Wii Need to Talk

This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

On Wednesday MJ surprised me with a pre-birthday dinner at Pub 99. My parents, my brother and her parents all were nice enough to come down and celebrate and I was touched they all took time to come out for me. Not to mention, my parents got me an absolutely kick ass present…

I am now the proud owner of a Nintendo Wii.

I’m turning 29 years old tomorrow and it took everything in me not to jump around the restaurant with unabashed giddiness at the sight of that sweet, sweet video game system. For those who don’t know, the Wii is an interactive video game system where you hold a remote and the characters on the screen move according to your movements. You can playing bowling, golf, boxing, tennis, football, car racing and a slew of other games. I’ve been lusting after it for more than a year now but they are too expensive for us right now, so I’ve been getting my fix from my friends and family members who have Wii.

When we got home late Wednesday night I immediately set it up and began playing. And I don’t just love playing with my Wii (sounds dirty doesn’t it?), I quickly realized I’m now obsessed with it. And being obsessed with things other than my son, my wife and Boston sports teams may not be a good thing because this Wii just might suck up every last minute of my remaining available free time.

For instance, I find myself waiting (rather impatiently) for Will to either take a nap or fall asleep for the night so I can rush to my Wii and try to beat my high score of 278 for bowling. And when Will starts to stir, instead of rushing right over to him I’m just trying to play the last three holes of golf faster so I can get to the Pro level. I know ignoring my son for personal Wii greatness is not a good idea, but that thing is like crack to me.

And to make matters worse, it just might be the catalyst for MJ to finally murder me.

We are two very competitive people. And on top of that, neither of us are what you’d call “gracious winners.” It all started when MJ tried to bowl. She has THE FUNNIEST BODY MOVEMENTS EVER when she bowls on the Wii. She takes a couple of small steps forward and then violently jabs the remote control toward the TV like she’s a serial killer in a cheesy horror movie. To her credit she throws the ball really hard, but she looks like a crazy person. Needless to say, she did not appreciate my hysterical laughter.

And when we first tried Wii Golf she was really good and I couldn’t get the hang of it. My misery and frustration mixed with her winning pleased her immensely. But since I HATE losing, I stayed up for three hours after she went to bed and perfected my Wii golfing technique on Thursday night. So when we played today just before I left for work, she was none too pleased to realize that I am now quite possibly the best Wii golfer on the planet. I even got a hole in one!

But the point is that the Wii is an absolutely terrific birthday gift for which I eternally thankful. However, it may be turning me into a terrible father and putting my health and well being in jeopardy, and my wife may or may not be planning my death because of it. So when MJ asked me what I wanted for my birthday, maybe I should’ve listened to the little voice inside of my head telling me to shut my smart ass mouth when I said:

“Baby, all I need is you and Will with me for my birthday because you guys are the two best gifts I could ever ask for….but I’ll take Wii MarioKart with two Wii Wheels so I can continue kicking your ass at all things Wii related!”

Something tells me I might not be getting a birthday sandwich.

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