Yeah, I Get It. He’s Big…

This post also appeared on www.capecodonline.com/blogs in the opinion section of the Cape Cod Times, a division of Ottaway Newspapers, Inc.

Will is 5 months old today. The only problem is he looks like he’s old enough to get his driver’s license!

Seriously, the kid is just big. He’s tall and he’s solid. He looks like he ate the Michelin Man’s baby. His legs resemble hamhocks and he’s cursed with his father’s chubby cheeks. And since we’ve already established he’s the cutest baby on the freaking planet, we get stopped by relatives, friends and even complete strangers who feel the need to comment on his size. As if we somehow had failed to notice.

But to be honest, it’s getting a little old and some of the comments are bordering on inappropriate and insulting. For instance:

One of my neighbors feels the need to go out of her way to tell me how big Will is every single time she sees him. But this old lady seems to be the Queen of Backhanded Compliments because she comes out with gems like “Oh my…he’s even larger than last week huh?” I not-so-politely remind her that children tend to grow and if they didn’t there would be a serious problem. She never takes the hint, and then says “But he’s SO big, have you ever thought about doing some baby exercises with him?” No, actually it never crossed my mind to do fun exercises with my son. Obviously all we do with him is prop him up in front of the TV with a bowl full of Twinkies! Now how about you take your geriatric derriere back to your mothball infested condo before I let my gargantuan son eat your elderly bones!

My other pet peeve lately is people coming up to me and saying “So how old is he? About 8-9 months?” I always dread this because when I tell them he’s only 5 months they get this shocked look on their face and then they say something like “Oh my goodness, he’s HUGE!” Then they look at him and get right in his face and say things like “You’re a BIG boy aren’t you?” How very astute of you sir or madam, to make the keen observation that my son is large for his age. Just so you know, the sky is blue and the ocean is very wet. Now leave my son alone before I remove his diaper and pelt you with it.

And I usually don’t mind good-natured comments like “He’s gonna be a linebacker” and stuff like that, but when one person called him a future Sumo wrestler I took offense. Especially since it was a complete stranger who said it and she was roughly 5’4″ and 250 lbs. So I muttered “Are you going to be his instructor?” but the old bat’s hearing wasn’t shot like I thought it would be. Oh well, you can’t be friends with everyone.

But seriously, I can’t believe he’s 5 months old already. He cut his second tooth right next to the other one coming in on the bottom. He’s started a new trend where he gives raspberries and spits all over everything, sort of like a chimp. He’s also taken to making very loud sucking noises whenever he’s hungry. I won’t lie, it’s just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And ever since he learned how to grab the covers and blankets around him, he pulls them over his face. The only problem is he doesn’t realize cause and effect yet, so he freaks out crying when he puts the blanket over his head because he has no clue why everything has gone dark. I know it’s probably very scary to him, but I admit I let it go on for a few seconds before helping him out because it strikes me as completely hilarious!

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22 thoughts on “Yeah, I Get It. He’s Big…

  1. don’t worry when he starts getting mobile you’ll see that these comments diminish-David was 10 lbs at birth any my 6 week old is almost 12lbs already-all breastmilk-I feel the pain!

  2. He’s a baby. Things are still moving into their proper places. Give it a few more months and he’ll smooth out. He’s incredibly adorable. No question!

  3. I have been reading your blog for a while(got the link from baby center and been reading since the pumping entry) Anyway, our kids were born the same day. This is my third. First was a boy, big in size. Second a girl just normal range. This time another girl and ranges around 80 – 90 percentile. You think have a bigger boy is bad? Try having a girl who is on the bigger size. I wish I could count the number of times I see the eyes of a stranger get big when I say she is 5 months, not older. You have to realize people are stupid and they say stupid things. This is just the beginning for you. Starts with this then when they get a bit older…it is who is crawling first or walking first. Who said their first word first. Then in school who is smarter. Soccer, who kicks the ball better…so get a strong backbone! My oldest starts kindergarten this week…so I can just imagine the new bar that I am going to have to try to reach with him.

  4. “Now how about you take your geriatric derriere back to your mothball infested condo before I let my gargantuan son eat your elderly bones!”

    Ahahahahahahaaaaa!!

  5. Suggest you tell the commenters that you were lucky and pleased that Will was blessed with your genes. Then any remarks about his size will seem like a slap at you … should quiet the crowd … ;o)

  6. I know how you feel try it when its a girl
    when people say she’s “huge” Time will take care of all as long as he eats the proper foods and exercises as he gets older. Ignore the stupid people

  7. People can be so stupid sometimes!!!! I get sick of the comments too! i tell people he’s four months and they are like, “wow, he’s a big baby for his age.” the doctor said he’s just fine! lol Don’t you just love how people think they are a doctor and they have a right to be concerned????? grrr… I already get pissed at people saying, “oh SHE’S so cute,” when he’s in all blue!!!?!?!?!!!! what the hell?!?!?!?!!

  8. I get the big for her age comments too but the funniest part for me is the blankets over the head. My 4 month old started that this week and it’s pretty funny to watch them for a moment before you help out. She bites the blanket at the same time and makes the funniest noise. Ahhh babies!

  9. This is the first blog I have read of yours and I absolutely cracked up. My son is large and in charge! 5 months only on Sept. 2nd, he is 25 pounds and 29 inches long! I get a ton of comments. People freak out when I tell them he is wearing 12 to 18 month clothing and is in a size 3/4 diaper! Our babies are perfect and as my ped says as long as he isn’t terribly delayed in development he is doing just fine!!! Cheers to the chubbers.

  10. Hi! from the april boards on WTE and i get that crap all the time! i tell them “shes going to be 5 months on the 11th and is 20lbs” they dont believe me, like i dont know how old my baby is. her legs are also big and have lots of rolls. shes tall too, 26″ and i think she is perfect…i honestly think people should keep their ignorant comments to themselves.

  11. ALL these kids are HEALTHY…none of them are walking or running or probably even cruising or crawling enough and the baby fat is the storage they need to develope the fatty tissues in their brains!

    TRUST me, as a mom with two big babies and a friend of a woman who is worker for CDC, the comments almost ALWAYS come from people with NO kids, or old people who think you should potty train your babies at 18 months because their kids had clothe diapers that would blister their bottoms so the poor kids HAD to train…

    (Not that there is anythign wrong with cloth diapers, but back in the day it was as hygenic (sp)…I’m a terrible speller and never get any sleep and usually am 1 hand typing-ignore the grammar issues and spelling…)

    If your babies are breast and bottle feed and happen to eat well ENCOURAGE IT! Because when they get older it’s likely they’ll go through phases of NOT eating because they are teething or sick…Just smile and nod, they are IGNORANT!

  12. I’m from WTE. I get the same thing with my almost 5 month old. People are such idiots sometimes and obviously they weren’t taught that if you can’t saying anything nice, then say nothing. Our babies are just healthy and any extra weight will fall off once they start crawling and walking. Your articles seriiously make me smile. have a great day.

  13. I’m from babycenter, too, and yes, I too have a Chunky Monkey. 5 months yesterday also, nearly 21 pounds and 27.25 inches long. The doctor is super impressed with him and says he is perfect. But yes, everybody thinks he’s older and comment on how big he is, which luckily no one has been rude yet, except my father-in-law (gotta love those in-laws!) who said “Remember, fat is bad. Strong is good. Don’t overfeed him.” when we started solids. Really? Will you disown him? I asked him if he was joking when he said that, and he said no, not at all. So now, even though I know he’s healthy, I have this nagging voice in the far back of my brain saying “fat is bad” whenever I feed him. So thanks for undermining my confidence as a first-time mom!!! Personally, I think chubby babies are happier and way cuter!!

  14. Aaron, I totally feel you on this one! I have quite the chunker myself! I get so tired of people saying he is too big! He’s healthy and thats all that matters! Just ignore ignorant people like that! Will is doing just fine!

  15. I, too, had tons of comments when my son–now 18–was an infant/toddler. He was huge. The real problem came when he was 3 and 4 years old, looked 6 to 7 years old, and people expected more of him. By the time he was 5 he was on par with most of his peers and today is average size!

  16. People are idiots. My son was born looking like a teen, not a baby, so everyone always thinks he’s much older than he is. He’s seven and almost my height, and people expect so much more out of him until I tell them he’s seven.

    They say, “Oh, I thought he was at least ten.” I feel like saying, So, you thought my kid was slow or something? You can go now!

  17. My kids were always big for their age too. The worst for me was not when people commented on their size as babies, but when I was 7 months pregnant and some people would always comment that I was “due any day” “about to pop” or that I looked terribly overdue. I think sometimes people just say things cause they have to say SOMETHING. There is nothing wrong with a chubby baby! And I love the bowl of twinkies in front of the tv!!!

  18. Oh yeah? Well my kids are so big I just sent my 11 month old to the store to get me a pack of smokes, and my 4 year old is collecting social security!

    We couldn’t use strollers; we had to use shopping carts! The big Costco kind.

    My third kid is batting .319 in double A. He’s 7- they’re so cute at that age aren’t they?

    Maybe I should have stopped feeding them Creatin shakes instead of formula. What? I got them mixed up one day. They like it. You try telling a 6’5” 350lb toddler “no.”

  19. LMAO!!! One-up not only made my day with that but also nailed a lot of parents attitudes.

  20. Ok OneUp – you made me laugh out loud! I loved it!

    Will is a big kid, and I’m glad he is. Of course, he would be the perfect child no matter what size he was in my eyes. But I wouldn’t change a thing about him.

    I think people try and say what they think the parents want to hear. It is just sometimes that is terribly misguided or wrong. I know I have been guilty of that in the past.

    Now I can’t get the image of a 6’5″ 350 lb toddler out of my mind!

  21. Don’t let it stress you out! I just put my daughter, who just turned 4 month old today, in a 12 month onsie today and couldn’t believe it fit! I’m not concerned though, my oldest daughter was a very big baby. Chunky everything. The Dr. at one point said watch her weight, which I thought was ridiculous! This was before she was moving around and once that happened VOILA weight evened out and she is a little skinny thing now at 2 years old. In my experience, this is how most babies are.

    Next time someone makes an innopropriate comment just say something like “Why would you say that?” Should make them reflect on how rude they were.

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