Right now it is 3:30 a.m. and I officially hate my child.
Yeah, yeah…it’s not politically correct for a parent to say they hate their child. But I don’t give a shit, because at this moment in time it’s 100% true.
For the last week he’s been a nightmare sleepwise. He’s gone from a baby who consistently sleeps through the night, to one who doesn’t slumber for more than three hours at a time. Bed at 8 p.m., wake up at 11 p.m. for a bottle. Back to sleep at 11:30 and up again shortly after 2 a.m. Usually he’ll sleep til 4 or 5 a.m. but tonight, he woke up at 2 and hasn’t gone back to sleep.
I’ve given him a bottle, I’ve changed his diaper, I’ve rocked him, I’ve even tried letting him sleep with us….NOTHING WORKS! I know he’s teething and he’s also got a diaper rash. But I honestly don’t think those are the reasons he’s up. Because as soon as we’re in the room he stops crying and he’s all smiles. But the minute we lay him down in his crib or leave the room, he freaks out.
He wails like a maniac. And when the frantic wailing stops, it’s replaced by consistently annoying moaning and screaming. The whining starts slow and quietly, but rapidly crescendos to a top-of-his-lungs cry at the end. And that noise is put on a repeating loop for hours on end. Tonight I finally just gave up and now he’s playing with all his toys and I’m wide awake out in the livingroom.
To be blunt, this fucking sucks. I know other kids are probably worse and maybe this is a taste of what other parents went through, but it’s goddamn terrible and I’m losing my mind. I hate this because I can say with full certainty that I no longer like my child when the sun goes down. He is a demon. He is a shuteye stealing ghoul disguised as an angel-faced bundle of joy. Right now I wish we had a bigger house for no other reason than I could lock him in a room, shut the door and not have to hear him. But seeing as we have no upstairs or downstairs, I’m stuck listening to him wherever he is in the house and I’ve reached my breaking point.
I think I’ll get a bottle of whiskey now. I’m not sure whether I’m going to drink the whiskey so I’ll pass out or line his gums with it so he passes out. I’ll let you know the outcome later this morning!