Women Are Crazy

I will never understand women. Mostly because it’s impossible to truly understand an entire gender that is not hindered by any kind of logic.

My wife bought a new purse a month ago. Then, last week, she suddenly told me she needed another one. Silly me, I thought it was perfectly reasonable to question why the hell she would need a new purse when she JUST bought one a few weeks ago. That’s when she told me—well, see for yourself.


First of all, I do not understand the concept of taking the time to purchase something and then all of a sudden not liking it. Whether it’s accessories, clothes, gadgets, etc. it just doesn’t make sense. If I buy something it’s because I’ve researched it, compared it to other items and decided that’s the one I want. So the idea of my wife looking at purses, searching for one with specific characteristics, finding it, buying it and then NOT liking it, is just foreign to me.

As a guy, I find something I like and stick with it as long as possible. I just got a new wallet but I had my old one for seven years. It had holes in it (not really a problem as I never had any money to lose) and the only reason I replaced it is because MJ said it was no longer acceptable. The same goes for my shoes and clothes. I wear them out until there’s barely anything left, and then I still try to wear them after that.

I call it “maximizing value.”

And before you start, it has nothing to do with money. One of those purses was $10 and the other was $20. It’s not about the money. It’s about the principle of the thing. And I’m sorry, but MJ’s explanation just does not make sense.

Both purses had three compartments. Both were roughly the same size. Saying that one was more difficult to find things in is just ridiculous, as the video proves. Not to mention she’s got SO MANY other purses. Small purses, big purses, red purses, blue purses. You can fit Horton and every single Who in her collection of purses. I’ll never understand the female need to stock up on purses and shoes. It’s utterly ridiculous.

People talk about needing different accessories and clothes for different occasions. Bullshit! I have one suit, one tie and one pair of dress shoes. I wear them to weddings and funerals, baptisms and burials. I have one watch and I never worry about matching it to my belt, which is my fanciest accessory because the belt can be either brown or black depending on which way you adjust it. I work in a corporate environment so I wear slacks and button-down shirts, so I understand it’s important to look presentable. But that’s where it ends for me.

And furthermore, even if I did screw up by buying something I didn’t like (excluding clothes that don’t fit), I wouldn’t return it or get a new one. I’d just make do with what I had because that’s the only thing that makes sense.

I love my wife. I love women. But when I brought this up on Twitter recently, I was met with criticism from women while my wife received support. Which leads me to my long-held assertion that women simply don’t make a damn bit of sense when it comes to this shit. However, when I try to combat this lunacy with logic I’m met with condescending stares and comments about “just not getting it.”

You’re right. I don’t get it. Because I’m sane.

My wife, however, told me she can think of at least one other thing in her life she’d like to trade in for a newer model.

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17 thoughts on “Women Are Crazy

  1. I’m a woman and this makes total sense to me. What I can’t understand is how YOU can’t understand it. It’s really very simple. Also, for the record I like the black/white purse way better than the plain black one.
    Being Loopy recently posted..5 Things FridayMy Profile

  2. I hate to tell ya, but you’re totally in the wrong, and I *HATE* my item eating purse. I lose my frigging phone in the damn thing and once I find that it’s eaten my keys. And it’s about 1/2 the size of the black one. I’m just too damn lazy to move my stuff over to my next purse (and that’s a mid-season change, not just a summer purse vs. winter purse thing).
    Also, your one tie/one pair of shoes argument is invalid as you don’t wear them every day. PLUS your wallet equals her wallet. The purse is like the jacket, table, tray, car pocket, pants pocket and where ever else it is that you guys stuff your keys/phones/cheques…oh wait, in my family that’s my purse.
    neeroc recently posted..I’ve got the solution!My Profile

  3. Aaron, purses and shoes are like women’s sports! It’s kind of an obsession and it doesn’t need to make sense. Do you want to watch only one football game or all of them.. I have a ton of purses and I never use any of them.. So I guess I’m just as crazy as the next girl..Hey, if we were that easy to figure out then you guys wouldn’t be interested at all. :).

  4. Beth: Nope, that analogy doesn’t add up. If I want to watch all the games and I buy a package to do so, then I’ll watch all the games (ie the Red Zone channel). And that’s fine. If women used all of the purses they buy I wouldn’t have so much of a problem with it. But they don’t. They buy purses that sit around collecting dust. That’s like me buying NFL Sunday Ticket to watch all the games, but never using it.

    But yes, I guess female craziness does keep us guys on our toes!
    Daddy Files recently posted..Women Are CrazyMy Profile

  5. Aaron, think of the solid black purse as a lake in Maine. It looks ok a first, but then you realize it’s so big…you lose your car keys in it.

    Too soon?

  6. As another mentioned… it doesn’t need to make sense. Purses, shoes, clothes and accessories make women happy. Isn’t it easier just to let it be rather than trying to understand? Be thankful she doesn’t insist on expensive Coach purses or the like 😉
    Janae recently posted..Hysterectomy at 30My Profile

  7. Okay, maybe I’m the abnormal one when it comes to being a woman. I have one purse… a fanny pack that I sling over my shoulder. I’ve had it for at least 5 years. This year is an exception on shoes… my tennis shoes I bought for winter didn’t wear out, so I have them and a pair of clogs I bought for summer. Oh, and the fake crocs that one of my daughters wore last year fit me, so I have those when I just want something simple around the house. Usually I have one pair of shoes… period. When they wear out, I get another. My weakness is books. Absolutely love them. They fill the bookshelves, are stacked on my desk, in both bathrooms and on my bedside table. And yes, I’ve read most of them at least once. Those I haven’t read are still on my to do list.

  8. Maybe you should be pickier about the battles you pick? This just doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. To each his (or her) own.

  9. Liz: I’ve read your comment several times now. And I hate you. That is all. 😉

    Molly: I don’t pick my battles. I just battle. I’ll never learn.

    Janae: Yes it does have to make sense. Things need to make sense, otherwise there’s just chaos!
    Daddy Files recently posted..Women Are CrazyMy Profile

  10. I must be losing my mind… I actually agree with Aaron. When I buy something, it’s because I’m sure I want it and I’ve researched it to death. The end. The only reason I return something is if it is defective. However, I have a sister-in-law that returns every item she buys. There are stores that have her on a ‘no returns’ list because she buys and returns so much crap.

    I have 2 purses I rotate – one brown, one black. That covers it. I have a few pairs of shoes… but only because flip flops are not acceptable at work. Or so I’ve been told. I hate to buy shoes. Hate.
    Lisa recently posted..Teenage boys…they will be the death of my grocery planning!My Profile

  11. Nah, I’m with you on this one. The last 3 purses I’ve had were presents from friends who just couldn’t take the raggedy nature of my whichever one I had at the time. The straps on my faux leather straps are cracked and pealing right now but I still have a ways to go before replacing it.

  12. I have zero purses and my husband has more shoes than I do.
    In my opinion: buying something = committing to it.
    That’s all I have to say about that, haha.

  13. I’m a woman, and yet, I fail to understand the obsession with purses and shoes, myself. I have 2 purses, both of which were gifts and which I rarely use, and I have about as few shoes as my husband has.

    Of course, I’m also the one that has spent inordinate amounts of time researching things before we buy them because I hate buyer’s remorse (or things just sitting and collecting dust).

  14. Oh hell, we are all thinking this to death. Women want purses, men want sex. Just get on with it.

  15. Oh, Aaron, if you don’t understand this, you’ll never understand anything. And I like the black one better, but how great to have them both!

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