Welcome to Rock Bottom

Right now it is 3:30 a.m. and I officially hate my child.

Yeah, yeah…it’s not politically correct for a parent to say they hate their child. But I don’t give a shit, because at this moment in time it’s 100% true.

For the last week he’s been a nightmare sleepwise. He’s gone from a baby who consistently sleeps through the night, to one who doesn’t slumber for more than three hours at a time. Bed at 8 p.m., wake up at 11 p.m. for a bottle. Back to sleep at 11:30 and up again shortly after 2 a.m. Usually he’ll sleep til 4 or 5 a.m. but tonight, he woke up at 2 and hasn’t gone back to sleep.

I’ve given him a bottle, I’ve changed his diaper, I’ve rocked him, I’ve even tried letting him sleep with us….NOTHING WORKS! I know he’s teething and he’s also got a diaper rash. But I honestly don’t think those are the reasons he’s up. Because as soon as we’re in the room he stops crying and he’s all smiles. But the minute we lay him down in his crib or leave the room, he freaks out.

He wails like a maniac. And when the frantic wailing stops, it’s replaced by consistently annoying moaning and screaming. The whining starts slow and quietly, but rapidly crescendos to a top-of-his-lungs cry at the end. And that noise is put on a repeating loop for hours on end. Tonight I finally just gave up and now he’s playing with all his toys and I’m wide awake out in the livingroom.

To be blunt, this fucking sucks. I know other kids are probably worse and maybe this is a taste of what other parents went through, but it’s goddamn terrible and I’m losing my mind. I hate this because I can say with full certainty that I no longer like my child when the sun goes down. He is a demon. He is a shuteye stealing ghoul disguised as an angel-faced bundle of joy. Right now I wish we had a bigger house for no other reason than I could lock him in a room, shut the door and not have to hear him. But seeing as we have no upstairs or downstairs, I’m stuck listening to him wherever he is in the house and I’ve reached my breaking point.

I think I’ll get a bottle of whiskey now. I’m not sure whether I’m going to drink the whiskey so I’ll pass out or line his gums with it so he passes out. I’ll let you know the outcome later this morning!

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16 thoughts on “Welcome to Rock Bottom

  1. Nothing anyone ever tells you about having kids prepares you for what you went through last night- nothing! If my experience has taught me anything it’s that no matter how much it sucks it always changes before you actually do lose it. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more of Matt being up all night crying for what seemed like nothing he would stop and would sleep through the night for a few weeks. Hang in there!

  2. Wow. That sucks. I wish I had an answer-David wasn’t like that but he go slept with us for a long time which is was also distruptive.

    BUt when we did put him the crib he did the crying and screaming-and I hate to say it, it doesn’t get better unless you’re one of those lucky few. He still wakes in the night-either calling us from his room or tiptoeing into our bed EVERYNIGHT.

    He has bad dreams. When he doesn’t have a dream (1 time a year I think?) he sleeps through the night!

    The only thing I can suggest is tylenol if his teeth are the bad-maybe he will sleep a little bit longer? And night time rash ointment? A bath? I don’t know if you have tried all these things and if you have, man, I’m sorry…

  3. Remember these days when he’s a teenager and refuses to get out of bed!

  4. “…as soon as we’re in the room he stops crying and he’s all smiles. But the minute we lay him down in his crib or leave the room, he freaks out.”

    Todd does the same thing. Drives me bonkers! None of my others really did this as bad.

    “He is a shuteye stealing ghoul disguised as an angel-faced bundle of joy.”

    I’m totally using this. ;)

  5. I have to confess a certain amount of perverse satisfaction here…

    As we have told you a million times, you were a great kid – except at night. For those of you out there, Aaron did not sleep through the night once until he was 3-1/2 YEARS OLD! During the day he was this cute, friendly, personable baby – at night, he whined and screamed and simply would not sleep. I feel somewhat responsible for the situation here because of all those times I said “I hope you have a kid like this someday and find out what it’s like!”

    I think it is just the teething thing – hopefully it goes away soon. But I totally get the frustration. Frankly, you are lucky to be alive today.

    Now be nice to my grandson!

  6. Hi Aaron, I have to say I love your blog. I lurk. But I just wanted to let you know.. being a first time Mom to a 17month old who pulls the same crap atleast 2 times a month…you might want to have the Dr. check his ears.

    Our little “Sleep Terrorist” was doing that .. the ungodly screaming that wouldn’t abate under any circumstance… and it was an ear infection.

    They tend to go hand in hand with the teething in our son.

    Good Luck.

    Signed,
    Mommy drinks because you cry!!

  7. Gabriel was a by-the-book fabulous, on schedule, through the night sleeper until he figured out how to climb out of his crib at about 18 months old and starting coming into my room at around 3am. 3am turned into 2am to 1am to midnight to 11 to today, where most nights he just sleeps with me, and on the rare occasion that he DOES start off in his own bed, it only lasts for a couple hours, tops.

    It’s starting to drive me a little crazy, not to mention the fact that I think he’s getting a little too old (almost 3) to sleep with mom EVERY NIGHT.

    But.

    I can’t figure out how to fix it without losing a lot of sleep myself, and I can’t deal on sleep deprivation. So it goes on.

    I’m not a great mom, obviously.

  8. Oh-ear infections-of course! Didn’t htink of that-def get his ears checked-David had an ear infection with no fever and no symptoms other than being grumpy and not sleeping!

  9. You poor thing. Yes YOU. Screw the baby, you’re the suffering one. And sleep issues I understand and sympathize with tremendously. I’m not able to give you any good advice because it took until month 11 for Alex to NOT wake up every 1-3 hours each night. I nearly went insane. It was a horrible time for all of us here at Casa de la Sausage.

    Hope it fixes itself soon.

  10. Aaron, you didn’t sleep through the night until you were 2 1/2. Just remember that.

  11. So theoldguy says I didn’t sleep through the night until i was 3-1/2 and CalendarGirl (my mom) says 2-1/2. I smell a rat, you guys should really get your stories straight ahead of time.

    I think — in light of your obviously flawed testimony on these comments — that I was a perfect child who slept all night and crapped roses.

  12. Holy crap, Aaron! Our kids must be calling each other behind our backs to plan how they can make our nights hell. For the past 2 weeks, Zach won’t sleep more than 1 1/2 -2 hours at a stretch. Most of the time we’ll rock him back to sleep and the minute he’s placed in the crib he’s a screaming mainiac! I feel like I’m sleeping with one foot on the floor. It’s crazy!!

    I hope it’s just something they’re going through. Another tooth or something. Hope you get some shuteye soon!

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