This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.
I’ve recently joined www.whattoexpect.com and I like it so far. But I found my first little shred of controversy when a mother was berating the husband of some other woman on the board, who dared watch television while holding his baby. Here’s the snippet:
UNPLUG the darn thing. I hate tv for this reason. I am glad DH (dear husband) is not like that. He is just too grateful she is here, Plus he works like 60 hours a week and barely gets to see her.
You spoil a toddler not a baby. Babies need attention we as mothers know this. Kick their a$$. SERIOUSLY. remind them that this is a bad habit and there is a time and place to watch TV,
Take a stand. Even if they are great dads. Come on we women can get them to do most things for us, lets try to get them to understand the reason behind what we are thinking. If they don;t threaten to sell the darn thing. I would.lol
The post was bothersome for a variety of reasons.
First of all, never joke about selling a man’s television. Never! How about I joke about barring women from shoe stores or make-up counters?
Second, why is watching TV with our babies bad? I happen to watch hours of TV with Will and I wouldn’t change a thing. Most of the time we watch Red Sox games. I sit him up on my lap facing the TV and I explain the game to him. If he gets fussy I get up and walk around for a bit, feed him, change him, etc. But I like bonding with him and I don’t think it’s a bad things just because it happens to be in front of the TV. It’s not like he’s old enough to go play outside, so the TV is fine for now.
Sure anything in excess is usually bad, but as long as we’re not overdoing it it’s fine. It’s certainly not something that needs to be unplugged or sold. This is just another small example of how arrogant moms can be, thinking they and they alone know what’s best for the baby. Instead of coming down on us, how about trying to understand where we’re coming from and what we’re trying to do?
And frankly, I need TV in my life. TV is an escape when I need to take a 30 minute break from reality. Maybe it’s SportsCenter or my favorite re-runs like King of Queens, Seinfeld, Still Standing, House or Scrubs. As long as I’m not neglecting my child or the household duties, I should be able to watch TV whenever the hell I feel like it. And I certainly shouldn’t have to put up with nagging about how my TV should be sold (note my wife is not like this at all, I’m just speaking hypothetically).
And lastly, it’s hilarious that the woman wrote “let’s try to get them to understand the reason behind what we are thinking.” Reason? REASON???? I don’t think we should be using the words “reason” and “women” in the same sentence. Nothing against all the women and moms out there, but reasonable is not the personality trait I would put at the top of your list. In fact, I’ll make the bold statement and go with “chaotic,” “nuts” and “handful of pills crazy” before “reasonable” ever sees the light of day. The bottom line is that women are not hindered by logic, and even the most ardent feminist out there would have a hard time disputing that one.
So cut us some slack on the TV thing moms. We just might have a method to our madness.