheap imitators. MJ swears you can taste a world of difference, and I agree with her.

Now you guys know I don’t do many product reviews, because I really have to be able to stand behind whatever is being pitched. And these products are in our house CONSTANTLY, so I have absolutely no qualms about shouting their virtues from the rooftop.

And lucky for all of you, I’m also going to take this opportunity to do my first giveaway. Pillsbury is offering to give one lucky winner a Mother’s Day gift basket (with a few dad items thrown in), to one of my readers absolutely free. The basket will include fleece lounge pants, golf balls with the Doughboy emblazoned on them, lunch sack, oven mitt, apron and some free cinnamon rolls.

It might be a little late for Mother’s Day, but better late than never.

Some other dad bloggers are doing a similar giveaway. While they are nice sane people, I am, well…not. So I’m going to make you work for it. And shamelessly exploit this to promote myself in the process. So here’s the deal:

  • First you need to sign up as a fan of Daddy Files on Facebook by clicking here. I swear I’ll check. I’m petty like that.
  • Second, I want you to write up a Pillsbury inspired haiku in the comments section here. If you’re unfamiliar with this Japanese poetry, it’s a short three-line poem. The first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 and the third has 5.
  • Third, keep in mind I’m the judge and I’m a sick puppy. Make it funny, creative, dirty…I don’t care, but make it good.
  • Lastly, all entries must be received by Friday, May 6 at 11 p.m. EST. Yup, that’s tomorrow. So get going.

May the best doughboy win!

***For full disclosure: Pillsbury provided me with a gift pack of my own. They did not pay me or influence me in any way, and as always all opinions are my own.

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11 thoughts on “The “Oh Boy Doughboy” Giveaway

  1. Dough boy at nude beach
    lays in sun for far too long
    burned his wee doughnuts!!!

  2. Been eating your buns
    They made me a fat bastard
    So give me free stuff

    I know, I know – I’m not eligible. Besides, it sucks.

  3. You may not poke it
    This dough-boy tummy of mine
    And now i’m hungry.

  4. I pull apart rolls
    licking deep into the folds
    of the tasty bread

    Then, swallow it whole
    Let it take over my soul
    Goes right to my head
    (alternatively: like really good head)

    But the bread, it calls
    If only I had the balls
    I would cram it in

    I know it would be
    like heaven, absolutely–
    A throat orgasm!

    Sugar on the buns
    It melts down the warm soft globes
    Getting them sticky

    So, just for some fun
    Share them with your Number One
    But frost them thickly

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