This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.
Will would not stop fussing one day last week, so MJ decided to break out one of the seemingly hundreds of DVDs we received before he was born.
Now I had heard about Baby Einstein from a lot of people. It’s popularity was evident when we received the entire collection. I never had the opportunity to check it out, so we figured we’d pop one in and see what all the hoopla is about.
Will absolutely loved it!! He was transfixed and completely silent, taking in every sight and sound. For those of you who don’t know, Baby Einstein videos are supposed to help children be little geniuses and they capture kids’ attention by using bright colors, loud noises, etc. Basically it’s a bunch of sock puppets making baby noises at each other and then the screen explodes in sky blues, or bright yellows and then soothing sounds come on. And Will took to it like a junkie to a crack pipe!
And speaking of drugs, I’m now convinced some savvy businessman could make a fortune selling these DVDs to stoned college kids. Some of the videos are really trippy and although they don’t always make sense, you just can’t stop watching them. And pretty soon you’re hypnotized as they cast a spell over you. I could just picture sitting around with my friends back in college when if I smoked pot, giggling and laughing and being in total awe of the sock puppets who I’m sure would’ve given me a brand new revelation about life.
But more important, I realized that very soon, the TV will no longer be my own. It will belong to Will. So instead of SportsCenter, Red Sox games and my favorite sitcoms I have a feeling I’m going to be watching the complete collection of Baby Einstein as my brain slowly turns to mush and I lose the ability to think rationally.
I just hope that whole Teletubbies fad is over because I watched them once and they scared the hell out of me. Seriously, those things are evil. No doubt led by Tinkie Winkie, the one Jerry Falwell accused of being gay and promoting the homosexual agenda.