“White Trash” or “Freaking Hysterical?” You Be the Judge!

I meet daily with two wonderful women as part of my reporter duties. Aside from readily supplying me with the information I need for my stories, they also serve as my sounding board for all things marriage and parent related. Namely, that means I tell them what’s going on in my life and they promptly take my wife’s side and call me an idiot.

Never was that more apparent than this morning when somehow we got on the topic of appropriate dress for babies. Although they told me babies should be dressed in Ralph Lauren and other foofy designer clothes, I disagreed. I told them I am somewhat of a connoisseur when it comes to awesome baby shirts. They asked me what I meant and here’s what I showed them, all courtesy of www.tshirthell.com:

Now I fully admit some of these should probably not be worn outside the home for varying reasons. But “Hung Like a Five Year Old” and “Daddy Drinks Because I Cry” and “Cuter Than Baby Jesus?” THOSE ARE HYSTERICAL! I laughed so hard it hurt when I first read them.

But when I looked at the two ladies and waited for them to double over in laughter, they simply stared at me with a disapproving look any husband is already very familiar with and shook their heads slowly from side to side. They were HORRIFIED that I’d ever consider dressing my kid in any of those shirts and promptly made fun of me for being “white trash.”

Yeah, if “white trash” is code for¬†totally hilarious then I am white trash.

But I think this one boils down to a difference between men and women. All of the guys and fathers I’ve showed these to have nearly¬†wet themselves laughing. And for good reason, they are funny as hell. But most of the women — including my wife — have been less than amused.

Granted, they are a little white trash. I’ll capitulate on that point. But it’s like 10% white trash, 90% funny as shit! And it’s not like I’d put Will in this shirt right before we take a family photo or anything. I just think it’s funny to wear around the house and when friends are over. What’s so wrong with that?

So I leave it to you, loyal Daddy Files readers, white trash or laugh yourself silly?

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35 thoughts on ““White Trash” or “Freaking Hysterical?” You Be the Judge!

  1. Laugh my balls off funny!!!!! There is nothing wrong with being a little white trash. I like NASCAR after all. Don’t think I’m giving my approval that you should cloth you beautiful child in them. Photos always happen and then your child uses them when he’s on Oprah telling the world that his father is crazy!!! Remember, he’s going to be a famous sports star. Do you really want these photo’s to surface just after he wins the Stanley Cup (I’m still hoping he plays hockey).

  2. Ughhh…Baby Gap. Talk about boring. Why not just make carbon copies of all babies and dress them exactly the same like sheep?

    At least these are witty, funny and memorable. I’d rather put the blowjob shirt on my son than have him looking like a Gap or Abercrombie & Fitch baby.

  3. My daughter has one that says, Mommy Remember that mouths don’t get pregnant.

  4. Since I’ve got no balls to laugh off, I’ll go with laughing my tits off. I always dressed my son in stuff like that, and I took him out!

    Hell, I even send him to school now with shirts that say things like, “Is it time for recess?” That shit kills me, and I am so not white trash!

  5. no, it does not boil down to a difference between men and women, it boils down to a difference between those that walk around with sticks up their asses and those that like to have a little lighthearted fun at the expense of their poor, helpless children every once in a while.

    : ). i’m the second one.

    i like the shirts that say, “i drink ’til i pass out” and “party at my crib, b.y.o.b.” – those are cute! and you gotta love the, “my daddy can kick YOUR daddy’s ass!” shirt!

  6. You know i love it!! but Al didnt quite find it appropriate for public, but hey im from NC!!i.e.WHITETRASH

  7. I think those shirts are hilarious. I’d totally let my kid wear one if I were a parent! Of course, I was raised in Louisiana so I may very well be white trash and just not realize it….

  8. I have been reading your blog for months. It’s a perfect snapshot of being a first time Dad. I am also a first time parent to a 9 month old boy.

    Anyhow, I am a woman who must be white trash because I find these shirts HILARIOUS. My son has a onesie with sperm on it that says “varsity swim team”. ha ha ha. I echo your statement that I would not dress him in said onesie for family photos, but it’s fu enough to wear to a party with friends. Live a little! Laugh alot!

    Keep up the great blog. It’s the highlight of my workday.

  9. OMG I think they are way to funny, Im goin to the site to purchase a couple as soon as Iam done with this comment…The only one I didn’t like was the shake me shirt (that happens alot and is really sad) But shoot I cant wait for the blowjob one!!!!Im goin to buy them and surprise my hubbie.

  10. I’m going with secretly funny. Only because there are those people who will see you in public and call your parents and tell them some contorted version of the shirt. Then you’re fielding parent phone calls/visits about YOUR parenting. But the drinking one is funny and I like the “Varsity Swim Team” from Lizzie. :)

  11. okay, the shirts are FUNNY, they are HILARIOUS, they are even CUTE, but on a baby??? are you out of your mind??? NOT APPROPRIATE, NOT even close to being APPROPRIATE! way over the top! you could step out of a Jaguar after leaving your mcmansion and if your child was wearing any one of these shirts you would still be White Trash! and special note to LOLA SAYS : take a look in the mirror: the reflection is a WHITE TRASH MOMMA!!!

  12. I think if you’re going to dress Will in that stuff, you ought to buy yourself similarly lewd phrases. Sure, they’re cute and funny, but who really wears that stuff (aside from 14-year-old boys, really wasted college guys, and women who think wearing a shirt that says, “Apple Booty” “Flirty” or something similar is appropriate)? If you wouldn’t wear THIS or something equally ‘hysterical’ in public, then you probably shouldn’t be subjecting your boy to “All Daddy wanted…”.

  13. Aww, it wouldn’t let me post the link. “Swallow, or it’s going in your eye” was the link I meant to include.

  14. The only reason I wouldn’t bring him out in public in a shirt like that, Melissa and RUKIDDINGME, is because of how tired I would become of hearing from people saying the same things you have said.

    I think those shirts are funny. And I’m not some uneducated hillbilly living in a trailer. I have a college degree, I’m an award winning journalist and I’m very intelligent. So the crack about “who wear shirts like that?” really doesn’t apply. A shirt with a funny/gross comment on it doesn’t denote intelligence.

    I think it boils down to a sense of humor. And I have one.

  15. then perhaps you should wear the tasteless, tacky, and inappropriate shirts and leave your angelic child wearing what his mother intends. BTW: having a college degree doesn’t mean you are right. it is not appropriate.

  16. I didn’t say having a college degree made me right, I was just stating the fact that I’m not dumb just because I find those shirts funny. But I’m wondering, what degree do you have that has all of a sudden given you the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not for everyone else?

    As you can see from some of the other comments, there are a bunch of people who also find them funny. Are they all “inappropriate” too? That’s a little judgmental don’t you think?

  17. I never thought you are dumb because you find those shirts funny. I think they are funny, I think they are hysterical. what I said is they are inappropriate.
    Recently I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said, “a woman’s place is sucking my dick” is that funny? or inappropriate? (hint: it’s inappropriate)

    I don’t have a “degree” that has “given [me] the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not for everyone else?” what I have is good taste.

    good taste is NEVER judgmental and NEVER out of style

  18. That bumper sticker is…well…can it be inappropriately hysterical???

    I don’t begrudge someone’s decision to not dress their kid in one of those shirts because it isn’t their taste. Everyone’s tastes are different. But I happen to think I have good taste in funny shirts, and these qualify. Bad taste, good taste…it’s all perception and personal preference.

  19. Aaron, you don’t honestly believe that, a bumper sticker reading, A woman’s place is sucking my dick … is NOT inappropriate??? do you want your 10 year old son to read that and think it’s okay? do you want a 7 year old girl reading it and thinking it’s okay? it is NOT okay! it is INAPPROPRIATE as are those shirts. for the exact same reasons, you can’t go around attempting to OFFEND somebody and hoping that they have the same WEIRD sense of humor you have. so, I pose this question: What does your mother think?

  20. good taste is not a personal preference. it is either IN GOOD TASTE or NOT

  21. His father thinks you take yourself way too seriously, and I’m pretty sure his mother does too. Good taste is always subjective. You do not have the final word on good taste. I would not put some of those shirts on Will and go out in public or private – but now I might be tempted to put one on him and drive by your house (if I knew who you were and where you lived) just to see the reaction! That’s probably bad taste though. That’s a joke, in case you are offended. Relax, will ya?

  22. I said the bumper sticker is inappropriate. But I can’t help it, it made me laugh. Would I have it on the back of my car? No, I wouldn’t. Would I want my son reading it? Nope. Do I think that particular sticker belongs on a car? Personally, no. But freedom of speech is freedom of speech, inappropriate or not.

    But the shirts are different. Namely I said I probably wouldn’t take him out of the house wearing some of them. So what’s inappropriate about him wearing them in front of parents, or non-offendable family?

    And I completely disagree about good taste. It’s subjective. There is no “good taste handbook” that delineates all good taste. Some of it is common sense and the rest IS personal preference.

    Might have to agree to disagree.

  23. RUKIDDINGME???: You must chill. You’re taking this waaaay to seriously. Get off the soap box. Taste is a matter of taste. I consider white jeans after Labor Day to be of poor taste? Does that make me inappropriate?

  24. I think the question is: Can it be funny if it’s inappropriate?

    That’s like America’s funniest video when Grandma falls down. You laugh right? but if it were your elderly grandma with a bad hip and a widow and little health care, would you laugh? probably not…

    I thought they were sort of funny, but really sort of simple funny. I was offended though, by “They Shake Me.” If someone who’s child died who was shaking by a trusted care provider read that…would you think it was funny while thinking of that horrible situation? No…would you think it was funny when a child is taken away from their family because their father is an alcoholic? would you think it was funny?

    The others well, I don’t see them as horrifying…”hung like a five year old…” is sort of pedophalic…
    I’m not really religious so I can’t say of the Jesus one is offensive. But honestly, I’m not offended if other people find them funny…I just think they don’t think like I do. That these are real sad situations making fun on a shirt…intended for innocent unknowing children. Laugh all you want. I won’t judge. I just don’t agree.

  25. I never said they weren’t funny, I’m just saying: would you wear one? If so, then you and Will can have matching ones. There are many things that are hilarious when viewed safely through the computer screen, but not so funny when you actually buy them and get them home. For example: lolcatz. I think the funny/naughty slogan t-shirts fall into lolcatz territory.

  26. OMG! I’ve been missing all of this uptight, judgmental ranting from RU, and the bitch mentioned my name. Aaron, CCG, you’ve got to let me know when such things occur.

    No, love, when I look in the mirror, I see one hot mama with an incredible sense of humor. Get over yourself already! I can assure you that I’m not white trash, and since you have no idea what my son’s shirts said (other than the “recess” one) or where I took him, I think you should keep your big mouth shut about me. Oh, and don’t bother coming to my blog, since uptight people like you just can’t take a joke. I bet you’re a Sarah Palin lover, too.

  27. there are lots of preggo/ baby shirts that are really funny. these aren’t.

    that’s just lewd and horrible to put on an innocent baby. and if you respect people who like them, you should respect people who think the opposite–otherwise don’t post it on your blog asking for people’s opinions! i don’t dress my kid like everyone else–he has his own cute, innocent, individual baby style.

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